


You should be aShaned

by OxfordPictionary



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Comic Universe Presence, F/M, Flashbacks, Police Officer Rick, Police Officer Shane, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse, Protective Shane, Strong Female Characters, Techno Music References, Violence, Zombies, spousal abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:52:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 65,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordPictionary/pseuds/OxfordPictionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah I know I should be ashamed of that pun. I am. <br/>One of the girls Shane might have given his spare key to if the world hadn't ended. Rick and Lori hire the quirky Australian girl from their little town to babysit their son Carl and when the world goes under they find themselves running into the fiery immigrant with no way home to her family and an unknown connection to the Sheriff Deputy Shane Walsh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been binge watching old seasons of the walking dead and I've decided that I'm going to give writing a fanfiction for the show a good old college try. There will be some jumping in between the current apocalypse and the past in the first few chapters to set things up but I won't do too much as it is a zombie story. 
> 
> I do not own the Walking Dead or any of it's characters featured in this story I do however own this story and my own characters. 

The virus was spreading quicker than I'd expected. I couldn't listen to the radio broadcasting the same message over and over again so I turned it off, which made the screams echoing around me even louder. Three weeks ago I was out on the town, having fun just like everyone else. I was meeting guys and I was waking up the next morning not remembering most of it. Two weeks ago I was excited about being put on the payroll at work instead of being a day labourer. Last week I was planning a camping trip. Two days ago I was babysitting and eating microwaveable lasagne out of the box.   
  
It's almost amazing just how quickly the world turned to shit. Currently I'd locked myself in the car and was crouched under the dashboard in front of the seat with a map, trying to figure out what I hell I was doing. Even though the authorities had said to head to Atlanta, that we'd be safe, I couldn't believe it. That many people together is a bad idea. Just one person has to be infected and we'd be overrun. I struggled out of my hiding spot, wiggling free from the pedals that had dug into my skin.   
  
I'd have to go somewhere. And soon. It wouldn't be long before the dead would take over and there would be no way out. I checked the back of the car one last time and made sure I was still carrying everything I could could get my hands on. I'd probably packed some non essential items in the mad dash to fill up and move on but they weren't taking up too much space so I wasn't worried.   
  
Strapping myself in I turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb, wheels crushing the gravel beneath them. There wasn't much happening on the outskirts of King county but I could still hear the terror. I knew as soon as I headed back towards the centre of town that it would be chaos, I'd see things no one should have to see and that I'd be in mortal danger until I figured out where the fuck I was going.   
  
I decided I'd go to the police station and try to find Shane. Maybe he wouldn't be interested in seeing me, I know I'm still mad at him for what happened but the fault was also mine. And the end of the world has a funny way of bringing us back together. I only had a half tank of gas so before I did anything I'd have to refill. There was two empty jerry cans on the back-seat which would need to be filled as well.  I didn't have many guns on my possession but you could be damned sure that when I stepped out of my Jeep I was packing heat.   
  
Tucked into the back of my pants and concealed by my red jacket I had a Smith & Weston M&P with spare magazines tucked into my pockets. Under my jacket I was sporting a brown leather harness and holster for my Ruger 22/45 that I'd learned to shoot with when I'd first moved over to America.   
  
I jumped from the jeep, shut my door quietly and grabbed my jerry cans, slipping round to the side of the car that the pump was on. I filled up the cans and tucked them back into the car before locking the doors and filling my gas tank. I looked left and right like I was crossing the road and hurried into the store. I was actually surprised the cashier was not only working in this chaos but still had the automatic doors turned on. I stepped inside the building and I heard the familiar  _'bing'._ I looked over to the counter where the cashier should be stood and saw that his skull had been impaled on a pen.   
  
"Oh, he's dead." I commented out loud. "Guess I won't be paying for my gas then." I sighed, scratching the back of my neck with my free hand. A guy behind the counter who was going through the till laughed while I fingered the baseball bat in my other hand.   
  
"You should get yourself out of here while you still can princess." Another man spoke to me, making me jump a little.   
  
"I plan to." I replied, grabbing some more bottled water and some dental hygiene products and running back to my black Jeep. I looked left and right again before dropping to the ground beside my car to check nothing and no one were under it.   
  
Once I knew it was clear I unlocked the car and jumped back in. I locked myself in and did a head check before driving do to the county police station. It was a long shot but I knew for a fact that I could not do this alone. 


	2. Yesterday before the world ended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary? Fuck that mate

Yesterday before the world ended  
  
_Get it? Because Tomorrow when the War began?? Okay so maybe it wasn't that funny._

* * *

I was woken up by 'Lonely no more' by Rob Thomas blaring through my bedroom. I groaned and rolled over, holding my forehead. It was true, I didn't want to be lonely any more however that didn't mean my radio had the right to just blare my life's theme tune through my home first thing in the morning. I smacked the clock on my bedside table and sat up, holding my head. I probably should have inhaled as many beers as I did last night. Yeah that's right, inhaled. I opened my mouth and suddenly I was already through my first 6 pack.   
  
I dragged my tired body from my bed and grabbed my phone from it's charger and started checking Facebook. I went into the bathroom and dropped a berry Berocca into a glass of water and waited for the round tablet to dissolve. I almost had a heart attack when I'd found out America didn't have Australia's favourite hangover cure. I'm not sure that's what you're supposed to use them for but we do. Every couple of months I get a care package from my parents overseas which usually contains Berocca Performance and herbal tea recipes. It wasn't unusual for me to be pouring out a cup of something weird and wonderful or adding spices to my coffees. Starbucks had nothing on me man, I reckon I've got one up on their green tea.   
  
I walked into the kitchen clutching my now red and fizzy glass and turning on my coffee grinder. I sliced open a bagel and popped it in the toaster but didn't push the button down. If there was one supposed hangover cure I swore to, it was the greasy breakfast. In fact I clung to the idea that bacon could make everything better, even if that wasn't strictly true. I stuck some slices of streaky bacon -something I'd had to get used to- into the frying pan with some butter and oil. I went through to the bathroom and washed my face in order to wake me up some more before returning to my coffee maker. I added the ground coffee and cinnamon powder to the group handle and slotted it into the machine. I pressed the button after adding my sugar to the mug and pouring some milk into the metal jug. I stuck the jug under the froth-er and groaned as the screeching noise of the steam nozzle upset my headache.   
  
I made my froth and poured it into my coffee mug, stirring it and putting it to the side as I sipped my glorified soda water.  I cracked some eggs into the pan and pushed the button for my bagel down. I finished off my Berocca and put the glass in the sink, feeling a lot better already. I took some Tylenol anyway to speed things up a bit. 

* * *

  
A little after breakfast I showered and got ready for work. This was my first shift on the payroll and I was pretty excited. It was pretty uncommon to find females in the construction industry out here and even less common to find one on the payroll. I tossed my tool kit and my tool belt in the back-seat of my Jeep Wrangler and headed off to work for the morning. It was pretty hot out these days so we were usually working from 6am to about 3pm.  Which worked perfectly for me with all the baby sitting I did on the side.   
  
"Hey Addie." One of the older construction workers, Tom, called as I hopped out of my Jeep.  
  
"Hey Tom!" I waved at him affectionately. I tied up my tool belt around my waist and tucked my open button down into it. It was still loose though so I could still move around easily. I patted my side to make sure my gun was safely holstered by my breast and then carried my toolbox onto the site.   
  
Mike the site manager handed me a hard hat and sent me off on my first task of the day, laying the flooring on the second story. I rolled up my shirt sleeves to keep me cool and yawned a little. The hangover seemed to have subsided however I was still a little tired. During my lunch break one of my older customers, Lori, called me and asked if I could please pick up her son Carl up from school today. She said she'd call the school next to let them know it was okay and there was a spare key under the mat.   
  
I was allowed by the site manager to leave early because he didn't want me to be late to picking up the deputy's kid. I just rolled my eyes, Rick was a nice guy and he wouldn't mind if I picked up his son as the bell was ringing instead of arriving before hand. Sometimes he'd come home at dinnertime with his friend from the sheriff's department. I couldn't help but notice that his friend was a rather attractive bloke and I wouldn't have minded getting to know him better. 

* * *

  
I walked up to the school gates and stood where I knew the little tyke could see me and waited for the bell to dismiss everyone. Suddenly the doors to the main building burst open and a hoard of middle-schoolers spilled out into the playground. I waved over to him when he was looking my way, ignoring the gossiping voices of the mothers behind me.   
  
"There she is again." They said.  
  
"When will she have kids of her own?"  
  
"Isn't she a little old to be baby sitting?"  
  
"Doesn't she have another job?"  
  
"Anne said she works with her husband at the construction site."  
  
_'Fucking vultures.'_ I thought and then turned my attention back to the little boy in front of me. He'd seen me waving and screamed out to me.  
  
"Addie!!" He called out to me and started running down towards the gates with his arms wide. He wrapped his arms around my waist when he reached me and tucked his head in close.   
  
"Hey there little bug. Ya miss me?" I asked ruffling his hair.   
  
"Uh huh!" He replied skipping beside me to the Jeep parked at the side of the curb.   
  
"Can I sit in the front today?" He looked at me with pleading eyes.  
  
"Are you 13 yet?" I asked.   
  
"No." he replied putting his head down and shuffling his feet.   
  
"Then no."   
  
I opened the back back door on the opposite side to the drivers seat and pulled my tool kit and belt off the backseat, opening up the trunk and putting them in the back. I helped him up into the seat and made sure he was strapped in before shutting the door. Carl was pretty well behaved but that didn't mean I was taking the child lock off the back doors.   
  
"Addie it's hot out." Carl whined.   
It's true, it was hot out today. It was about 103 degrees out today and the air conditioning in the car wasn't exactly the best. I scratched the back of my head and knew exactly what to do. It was about time for a snack after all. There was a drive in theatre where all the teenagers go that opened every night at 5 but in front of that was a little van in front of it that opened at 2:30. I started driving the opposite way from his house and he started questioning.   
  
"Where are we going?" He asked noticing we got closer and closer to the centre of town.   
  
"Well it's hot out today, so it's way to hot to make our homework snacks ourselves." I replied.   
I drove out to the kiosk and made sure there was a table clear. I knew Lori wouldn't mid what I fed Carl so long as he wasn't bouncing off the walls when she got home. But the condition was he had to have his homework done before dinner. Carl put his bag down next to out table and ran up to the menu board. He was hopping from foot to foot trying to decide what to eat.   
  
"What can I get?" he asked me when I stood beside him.   
  
"Whatever you want kiddo." I replied, walking back to my Jeep and reaching into the glove box. I picked up a stick of roll on sun block and started rolling on Carl while he divvied up his time between making a fuss about the sun block and decided on what to stuff his face with.   
  
"Can I get a hot dog?" He asked looking at me.  
  
"Sure," I replied. I had told him he could have anything her wanted. "What do you want on it?" he eventually settled on ketchup, mustard and bacon pieces. I got some fries for the table and got myself a burger and onion rings. He hopped happily over to the table and got out his homework, beginning to work.   
  
I saw him furiously scribbling down his answers and erasing his mistakes trying to get it all done before his food was ready. I smiled at him and wondered what my future kids would be like. I shook my head and collected our snacks, taking them over to the table.  
  
"Need some help squirt?" I asked watching as he chewed on his lip thoughtfully.   
  
He nodded and pushed the book over to me and started munching on his hot dog. I read over the problem in his book and tried to see where he'd gone wrong. Fractions, man's worst enemy.  
  
"Fractions, something you'll actually use in real life." I commented. I moved my chair over beside him and put down my onion rings.  
  
"So," I started putting pencil on paper and beginning to explain to him how to work the problem out.

* * *

  
"Can we get Slurpee-s?" Carl asked as we drove past a 7/11 in town on the way back home.   
  
"I guess so." I sighed internally pulling into a parking spot out front. I walked him into the store and grabbed two small cups and let him fill his own. I put the straws in and then took them up to the counter watching Carl eye all the candy. After paying for them we went back to the car and I was watching his tongue and lips turn blue as he chatted away happily.   
  
I pulled up to his house and got the key out from under the mat as he trotted along beside me. I unlocked the door and returned the key, sitting in the lounge room letting Carl flick through the cartoons. Shortly after, just before they usually had their dinner, Lori returned carrying groceries and looking rushed off her feet.   
  
"Hey are you alright?" I asked walking into the kitchen and helping her put away her shopping.  
  
"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit tired is all, hun." She replied.  
  
"Why don't you go sit down and have a rest while I finish up here." I watched her fill up a glass of sweet tea from the fridge and nod, walking away to go and join Carl. I put all the groceries in their appropriate places and threw away the paper bags, making sure to hide the Slurpee cups.   
  
When I was done I made my excuses and got ready to leave, Lori got out her purse and paid me for the hours I'd looked after him. The amount she gave me covered the food I'd bought and there was some left over to go into me jar.   
I had a jar on top of the fridge where I kept all the money I'd been saving for various reasons. Just as I was leaving I saw Rick pull up into the driveway and slide out of the squad car.   
  
"Hey Addison." He greeted with a smile and a wave.   
  
"Hey Rick, how ya been?" I returned, slipping my hands into my shorts pockets.   
  
"Pretty good, got out early today. How's work been treating you?" He questioned to which I jumped with a grin.  
  
"Awesome, they put me on the payroll finally so I'm working full time."   
  
"That's fantastic." He smiled walking closer to his porch. "Well I'll see ya next time around."   
  
"Have a good one." I replied, opening the door to my Jeep and pulling away from the house.


	3. How Far We've Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, I based this chapter on the lyrics for the song, How Far We've Come by Matchbox 20

****How Far We've Come  
  
"Remain calm. Help is on the way."  
  
I  woke up to a robotic voice blaring through my bedroom instead of my usual classic hits radio station. I was still groggy from the night before and it took me a minute to fully grasp what was happening. I seemed to have missed the start of the broadcast and I was even more confused.   
  
"This is a civil emergency. Please do not venture outside of your homes. Avoid anyone infected at all costs. Remain calm. Help is on the way."  
  
 _'Infected? What's happening??'_ I thought, panicking.  
  
"The Emergency Alert System has been activated. The Office of Civil Defence has issued the following message: Normal broadcasting will cease immediately. This is a civil emergency. Please do not venture outside of your homes. Avoid anyone infected at all costs. Remain calm. Help is on the way."  
  
The radio was playing the same message over again, emergency broadcast on repeat. I slammed down the off button on my alarm clock and rushed to the living room where I switched on the TV. There was a substantial part of me that believed this was all a hoax. It could have been a practical joke or what happened with War of the Worlds by HG Wells. On the news I was seeing reports of people attacking other people and tearing off their skin. They were eating flesh like fucking zombies or teenagers on bath salts. Screams echoed throughout the living room and I saw reporters barricading themselves inside the recording studio. I flipped stations and saw more terror and vile, infected people ripping apart innocent civilians.   
  
The reports urged people to stay inside and arm yourself, keep your family and loved ones safe from the virus. I slid down to the floor, crying now, in shock and terrified for the state of the world. Keep your family safe. I was miles from mine and I could only pray that David was actually doing his fucking job and looking after our son. I wonder what all this means, what my life means and who would notice if I was gone. Who would notice if I was infected.  
  
I stood up and slowly walked to the window. Outside I saw the neighbours packing their things hurriedly into their cars, keeping their children locked safely inside the back seats. I saw others driving down the more crowded than usual streets. This time of the morning there was usually no one outside and barely any traffic. I feel like a failure. What kind of mother am I? I should have fought harder for him, never let him leave my sight. Maybe I shouldn't have left David. Then I'd be with my boy. I began to wonder what he ever saw in me, wondered why my son even loved me.  
  
I turned suddenly when I heard frantic banging on my door, I heard someone screaming for me to let them in. I ran over to the door and started to unlock it. And then I stopped. _'What if this woman was infected?'_ I heard her screams get louder and her banging on the door more. I looked through the peep-hole of the door and saw bloodied men and women charging at her. Giving up on my door she started running again and managed to get passed them.   
  
I breathed deeply and put the chain back on the door and deadlocked it. I ran back to my bedroom and splashed my face with water, trying to remain calm. I went to grab my clothes and in my panicked state I climbed into the shower, running the water and trying to get it hot. I was running my hands through my hair when I realized what I was doing. Now was not the time to shower. I washed out the shampoo in my hair and then dried off. I threw on some dark jeans and a wife beater. Haha, what irony. I pulled on my gun harness and holster, checking the chamber and magazine. I tucked my Smith and Weston into the waistband of my jeans and then tugged on my red jacket to cover my arms. I pulled on some old combat boots and some leather finger-less gloves to protect my palms. It was nearly ten o'clock in the morning now, I had no idea I spent so much time in front of the television. I looked at the TV screen and started to tear up. This new threat on the world terrified me, but have me a sense of determination. This wasn't going to beat me, I was going to get my son.  
  
In reality he and David didn't live that far from me, still on this side of town. I grabbed my keys and phone, and the baseball bat I'd gotten from my grandfather the first time I moved out on my own. I shut and locked the door behind me and ran quickly down to the bottom floor of my apartment building. When I got outside the area around the resident's cars was crawling with the infected and I began to run, run far from there and headed for my old home.   
  
I had run nearly four blocks before I realized no one was following me. But that wasn't reason to slow down. I had to get to them, even if I had to spend the apocalypse with David, getting my son was worth it. I kept running towards the street where we used to live hoping for a miracle. I had to stop for a moment to catch my breath, I lent down on my knees, panting.  
  
I heard a growl behind me and started running again. I looked behind me and it was chasing me, and running quite fast for someone who was dead. I stopped running and it kept coming at me, still moving quickly. I readied myself, with my elbow out and the bat up at my shoulder I swung. The infected monster ran straight into the bat and flew back in the air, landing on the ground with a crack. I swung again and hit the un-moving corpse with full thrust. I jabbed the bat into it's face until the brain was exposed. I gasped in shock and stumbled back away from the body. Shaking the blood and skull off my bat I started running again, getting close to the old place.   
  
I ran straight up the driveway and banged on the door. I didn't see Dave's car outside but he may have moved it to the garage. I banged on the door again and searched for the key. The spare wasn't under the mat where it used to be and there wasn't one in the fuse box either. I jiggled the lock and realized I couldn't get it open that way. I stood back a moment and then lunched forward, kicking just right of the handle. I kicked again and again until the door burst open and I called out.  
  
"John?! JOHN!" I cried, running through the house to his room. I checked and his schoolbag was gone, the drawers were open and his clothing was missing.  
"David are you here? David?" I called out, distressed. In my old room all his things were gone as well. I went into the kitchen and found a note on the counter next to a gun.  
  
'Addie, I've taken John. I got him to pack his things when I found out this morning. We've packed up and we're running. If you find this, take the gun. The next step they'll take is issuing safe zones and refugee areas. Most likely Atlanta. Don't go to Atlanta, it's not safe. Stay away from highly populated areas. Keep yourself safe and get out of town. I hope you make it and I want you to know I really did love you.' I let out a strangled cry, choking as it left my throat. I hated that man, but he'd gotten my son out, even if I'd never see him again.   
  
I put the note down and looked at the shotgun on the counter. He'd left me a box of shells and a gun. He knew I'd come here and tried to protect me even though we'd split up. I've always thought he was an asshole, even when I was dating him. After we were married things got ugly and I was angry with him but I'm not sure he was all I'd demonized him to be. He never laid a hand on his son and he left me a gun. Maybe he really did love me. Still couldn't forgive him though. I folded the note and put it in my pocket.   
  
The cupboards had been cleaned out of all cans, dry food and the powdered and long-life milk. There was no bottled water left either. The fruit bowl was empty but it could have been like that since before doomsday. I looked at the fridge door, all the colour letter magnets were still there, as were the photos and John's drawings. There was one picture missing though, the one of me holding John as a baby. But I'm sure David took that down after I left him and tried to run with John. It seems people were always running off with my son.  
  
I ran into the bedroom again and pried up some of the floorboards, pulling out David's handgun. I hid this years ago in case he ever used it on me. After weeks of him looking for it and tearing the house apart he just bought a new one. It still had several magazines with it and it's leather holster. I clipped it on to my harness and grabbed a bag to throw the magazines and shells into. I headed into the garage grabbing the metal baseball bat that was left on the workbench along with a box of nails and several hammers, stuffing them in the bag.  
  
I took one last look at the fridge before I left and snatched off one of the drawings. I ran to the open front door that would be attracting attention soon and picked up the wooden bat which was still where I'd left it; resting by the coat rack. I held tightly to the bat in my hand and the bag over my shoulder and started running again.   
It didn't take long before I was back at my apartment building, the swarm of infected no longer present. I managed to get to my car and I jumped in, locking myself inside. I drove up over the pavement to my apartment block and reversed inside the automatic doors, parking in the lobby. I jumped out and locked the doors again, running up the stairs to my floor. Now my son was out I needed to get out too, start working on keeping me safe.   
  
I ran into my bedroom and threw the sheets off the bed, placing them in the laundry. I must have been still partially in shock as I started packing the mattress topper and quilt into their original packaging that I hadn't gotten around to throwing out yet. I put fresh cases on my pillows and packed them too, fresh sheets and quilt cover included. I pulled out a suitcase from under the bed, beginning to pack clothing. I emptied my underwear drawer on the bed beside me and threw in two weeks worth of bras and panties. I grabbed jeans, shorts, tank tops and t-shirts. I stuffed in button downs and some pyjamas, sweatpants and sweaters along with some jackets. Although it was hot out that didn't mean winter wouldn't come. I had to grab extra shoes and stuffed in some boots and sneakers. I was almost moving into a different room before I stopped and cried out.  
  
"Socks!" I yelled rushing back into the room to pack some. I next ran into the bathroom to pack the first aid kit and my toiletries. I already had one in the Jeep along with the camping supplies for the trip I'd been planning. Wasn't going anywhere now, was I? Well, actually I was because I couldn't stay here. I started cramming food into a large plastic box I'd found. All the tins I owned along with the dry food and bottled water was stuffed inside. I went to the bag with all my weapons and pulled out the box of nails and a hammer, putting nails into my wooden bat, making it into a spiky club.   
  
I breathed deeply. Now this was done I'd have to venture outside. The world was hell and I wished I could stay here but there was nothing for me. My apartment wasn't exactly in ship shape to protect myself from the rest of the world either. I shoved all my things to the front door. I checked I had everything, made sure I wasn't going to forget anything and looked towards the door again. With shaking hands I reached out for the nob and cautiously opened the door.   
  
A figure lunged for me and I screamed. "Shit!" I spat. I'd forgotten to check the peep hole before opening the door. It was the same girl I'd seen earlier, running from the infected. I felt a little guilty for not letting her in before, but I couldn't risk it. For all I knew she was already infected when she was banging on the door.   
  
Not that the guilt stopped me from beating her skull in with my spiky bat. She tackled me to the ground when she barged through the door. She must have been attracted to my door by the banging noise I made making my club. I held her throat while she was snapping at me, trying to get a taste of my delicious flesh. I wrapped my legs around her thighs and shoved her up, rolling us over. I pinned her to the ground by her shoulders as she still tried to bite at me. I punched her in the face hard enough to leave her dazed in order for me to scramble to my feet and grab my bat, that had gotten thrown out of the way.   
  
I swung down to hit her but she lunge towards me again and I missed. I stepped backwards and swung at her again, hitting her in the face this time and hearing a crunch but when I pulled the bat back she wasn't dead.   
  
"Damn it." I breathed, hitting her again and again. "Hurry up and die already."  
  
Eventually I was able to knock her brains out, literally, and head out with the first lot of my stuff. I made it down the stairs and was able to put my things in the trunk before I encountered my next infected. It was the old security guard who did a terrible job at keeping the place looked after. Still a nice guy though. I swung my bat at him and he flew backwards, knocking over another one with his lifeless corpse. I swung my bat down on that one, crushing it's skull. I had to get out of here.


	4. Meetings in a bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains lime if you're under like 14 you probably shouldn't be reading this

After a long day of both construction work and babysitting I returned to my apartment and slumped down in one of the chairs at the dinner table. I leant back in my chair and put a hand on my forehead. I sighed and then stood up after a long moment of just sitting in my chair. I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove with 2/3 of a litre water, lighting the burner and I began putting spices in the cast iron pot. I broke up a cinnamon quill and sprinkled it in the water before going to the mortar and pestle and beating the ever living shit out of 12 cardamon pods. Next I put in two tablespoons of ginger, 1 star anise, 2 tablespoons of sugar and 4 black tea bags.  
  
While my tea was boiling I put 1/2 a liter of milk in the microwave to heat that up at the same time. When the kettle screamed at me from the stove I strained the liquid and mixed the milk with the tea. I poured myself a cup and saved the rest for later. I'd cool it and then put it in the fridge to drink later.  
  
I was about ready for my day to be over but I also wanted to have some fun. I needed to be around people. Once I'd finished my tea I put my babysitting money in the jar I kept on top of my fridge, screwing the lid back on tightly. I stopped by the end table by my bedroom door and picked up the framed photo, looking at the brown haired boy affectionately. I held it close to my chest and breathed deeply.  
  
"I'll be back with you soon baby." I put the photo down and set it back in it's original position.  
  
I headed to the bathroom for a quick shower as today was hot and warranted a secondary, afternoon shower. I got changed into a casual blue & white dress and put on some fresh makeup. I pulled on some grey cowboy boots and put my phone, keys and wallet into a grey leather bag with a long strap. I slipped in a bottle of water and grabbed a small snack as I went out the door. I was headed to a bar down in town where all the young and loose went. It wasn't a long walk from my house and if I was going to drink I didn't want to drive my car down and have to leave it there.  
  


* * *

  
 I didn't get far before I ran into an old 'friend'. David was the last person on this earth that I wanted to see. "What do you want?" I practically snarled.   
  
"Going out are we? Or did you dress up all nice just for me baby doll?" He chuckled darkly.   
  
"It's none of your business. Leave me alone. You've caused me enough grief to last a lifetime." I was done taking crap from this asshole.  
  
"You wanna talk about grief? You should have known not to do what you did. You shouldn't have left me, you brought this upon yourself." I leaned in real close as he said this, breathing huskily in my face.   
  
" **No** Dave, I didn't. You can't walk around treating people the way you do. What  _you_ did to me was wrong and leaving you was the best decision I ever made." I told him.   
  
"I'll be sure to tell that to John." Dave replied with a laugh.   
  
"You won't have to. It's only a matter of time before I take him back from you. Celebrate your winnings now because soon I'm going to knock you off your throne." I moved to walk past him when he grabbed my arms.   
  
"You think you can talk to me like that? You can threaten me and just walk away?" He growled, digging his fingers in deep, holding tightly to the flesh of my upper arms.   
  
"Let go of me." I ordered. My head snapped to the side and my cheek stung as he swung his open palm at my face. He hit my jaw with the heel of his hand and I let out a pained cry. "You don't get to bully me anymore!" I screamed bringing my knee up and slamming it up into his crotch.   
  
He let me go and I ran down the flight of stairs keeping me from the ground floor of my apartment building. I ran out the building's main doors and down the street. I ran for a good 5-10 minutes before I slowed down. Maybe if it was anyone else I wouldn't have stopped. I'm a tough woman and I'd hit back for as long as necessary but today, with Dave, I just have to run. I leant on my knees, panting and catching my breath. I was only panting from the shock, as I was used to running for longer periods of time without getting tired. Regaining myself and realizing I was not followed I stood up straight and calmly walked to the bar, continuing with my agenda for the evening and not letting David spoil things again.   
  
I stalked into the bar and sat down at the counter, ordering a scotch. I needed to settle myself before I could really have fun and relax. I was nursing my second beer by the time my night got interesting. I felt the seat beside me be taken and turned my head to look at it's occupant. I noticed it was Rick's friend.   
  
"My my officer, you wouldn't be drinking on duty would you?" I teased, grinning at him.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it ma'am." He replied, returning my smile with one of his own. "I actually finished my shift not long ago."   
  
"Then what brings you here then, huh?" I asked, crossing my ankles as they hung from my stool above the ground.   
  
"Aren't we just full of questions." He commented. "Isn't that my job?"   
  
"Well go on then." I smiled, leaning in a little closer on the bar so my face was nearer to his.  
  
"How about you tell me why you're here?" He suggested.   
  
"Well that's easy. I'm just a girl looking for a good time." I smiled. "Anything else?"  
  
"Aw come on, you gotta give me more than that." He replied. "Hey," he said more seriously.   
  
Shane gently reached up his hand to touch the underside of my jaw and turn my face to the side. He examined the red hand print that was sure to bruise and looked at me with sympathy. "How'd you get this?" he prodded.  
  
"Wrong place at the wrong time?" I shrugged, hoping he'd accept it and move on.  
  
"Bull crap." He responded. I probably should have known better. Plus, lying to a cop is illegal.   
  
I sighed. "I had a run in with someone that I used to know. I'd really rather forget about it if I'm honest with you. I'm at this bar to forget my troubles."  
  
"Sorry." He commented. "That's going to be a real bitch tomorrow by the way."  
  
"Don't even get me started." I sighed with a smile. I stretched and I swear he saw the prints on my arms but he chose not to say anything.  A few drinks later we were still talking and we had moved to a booth near the back. My legs were crossed under the table and I felt his brush against mine. My knees touched the tips of his and I sat comfortable with the small amounts of gentle physical contact.  
  
When the usual crowd thinned out and the music quieted down I found myself over at the jukebox flicking through songs while Shane got the next round. He came over brushing against me as he set down my beer on the ledge next to me. I decided on what song I was going to put on and smiled.   
  
"This was my favorite song when I was younger, I'm not too sure why." I commented as the intro Safe and Sound by Capital cities started to play.   
  
"It's a cute song. Everyone wants to feel safe and sound." Shane replied.  
  
"I'm not a fan now, not really. I think I've changed too much. People change. Boy do I know that." I sighed.   
  
"So are you ever going to tell me how you got those hand prints." Maybe calling them hand prints made me feel a little better, I was used to calling them bruises and not wanting to talk about how they got there. I opened my mouth to speak and then sighed.   
  
"Baby I know that you think loose lips sink ships but you can't go around covering this up. Every time you just take it he gets away with it." Shane ran his thumb over my knuckles.  
  
"I'm not with him anymore." I sighed. "I didn't want to be one of those news stories where he took it too far and they found the wife dead somewhere. So I packed myself up and left. He likes to come around and visit. He likes to tease and taunt me. Likes to tell me I shouldn't have done what I did."  
  
"Have you told the police?" He asked me.  
  
"I actually had a court case against him but there wasn't enough evidence. It all got turned around against me and I looked like the bad guy. I haven't given up yet though." I stretched and rolled my shoulders. "Why don't we do something more fun?" I crawled over him in the booth and pulled him up, balancing my beer in one hand and dancing with him also.   
  
I ran my hands along his body, feeling that he had a rather toned chest. I was actually hoping things would go well enough tonight, or in the near future that I'd get to see it. I bit my bottom lip and I noticed his eyes drop down to it, and he licked his lips at the sight. I felt his large hands on my waist as I swayed against him. I took a long swig of my beer, tilting my head back as I drank. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and then he was kissing it. Then he was kissing me.

* * *

  
Our more fun activities turned out to be really fun. So fun in fact, I was pulled into his truck and driven back to his place. By this point I'm pretty sure my there was more alcohol than blood running through my veins. I'm also fairly sure a sheriff's deputy probably shouldn't be driving right now.   
  
I looked to him and then the road, he seemed to be doing okay but I wondered if I should be sitting where I was right now. People occupying the passenger seat did have a 70 something percent chance of pegging it. And I was probably very likely to die being with someone who was driving under the influence. I shook my head. I didn't care. Most of the time being drunk doesn't mean you don't know what your doing is stupid, when you're drunk you know it's fucking dumb but you do it anyway.   
  
"Baby you're being pretty quiet, you're not changing your mind are you?" Shane looked over at me. I guess I was being pretty quiet, but what were we supposed to talk about. I didn't want to kill the mood but the silence was doing that anyway.  
  
"You know when I was a teenager I saw a kid in health class pull a condom out his nose. Like spaghetti but with a condom." I blurted out. Internally I was screaming.   
  
Shane looked at me and I was about ready to start banging my head on the dash board.   
  
"I'm not actually sure why I said that." I said after a moment. He laughed, but I wasn't sure if it was at me or the awkwardness. "I could talk dirty if you want?" I suggested.  
  
"I'm still thinking about that kid's nose." Shane joked. I rolled my eyes, I should have just kept silent.   
  
"Speaking of condoms, I bet you a blowjob I can put one on with my mouth." I saw the corners of his mouth twitch.  
  
"But if you did that, wouldn't I already be getting one?" He asked, fully grinning.   
  
"True, but if I do it well enough you owe me one." I replied with a flirtations smile. "I'm pretty sure I can do it well enough, though.  
Imagine me running my hands over your body. I'd start with your arms, your chest and then I'd move down. I'd wrap my lips around it."   
  
I saw him swallow, hard. I smirked, it was so easy for me to get him undone like this. Fun, too.   
  
"I'd.."  
  
"Stop!" He cut me off, panting. "You wanna make it home?" He asked.   
  
"What's the matter big boy?" I teased. "Got 'cha all hot and bothered?"  
  
"You know." He said after a minute. "We've talked about what you wanna do with me, but we haven't said anything about what I'm going to do to you."  
  
I gulped. Karma had just hit me hard in the face and suddenly everything I had said to Shane to get him going was gonna come straight back to bite me in the ass. Speaking of bites on the ass...  
  
I noticed we'd pulled up in a driveway. "How about you show me?" I said in a rushed voice, pulling the door handle and shoving the door open. He jumped out and chased me to the porch steps where he grabbed me by the waist and unlocked his door. He thrust me against it and kissed my hungrily, and I turned the doorknob behind me. We fell into his house and he shut the door behind us. I threw my bag at the door by the coat rack and shoe stand. Somewhere on the stairs I'd kicked off my boots and socks and by the bedroom door that I'd been pinned against, my dress zipper was already down. My dress slipped off as I walked backwards into the room. I was in a strapless bra and panties when he threw me onto the bed and undid his belt and slacks. I rose on my knees and leaned forward to help liberate him from his shirt. He tugged it off his arms and threw his wife-beater over his head, I ran a hand down his toned chest, as promised. Sometime between taking his slacks off and sitting beside me on the bed he'd managed to kick off his own shoes and socks and I took that moment to climb atop of him. He hands immediately found their way to my waist and he pulled me close, though not rough enough to hurt me, like I was used to. Once we started kissing again it was hard to pry me off of him, or him from me.   
  
When we finished I was exhausted, more so than I had been in a long time. I fell asleep beside him after he'd pulled out and dropped down beside me. Vaguely I felt him pull me into his arms before I drifted off, and kiss me softly one last time on the shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tea recipe is real and tastes awesome


	5. Armstrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I didn't notice this chapter was missing.

After taking out a few more walkers I ran back up the stairs and grabbed the second half of my stuff only to be stopped by, you guessed it, more walkers. Yippee. After taking out the walkers in the hallway I was beginning to worry about how long my bat was going to last. I ran down the stairs with the rest of my stuff and loaded it into the trunk beside my camping gear which I was going to need a lot more now the world had ended.   
  
I gasped. I had forgotten something I couldn't leave without. I shut the trunk and ran up the stairs into my apartment and dove under the bed. I couldn't leave without this no matter what. There was a little wooden box under my bed which contained sentimental and non essential items. I ran with it back down the stairs and shielded it from oncoming attacks from the infected. My bat was going to be so fucked in a couple of days if I keep using it as much as I do. I'd have to pick up a new one somewhere. I mean I had the metal one but this one does more damage to the brain, which I'd worked out was the best way to kill them.   
  
I jumped inside the car and locked myself inside and tore off out of the apartment building and down the street, nearly smashing through the automatic doors as I went. I suddenly got this chilling feeling that there was something behind me. I screeched to a halt and frantically checked the backseat. There was nothing there but there could have been and I needed to be more careful, make sure to check every time I get in the car, before I lock myself in.   
  
After driving down the road and getting closer to the center of town I realized I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. Turning left I made my way out to the outskirts of town, a quieter area to think. Although it did take me a minute to remember you don't need to use your blinkers in the apocalypse. If fact it was probably a bit counter intuitive as the flashing light would probably attract the infected.   
  
I didn't want to risk being seen and having my car attacked so I parked on one of the hard shoulders of the old road and turned the engine off. I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid down into the small space between my chair and the pedals, hiding under the dashboard. I pulled the map off the passenger side seat and going over it with a fine toothed comb. Don't go to Atlanta Dave had said. It's true it would be over populated and it would only take one person for it to spread throughout the whole city. Half way through the day they'd changed from saying, don't leave the house to, go to Atlanta. The virus had spread so quickly. There was reports on the news that maybe foretold the events of today but I'd paid them no attention.  You never think it's going to happen to you. After long minutes of not coming up with anything I decided to go to the police station. I was fairly familiar with a lot of the county sheriff's department staff through my connections with Rick and my case against Dave. Most of the officers were actually on my side which was nice, seeing as Dave had most of the jury wrapped around his fucking finger.  
  
I also knew that Shane might be there. I knew I hadn't spoken to him in a week or so but I felt safe when he was around. It seems stupid, I hardly know him but if I had to spend the end of the world with anyone it might as well be someone I like.   
  
I wiggled out from my hiding spot and strapped myself back in, pulling off the side of the road and heading towards the police station. It was probably my best bet at the moment. Half of me was still really angry at Shane but at the same time, there is two sides to every story and I shouldn't let my fury cloud my judgement.  
  
With little incident I made it to the King County Sheriff station after the gas station and noticed them pulling the gates shut as I approached. I sped up and charged at the gate. "Hold up!" I called out the window, wishing I hadn't immediately as I had probably just attracted more of the infected with my loudness. One of the officers I recognized saw me and let me in through the gates before he locked them behind me.   
  
"Thanks." I said jumping out of the car and locking it behind me.   
  
"Not a problem," He responded, looking me over.   
  
"Don't worry, I'm not infected." I said feeling as though I knew why he was.   
  
"Didn't think you were." He replied leading me inside. "So what brings you here of all places? Everyone else is evacuating."   
  
"Atlanta is so populated that all it takes one person to bring the whole system down. It's safer away from the big cities. In actuality I came here because I didn't know what to do or where to go. I was hoping I might find Shane here and he'd know something." I told him the truth.  
  
He took me into the break room and offered me a cup of coffee.  
  
"Where is everyone?" I asked. The place was a ghost town.   
  
"We got a little overrun too. Our officers went out to protect the people and most came back infected or not at all. If you get bit or scratched you're a goner. It's game over even if they don't rip you to shreds because if they get you, you turn. You get the fever and it burns you out. There's nothing you can do to stop it and then it's too late, you die and then you come back." He explained.   
  
"You come back?" I scoffed, not believing such a thing possible.   
  
"I know, it sounds like something out of a bad movie. But you'd better believe it sweetheart or you'll end up one of them." A bead of sweat dropped down his forehead and I noticed he did not look too well at all. "In regards to Shane, he went to go to the hospital and get Rick then find Lori and Carl. That was a few hours ago I'm not sure what happened there. I'm sorry Addison."  
  
I shook my head. Damn. "No it's fine. Nothing we can do now." I sipped the hot coffee in my hands.   
  
"I like your bat." Armstrong laughed, looking at my spiky club. "Come on, I'll hook you up with some supplies." he lead me deeper into the station than I'd ever been before. There was a metal cage and inside it was filled top to bottom with guns. He took out a black duffel with Sheriff written on it in white.   
  
"Armstrong?" I asked, watching him load some basics into the bag.   
  
"Yeah?" He responded, not looking up.  
  
"Why are you helping me and giving me your supplies?" I watched him as he turned around to face me, a hand traveling behind me to my concealed Smith & Weston.   
  
He looked at me and sighed. He took a step towards me and I took a step back. He put up a hand towards me to calm me, although I was still wary of him. He began rolling up his sleeve to reveal a wound wrapped in white bandages with blood seeping through.   
  
"I got bit." He explained. "I haven't got long myself, but you? You've got a while yet at least, if you play your cards right."   
  
I relaxed a little and let my hand drop back down to my side. "That explains the sweating, you've got the fever."  
  
He nodded at me and then went back to loading my bag with extra ammo and the basic necessities like a shotgun, rifle, something long with a scope. I didn't have much knowledge on guns having mostly grown up in Australia. In Australia there is a prohibition of sorts on guns and not many have experience with them. Police officers are permitted to carry a handgun on their possession but the general public are not allowed any automatic weapons and only allowed guns that could be used for hunting. But you had to get a permit for that and generally we didn't have much use for them.   
  
"The scope is accurate on that one," he explained to me.   
  
"Armstrong I don't even know what that is, I've never shot one before, never held one."   
  
"Well you're gonna learn real quick." He replied, coming over to me and giving me a quick rundown on how to fire, release the safety, etc. etc.   
  
Back in the break room he gave me some more food to add to my supplies and I put it in the bag. My coffee was now cold but I didn't care, I wasn't really sure what to do but it probably wasn't safe to stay here by myself and Armstrong wouldn't be much company once he dies and tried to tear the flesh from my body.   
  
"I have to find Shane." I blurted out suddenly, breaking the silence.   
  
"Yeah I was aware you two had a thing. I know he was taking the Grimes to Atlanta and they've most likely left by now. You could always try their house if you wanted, but I recommend making sure wherever you go you make sure you can either get back in time or find shelter by sunset and don't go anywhere at night." Armstrong seemed to know a lot about surviving shame he'd gotten bit. I wouldn't have minded teaming up with him.   
  
"It's probably too late to do anything today, if they were going anywhere they've already left and I don't want to be chasing ghosts. It's probably safer to set up here and move on tomorrow." I said after a while.   
  


* * *

  
Armstrong spent the night trying to prepare me as much as he could for the world ahead and I couldn't help but find it a little suspicious that he was doing all this but for now I just took it as a dying man trying to do what he could for the living. He got me a spare CB Radio and some batteries for it so I could communicate with other survivors later and then we sat down for the night. I was eating a tin of spaghetti with a spoon when I realized I was getting tired.  
  
Armstrong made me cuff him to the furniture across the room as I was getting ready for bed. It was a smart request, and I wasn't arguing with him. I was tucked up on the couch under a blanket he'd found me earlier.   
  
"Why are you trying to find Shane so badly?" Armstrong asked me from his spot next to the radiator.   
  
"I've got something to tell him. I've been trying to tell him for a while now and I'm not going to spend the end of days doing this alone.  
I've already lost John, I don't want to lose anyone else." I explained placing an arm over my eyes.   
  
"So it's true then." He surmised.   
  
"Yeah it's true..."


	6. Primal Urges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are under 16 you should not read this chapter. It contains gross adult stuff you are not ready for. Skip ahead to the next chapter or kindly buzz off. Always use protection

I awoke maybe around 2 in the morning and I untangled myself from Shane's sleeping grasp. I sat up and stretched, hearing my shoulders make a familiar crack and pop. I felt the bed shift beneath me and saw movement behind me.   
  
"Ready for round two?" He asked, stretching also.   
  
"Round two?" I asked, raising a brow and remembering having my legs over his shoulders just a little while ago. I turned to face him and crawled towards him. "Well I would be delighted to oblige. " I reached him and kissed him softly, his hands met my shoulders and rubbed circles on them. I was actually about to slip away in the night but since that had been the best sex I'd had in a long time I wouldn't say no to going again. He picked me up and placed me in his lap while we kissed, more passionately now. Moments later I was whisked off the bed and carried over to the wall which I was pressed up against, him holding me off the ground with my legs wrapped around his waist. He held my hips as he dropped me down on his member. I grunted, I wasn't as lubed up as I was before so it hurt a little. I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him more, he tucked his arm under me and went down to my folds with his other hand. He rubbed tender circles on my clit as he pressed his lips to mine, battling against my tongue with his own. I felt him get my juices going again before he removed his hand and held on to both of my hips. I ran my hands over his shoulders as he thrust into me and grunted, breathing heavily. I let out a loud groan as he hit the right spot and I felt his grin through the kiss. He broke apart our faces and moved to my neck, trying to find my sweet spot again. Once he found it he heard me let out another cry of passion. He thrust faster as he kissed and nipped at my neck, the friction down below. I tried to start kissing him again and he refused.  
  
"Just let me do the work sweetheart. All you need to do is scream." He started kissing across my collar bone and down parts of my chest, keeping his fast pace. I did want to kiss him more but as he sped up a little it was hard to do anything but comply with his request. I let out an actual scream and this pleased him greatly.   
  
"That's it baby, scream for me." I let out a moan of bliss and just as he thrust in again my legs started to shake. "It's okay baby, let it go. Come for me, just come for me."   
  
It wasn't long after he said that, that I was coming for him. Again. I leaned my head back against the wall and panted. My body glistened with sweat in the pale moonlight and he leaned his head against my chest. I noticed he hadn't released yet and once he'd rested for a moment I started pushing his shoulders, trying to get him to go back towards the bed. He dropped me down on the mattress and was on his knees behind me and held my hips, ready to go into me doggy style.   
  
"You must really like to hear me scream." I said a little breathless. I turned to face him. "Let me take a little control. Trust me, I can get you there." I sat in his lap and pushed him down towards the headboard. His head hit the pillow and I pinned him down by his shoulders. I think he was a little surprised by my strength but not for long as I had dropped myself back down on his member, and leaned down to kiss him. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip as I started dropping myself down hard on his penis, lifting myself back up again and sliding along his shaft. I released him from my hold and allowed him to sit up, he brought his arms around me and held by back as I slammed myself onto him. I felt him groan a primal groan into my mouth as we fulfilled our very primal urges. He rolled his hips into mine and I let out a gasp and a moan as I was now able to reach my g-spot with his member. With our bodies grinding against each other and the friction satisfying us I let out another moan as we both came again, hard.   
  
Gasping for breath I leaned my forehead against his and he dropped his arms. "Baby you sure know what you're doing." He said after a moment. I let out a soft, out of breath, laugh and leaned back a bit, dismounting and laying down on the bed beside him. He pulled me into his arms again.   
  


* * *

  
When I woke up again it was 7am and I could hear birds chirping somewhere outside. I was still wrapped tightly in Shane's arms and feeling better rested than I had been in a long time. It seems going to that bar last night was a pretty good decision on my part. I smiled and then rolled over on my side, shimmying closer to Shane's sleeping form. He shifted behind me and kissed my shoulder. Apparently he wasn't as asleep as I'd thought. I looked at the clock and read the time. 7:15.   
  
"Shit." I exclaimed.   
  
"What?" Shane asked both interested and tired.   
  
"I was supposed to be at work over an hour ago." I groaned rubbing my forehead.   
  
"Don't go." He replied simply. "Problem solved."   
  
I shifted to get out of bed and his hold on me tightened. "I at least need to call in, Shane." reluctantly he released me and I sat up. One of his hands was in the drawer beside his bed.   
  
"Here." he said practically throwing a t-shit and pair of boxers at me. He rubbed his face into the pillow trying to get back to sleep and I laughed. I tugged on the baggy clothing he'd given me and slipped out of the room, walking across the cold floor. It wouldn't stay that for long, today was supposed to be a scorcher.  
  
I headed downstairs to where I'd left my handbag the night before, picking up my shoes and socks as I went. I put my boots on the doormat in the hallway and tucked my socks inside them. Searching my handbag for my phone I noticed a missed call from my boss, Mike's brother, Ashley. Shit. I was so boned.   
  
He'd left a message so I typed in the number and listened to it. "Hey Addie, it's Ash. Call me when you get this." Well that was worth listening to. I pressed redial and anxiously waited for his answer.   
  
"Hello?" I heard Ash's tired and almost groggy response.   
  
"Yeah, hey Ash it's me Addie."   
  
"Addison? Oh yeah I rang you earlier."  
  
"Yeah you did. Hey I'm really sorry I had a long night last night and I overslept I am so sorry." I ran a hand through my hair.   
  
"Don't worry about it Addie. I was calling to tell you the site's closed for inspection today. They come at 9 and will be there most of the day. We wouldn't be able to start up until about 2 so we gave everyone the day off. It's too hot today to work anyway." Ash explained still sounding like he'd just woken up. Mike was pretty chill but Ash was the most casual and relaxed. How he was the big boss I'll never know.   
  
"Oh, okay. Hey I'm sorry if I woke you up. You sound tired."   
  
"Yeah I also had a bit of a long night. Decided to get some shut eye."  
  
"Oh, now I'm really sorry. I'll let you get back to it. Thanks Ash."  
  
"Don't mention it." He replied and ended the call.   
  
Well, at least I don't have to go to work. I stretched and headed back to bed. I never normally stayed the night with anyone, so this was new. I walked back up the stairs and climbed back in bed beside Shane, who upon my arrival, wrapped his arms back around me. It didn't take me long to fall back asleep and I honestly felt like I didn't want this moment to end. 

* * *

The next time I woke up Shane was gone from the bed and all our clothes were off of the floor. Mine had been folded up and put on the nightstand next to me and I assumed Shane's were in the hamper by the bathroom. I ran my hands through my hair and tousled it a little. I sat up and climbed down the stairs again and headed to the kitchen where I could hear movement.   
  
"Morning." Shane called over his shoulder. How he knew I was there I will never know. I sat on one of the stools by the counter. Resting my chin on my palm as I watched him doing whatever it was that he was doing.   
  
"I haven't slept like that in ages." I commented. "Don't you have work?" I asked, noting the time on the wall clock.   
  
"I don't work on Thursdays." He responded. "And I'm not surprised you slept so much after a workout like that." He grinned.   
  
"Oh yeah?" I raised a brow.   
  
"Yeah." He stopped for a moment and then smirked. "By the way, you snore."   
  
"What?" I shook my head. "No way."  
  
"Way. You snore like a puppy dog." He laughed.  
  
"I hate you." I pouted.   
  
"You won't be saying that in a minute," he replied, turning around and grabbing two plates from the cupboard. "How do you take your coffee?"   
  
"Two sugars and cinnamon." I replied.   
  
"Cinnamon? You're a fruitcake." He turned to look at me before he went through his cupboards looking for some cinnamon and handed it to me to put in my cup.  
  
"You take milk?" He put the jug on the counter next to me. "Hope you like bacon and eggs."   
  
"Are you kidding me. I bet you ten whole dollars that I could eat my body weight in bacon." I replied watching him stack up the plates and walk over to the table, where I followed him, admiring his shirtless form. "And thanks for breakfast, I wasn't expecting it."  
  
"You were expecting to slip away in the night, right?" He responded, looking up from his plate.   
  
"I'm never good at the morning after." I said honestly, trying not to talk with my mouthful. "The awkward coffee talk or shrugging my clothes on and doing the walk of shame. Or waking up and not really remembering where I am, saying goodbye to someone I really liked. It's easier if you just skip all of that."  
  
"Will I be one of those goodbyes?" He asked not looking up at me this time.  
  
"This goodbye doesn't have to be forever. Truth is I wouldn't mind seeing you again, no matter what the circumstances."  
  


* * *

  
"You sure you don't want me to drive you?" Shane asked standing in his doorway. He was leaning against the frame and still refusing to wear his shirt. But at least he'd showered today, I made sure of that. After breakfast he'd carried me up the stairs and we'd showered together, him destroying what was left of my straightened hair, it turning back to a wavy mess.   
  
"No, I've got a few stops to make along the way." I smiled, pulling my blonde hair up into a ponytail.    
  
"And you've got my number, right?" He asked leaning out to kiss my cheek.   
  
"Yeah I do. I'll be sure to call you." I walked down the front steps and headed out into town again, hoping that any of the random strangers about didn't realize I was wearing yesterday's clothing.   
  
I got down past the park when I realized something and almost sent myself flying face down into the dirt. I'd slept with Shane more than three times last night and I don't remember using a condom once that night.   
  
"Shit." I said out loud, receiving a dirty look from an old lady as she passed.   
I ran my hands through my fringe and tried to regulate my breathing. I was standing hunched over in the park, holding my head and almost crying. I dropped down to my knees and rested my head down on them, sobbing uncontrollable sobs. I'm not sure how long I lay there before I heard a gruff but gentle southern voice call out to me.  
  
"Ma'am?" The voice sounded familiar to me. "Ma'am are you alright?"   
  
I looked up to meet the familiar blue eyes, worried and searching me for injuries. "Rick." I choked out.   
  
"Addison." He walked over to me cautiously. "Are you hurt?"  
  
I shook my head and he knelt down beside me. "Rick I've done something really stupid. I don't know what to do."   
  
"What have you done Addison?" He asked trying to get me off of the ground. When I didn't respond he asked me again. "Addison, what have you done?" He asked more firmly.   
  
"I need to talk to Lori." I said eventually.   
  
"Is this about Carl?" He asked panicked. I shook my head in response. He relaxed almost instantly and breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
"She would know what to do." I sobbed. He helped me up off the ground and wrapped his arms around me.   
  
"You're okay Addison. Everything will be okay." He soothed and stroked my hair. He opened the back door to his police cruiser and helped me inside. Armstrong smiled kindly at me from the passenger seat while Rick drove me over to their family home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously always use protection. And by the way, a sock is not protection. Neither is glad wrap or a plastic bag. Seriously you can get a condom from almost any bathroom for like a dollar from a vending machine. USE PROTECTION


	7. Old Quarry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You see this wouldn't have happened if you'd have wrapped it before you tapped it.

"I'm pregnant." I told Armstrong. "And Shane's the father."   
  
"I thought so. Just before Rick got shot and we picked you up off the side of the road, Shane mentioned something about meeting this girl at a bar. And then he started asking for your file at the station. And Rick might have suspected something about that being the 'stupid' thing you'd done. Everyone was really preoccupied with the shooting to really spare any thought to anything else." Armstrong explained.   
  
"I know, I remember babysitting Carl for Lori while she was at the hospital." I nodded my head and kept my eyes covered, not knowing what to do. I spend most of my life not knowing what to do. "So have you always known?"  
  
"I've suspected all this time, but you only just confirmed it now." He replied. "You know, if things hadn't worked out with Shane, I'd have taken care of you. All of us down the station would have."  
  
"Thanks," I replied. I yawned tiredly. I don't remember feeling this stressed when I found out I was having John. I'd just finished high school and David had just gotten some office job somewhere, I don't even remember and when I told him, he wasn't mad. He held me in his arms and told me we were going to be so happy together. I remember that moment and thinking that I had everything, feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world. It wasn't until after John was born that things went south. David was just another person.   
  


* * *

  
I woke up with the sun and the birds chirping like nothing had happened. But if nothing had happened I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch in the Sheriff station. I sighed and took my arm off my eyes and squinted in the morning light.   
  
"Armstrong?" I called out.   
  
"Yeah?" He replied.   
  
"You're alive?!" I asked surprised, I was sure he'd turn in the night.   
  
"I'm as surprised as you are." He said after a moment. I got up for the day and uncuffed him from the radiator. I made sure I had everything and Armstrong helped me carry my things outside. He covered my back while I loaded up the Wrangler and prepped to go.  
  
"You got everything?" he asked when I rechecked everything.  
  
"I should do." I replied. "Are you sure you want me to just leave you here?" I asked after a moment. "Armstrong?" There was no reply.  
  
"Armstrong?" I asked turning around hearing a hiss and a growl.   
  
I gasped and stepped back. "Oh Armstrong I'm so sorry." I said pulling out my Ruger from it's holster inside my jacket. I flicked off the safety and pulled the trigger. To hell with the noise, this was mercy. His body fell backwards, almost in slow motion and hit the ground with a thump. "Good bye Armstrong." 

* * *

  
I unlocked the gate and drove out of the lot, going straight to Lori and Carl's house, wondering if they left any sign of where they were going. The trip was uneventful and I felt even more lost. I got there and all the photos were gone, the drawers where empty and so were the cupboards. I sighed. "Well, there goes that plan."   
  
I turned and came face to face with a young teenager 13 maybe 14 years old. "Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed, my accent coming out more so than ever.   
  
"Actually my name's Duane." the kid in front of me joked.   
  
"Duane! Who are you talking to?" An older voice called from outside.   
  
"My name's Addison, Addison West. I didn't realize anyone else was here." I called out so the guy coming through the door wouldn't shoot me.   
  
"What are you doing here Addison West?" The man asked.   
  
"I used to baby sit the little boy who lived here. I was looking to see if the family was still here." I replied honestly.   
  
"Well they're not." He responded.   
  
"I see that. I was actually just leaving now, but if you find anyone with the surname Grimes floating about, tell them I was looking." I made my way to the door before I got my brains blown out. The kid was alright but the dad seemed kind of action man, shoot first ask questions later type of guy.   
  


* * *

  
I'd hopped on into my jeep and driven out to the highway to check things out. I wasn't headed for Atlanta, just hoping to take some back roads and get the hell out of here. I could head up to Fort Benning maybe. Or just get the hell out of Georgia. I drove on the opposite side of the road as the highway was gridlocked with empty cars. "Holy shit." I looked at all the cars around and decided to pull off onto the closest back road. I pulled out the CB and started tuning it to the emergency broadcast channel.   
  
"Civilian broadcasting on emergency broadcast channel. I am approaching Atlanta on Highway 85. Does anyone read? Over." I sent out the call, I'm not sure if it was necessary to mention I was a civilian but whatever. "I have left King County and am on the 85 Highway, does anybody read?"   
  
"...Emergency broadcast... we read you...do not go to Atlanta...city dangerous." a crackling voice came over the CB.  
  
"I am not reading you clearly. There seems to be some interference. I'm not going into Atlanta. I was going to get one some back roads and continue on to Fort Benning but the highway is blocked. Over" I responded to the warning against Atlanta.  
"camp...off the highway...quarry...meet at old quarry turn off." The quarry??  
  
"Message received, ETA for the turnoff 13 hundred hours. Over." I waited a moment to see if I'd get a response but I heard nothing. I turned back towards the highway and drove along the wrong side of the road again until I reached the old quarry. I saw a few men moving some vehicles out of the way and a familiar truck waiting by the turnoff.   
  
I pulled up beside one of the men, a Korean looking guy. "Yo, you the dude from the radio?" I called out the window at him.  
  
"Not personally, but yeah, we're from the same group. We're up this way." He replied and jumped into the truck along with the other men. I followed them down the dirt road and parked a few meters behind them. I grabbed my spiky bat and jumped from the side of the jeep, locking the door and I closed it.   
  
"You're back," A blonde female commented as she came up to the group of men.   
  
"Yeah, she wasn't hard to find." The Korean man replied gesturing to me. "Yo new girl, come meet everyone." Reluctantly I walked closer to him and followed along with them until we came across a group by the campfire.   
  
"Everyone, this is..." The Korean man started, I was about to introduce myself when I heard a small voice scream my name.  
  
"ADDIE!!!!" A pale, freckled boy with dark hair charged at me and I dropped my bat, crouching down and spreading my arms wide. Carl dove on me so hard I was knocked off my feet and I landed in the dirt.   
  
"Hey Carl." I smiled hugging him tightly and kissing him on the head.   
  
"Addison?" I heard Lori's voice from behind Carl and looked up.   
  
"Hey Lori." I smiled. When Carl finally released me I stood up, dusted myself off and introduced myself to the rest of the group. "Hey y'all I'm Addison." I rested my hands on my head and took a deep breath.   
  
"I'm Glenn." The Korean man from before introduced himself. "And this is Carol, Amy, Andrea..." He went on a long tour of introducing everyone to me and most of which I didn't really care about. To be perfectly honest I only really cared about Carl and Lori. They were my family now, they have been for a while.   
  
"Did y'all find that radio caller?" A familiar voice asked in the southern drawl I was used to in these parts. I turned around to face the voice and met eyes with none other than Shane Walsh. And although I had been looking for him all this time, seeing him face to face reignited the rage I felt for him. Just looking at his stupid face made me so angry I was about to burst.   
  
"Addison.." He breathed, looking at me with a look I couldn't describe. It was like he'd been missing me for years and I'd just shown up out of the blue. I was about ready to punch the sucker now so I did all I could. Turned around and walked away. Coward's Punch, heroes walk away. That was the old saying wasn't it? There were these ads on the tv when I was younger to try and reduce the amount of pub fights and king hits. They renamed the king hit to the coward's punch.   
  
"Addison what the hell?" He called as I spun around on my heel and stormed away, back to my jeep. I'd gotten to behind the Wrangler and I put my head down on the hatch, feeling the hot glass burn my skin. I tugged off my red jacket and put my hands on head. I breathed deeply and tried to calm myself down.   
  
"Addison come back here." Shane demanded, grabbing my arm. "What the hell?" He asked, looking at me like he didn't know why I was pissed.   
  
All the rage I'd been trying to suppress came out and I swung at him, hitting him square in the jaw. "You asshole!" I screamed loud enough for the entire camp to hear. Two other men who I hadn't met yet stood behind Shane and the older one was chuckling.   
  
"Well, well, look 'ere. Sweetcheeks and J I Joe r already fightin'."  
  
"Fuck off Merle." Shane said without turning his head. He was too busy staring me down trying to work out why the hell I'd just punched him in the face.   
  
"ain't goin' anywhere. Not when you're puttin' on such a show." He replied. I rolled my eyes and pointed my bat at him. He eyed the bloody nails poking out of it.   
  
"Back the hell off asswipe." I growled.   
  
"Whatever you say sweetcheeks." He put his hands up in surrender and he and the other man walked off.   
  
"Why the hell did you just punch me in the face just now?" Shane raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer looking pissed.   
  
"You abandoned me when I needed you you fucking jerk!" I yelled in a hushed tone so no one could eavesdrop.   
  
"If this is about me getting Lori and Carl out and not you then.." he started but I cut him off.   
  
"This is not about that! That wasn't your fault." I hissed. "I'm talking about after we slept together and you made sure I had your number and then you stood me up for dinner and ignored my calls and ignored me all together. I'm talking about when you forgot I existed. I know what happened with Rick was hard on you because it was hard on me too, he was my friend and my family. But I needed you and you just left me on my own."  
  
He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him.  
  
"No," I cut him off. "It's my turn to speak. You lead me on, you could have just slept me and then that would have been it. Like I wanted." I said. "But no, you had to make me stay, you had to make me think you cared, you had to make me feel safe and happy and like everything was going to be okay. You walked into my life, made me care and then you just cut me off. You don't get to do that. You don't get to do that and the next time I see you pretend nothing happened."  I turned around and walked around the jeep, sitting on the hood and taking a deep breath, trying not to cry. I was done crying over him and I was done crying.   
  
"You alright?" Lori asked, sitting up beside me.   
  
"I had to get that out. I'd been so mad at him for so long that I was going to explode. He just cut me off." I ran my hand through my hair. Lori put an arm around me and rubbed my shoulder. She'd always been like an older sister to me since I'd met her. "Maybe I shouldn't have lost it at him, punched him in the face but he really hurt me Lori."   
  
"I know baby." She patted my back. "Come on now, let's find you someplace to sleep." She jumped off the hood.  
  
"Actually I brought my own tent." I replied following her.   
  
"You want help setting it up?" Glenn asked, popping up from nowhere.   
  
"Sure, I don't see why not." I lead him back to the hatch of my jeep. I popped the trunk and I looked at him. "I was in shock when I packed most of this so I don't know how much is useful." I explained as he looked at the mattress topper. He just laughed and helped me haul the heavy tent bag out of the car. 


	8. Just three weeks

Lori was surprised to see me, especially in my current state, but she welcomed me inside handing me a glass of water while I hugged one of the decorative pillows from the couch.   
  
"What do you mean you just found her on the side of the road?" Lori asked in a hushed voice.   
  
"She was curled up on the ground and crying. She kept asking to see you, said you'd know what to do. She doesn't seem to be injured, just in shock. She keeps repeating over and over that she'd done something really stupid and that's all I can get out of her." I heard Rick explain, fiddling with his hat in his hands.    
  
"Okay." She said after a moment. "Let me talk to her, I'll call you later." Rick gave her a nod and put his had back on, heading out the door.   
  
"You gonna tell me what's wrong baby?" Lori sat down on the coffee table in front of me.   
  
"Lori I was so stupid." I started sobbing in front of her.   


* * *

  
"Well you won't know for three weeks from now baby. It can take up to 5 days after having sex to get pregnant and then you won't know for two weeks after that, so, that gives you two options. One, the morning after pill. Take that and you won't have to worry anymore. Or two, you do nothing, you wait three weeks and you decided what you want then. Personally I think you should wait, that gives you three weeks to decide what you want to do." Lori explained calmly after listening to me cry my heart out.  
  
"Lori I want this baby but I don't think I can do it by myself." I explained, a little calmer.   
  
"Then you need to talk to this guy. Find him and tell him that you might be pregnant. And you're going to have to make a go of it." Lori told me. I wonder if she'd be mad if she found out who it was that I met in the bar.   
  
"But.."  
  
"Addison do you know who this guy is?" Lori cut me off.  
  
"Yeah, it's just... He's a good guy I just don't know if I want to tell him just yet. I mean what if I got to know him and made a go of things without the pressure of a maybe baby?" I asked.  
  
"You'll have to tell him eventually, you can't keep this sort of thing from someone. The longer you keep it to yourself makes it look like you were hiding it from them. You don't want that."   


* * *

  
Eventually I decided to wait three weeks to see if I was pregnant and try and make a go of things with Shane, tell him when I knew for sure. We could decide what to do together. Half way through the second week I knew for sure and I hadn't seen Shane in a while, him not answering my calls. I got a call from Lori a few days after I told her about my pregnancy scare and she asked me to come to the hospital and take Carl home.  
  
"Ma'am can I help you?" A receptionist behind the desk in ICU asked as I tried to walk past her and go straight to the room that Lori told me they were in.   
  
"No I'm all good." I replied and continued to rush down the hallway to find them.  
  
"Ma'am you can't go down there." She called but I ignored her, running up to where Carl and Lori were sitting in some hard plastic chairs.   
  
"Lori." I breathed, a little out of breath from running all the way here and attempting to dodge the receptionists.   
  
"Addison, thank god you're here." She replied. I could see that she and Carl had both been crying.   
  
"What happened?" I asked, looking them over. '  
  
"My dad was shot." Carl said with a cracking voice. I knelt down in front of his chair. I looked at him and ruffled his hair affectionately.   
  
"Don't worry little bug, I'm sure he'll be fine. All the doctors and nurses here spent a long time studying and practicing very hard so they're experts now. They won't let your daddy die." I tried to sooth. He jumped off the chair and threw his arms around me. He started crying again, into my shoulder and held me tightly. I held him just as tightly and rubbed his back.   
  
"It's okay munchkin, let it all out." I patted him softly on the back and cradled his head.  
  
Once Carl had composed himself and stopped crying as much Lori had me take him home and get him ready for bed. She said she'd stay here for the night make sure everything was kosher.   
  
"You don't have to worry Lori, I can look after him for as long as it takes, I've got no jobs on this week." I explained.   
  
"I'll pay you for your time." Lori started but I turned to face her again.   
  
"Don't you even think about it." I replied, almost snapping at her. "This is no time for you to be thinking about that crap. I'll look after him as long as you need, **without charge.** " I wasn't going to charge her for needing to be with her husband after he'd been shot.   
  
"Lori Grimes?" A woman in green scrubs came running out towards us. "Your husband needs a blood transfusion. Do you know his blood type?"  
  
"A positive, same as Carl's." Lori commented. The woman in scrubs nodded and turned around headed away. What she said sparked a thought in my mind.   
  
"Lori, that's my blood type." I said turning to her once again. "If you need..."  
  
"No I'm sure we'll be fine." She breathed, like she'd had the wind knocked out of her. "Thank you though."  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked her and she nodded.   
  
I turned around and a little further down the hallway was Shane Walsh holding two cardboard cups of hospital coffee and looking at me gobsmacked. "Addison? What are you doing here?"   
  
"Lori called me, wanted me to take Carl home." I explained. I hadn't seen him since his house.   
  
"I wasn't aware you knew 'em." He replied, walking closer and handed Lori her cup.  
  
"She's been babysitting Carl since he was 10." Lori clarified for me. "It's getting late and I don't want him hanging around here, worrying."   
  
"I could've taken him home." Shane commented. Rude. His whole attitude towards my presence made me feel like he didn't want me here. Asshole. I'm doing my job. I didn't realize it was your fucking job to shack up with the deputy's wife as soon as he gets shot.   
  
Okay so maybe that wasn't what was happening but I had just as much right to be here as he did. Carl had stayed close to me as soon as I had arrived and was holding onto me while I talked to Shane.   
  
"Yeah, well she called me." I said bluntly. "Come on Carl, let's get you home." I didn't give him time to reply as I scooped the boy up and carried him on my hip to the car. I know he was 12 and a bit old do be carried the way I did but he was going through a hard time right now and he wasn't that heavy.   
  
I know my strength certainly shocked my coworkers on my first few days in the construction company. But Mike and Ashley liked me so I was always employed when I came in looking for a day labor. Then they put me on the payroll so I always get a call when we have a job. I drove back to my place to grab an overnight bag and shoved a few things inside. While I was packing Carl sat by me on the bed, swinging his legs.   
  
"Who's that in the photo?" He asked after a while, pointing at the frame on the bedside table.   
  
"That's my ex husband and my grandparents." I explained. It was just after I'd graduated high school in the pizza parlor on main street that closed down a few years ago. We'd gone there because the graduation was long and tedious and the food wasn't all that great. We skipped the after party and went out for pizza instead.   
  
"Do you still love him?" Carl asked. To be honest I don't think I ever loved him but I wasn't going to tell that to a child.  
  
"Not anymore sweetie." I replied.  
  
"Is that why you broke up? Because you didn't love each other?" Carl asked me looking at me with pleading eyes.  
  
"Baby what's this about?" I sat next to him on the bed and put an arm around him.  
  
"Before I went to school today my mom said to my dad 'sometimes I wonder if you even care about us as all'. They still love each other right? They're not going to break up are they?" Carl started to cry again. I held him closer and stoked his hair.   
  
"Of course they still love each other Carl. Didn't you see how worried your mama was today? Listen to me now baby, you're dad's going to get better and come home and your mom and your daddy are going to stay together and be happy. Trust me, they really love each other." I couldn't be sure if they really did love each other though. I knew Rick loved Lori but I never knew if she felt the same. They were married, it was assumed.   
  
"Really?" He looked up at me.  
  
"Of course. Nothing on this earth will separate your dad from you mom. They love each other. And when you love someone, and you fight for it, you can make it happen." I told him, beginning to sound like a script from a Disney movie. I finished packing my things and I got a message from Lori asking me to keep Carl off school the next day. She didn't want him worrying all day at school, not being able to concentrate, the impending demise of his father running through his head.   
  
I hadn't seen my parents since middle school, I couldn't even imagine how Carl was feeling not knowing if his daddy was going to live or die. I finished packing my stuff and took Carl back to his parents house. He couldn't get settled so I sat with him on the couch after changing into my pjs and watched a SpongeBob marathon on Netflix. He sat leaning on me under a blanket until he fell asleep.  


* * *

  
The sun hadn't fully risen and the light around the house was grey. I'd woken up to someone flicking off the TV and walking the opposite of quietly into the kitchen. I though Lori might have been back but I noticed it was a man with dark hair. In my tired state I just pretended to go back to sleep. If it was a burglar he wouldn't have turned off the tv and started making coffee. I heard someone on the stairs and come into the living room. The walked away and two sets of footsteps returned.   
  
"Shane, look. Isn't that so sweet?" I heard a Lori sounding whisper.   
  
I opened my eyes a fraction just in time so see Shane smile and nod before going back to the kitchen to make coffee. I could smell the coffee now and it made me starving. To awkward to move I pretended to -or actually was, I'm not sure- be asleep until someone put a mug of coffee on the coffee table and I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking it lightly.   
  
I opened my eyes and it was a lot lighter outside. I sat up carefully, avoiding waking up Carl and looked over at the person who'd awoken me. It was Shane who was now in a fresh set of clothing. I think he might have had time to go home and change in the time I was pretending to be asleep. It certainly seemed a lot later in the morning and felt like I'd been out more then a few minutes.   
  
"Hey." I said groggily, in a hoarse voice.   
  
"Morning sunshine." He smiled, sipping his own beverage. I put a hand to my head and yawned, stretching out at the same time. Then I ran my hands over my face and checked the clock.   
  
"Already 9 huh?" I asked rhetorically. "What time did you guys get back from the hospital?"   
  
"About 5:30. Lori's in bed still, trying to catch up on some sleep before she goes back." Shane started. "I said I'd look after Carl today if you wanted to go home or to work or whatever."   
  
"No, no. That's kind but I'll stay. I promised Carl I would." I replied, turning him down. "Sorry about being snippy last night." I said after a moment. I took a sip of my coffee and smiled at the taste; he remembered the cinnamon.   
  
He nodded and went back into the kitchen, clattering around. I swear Shane had no idea how to be quiet and I hoped there was never a stealth situation he encountered because he was guaranteed to fuck it up somehow. A little later he was putting plates on the table in the dining room and he asked me to get Carl up. I shook the boy who was resting on me awake and followed him through to the dining room.   
  
"Pancakes, huh?" I leaned on the doorframe.   
  
"You surprised I know how to cook?" He smirked, sitting down beside Carl.   
  
"I'm surprised you can cook anything besides bacon & eggs and steak, yes." I replied eating one of the pieces of strawberry. A little while into breakfast Lori came down the stairs in fresh clothes.   
  
"Pancakes, huh?" She commented, sitting down beside me.   
  
"Why is everyone so damn surprised I can cook?" He exclaimed. Lori, Carl and I all laughed as he chewed his fist.   
  
Lori went back to the hospital after breakfast and Shane stayed with me all day looking after Carl. Lori came back that evening to us eating spaghetti and Carl covered in pasta sauce. I'd helped Carl with his homework a little but we didn't do too much because I didn't want to stress him out. 


	9. Small hands

Even though this was a new tent that I hadn't put up before, with my previous experience and Glenn's help, we had it up in no time. I went back to the trunk and he followed, keen to help me some more.   
  
"You need help with anything else?" He asked when I stopped and looked at him.  
  
"You have a collective group storage of food or something?" I asked, he nodded and explained where everything was kept. I emptied my personal items out of the main bag I was carrying and put the food from the sheriff's bag into it. "You want to carry this one while I get the water?" I asked, figuring that the cans would be heavier and I didn't want to overdo myself.   
  
"No don't push yourself, water's heavy. I'll get Morales and Shane to help out." Glenn shook his hand from left to right when the thought of me carrying the water by myself came up.  
  
"I don't think it'll take three people to carry all this water." I replied.   
  
"No but me and Morales will get the water and Shane can grab the food while you finish unpacking." Well if he's set on doing the work for me then fine. He went off to go and get help and in the meantime the woman known as Carol came up and stated making idle conversation.   
  
"So what'd you do before all of this?" She asked, leaning up on the side of the open wrangler.   
  
"Construction." I replied. "You?"  
  
"Housewife." Came her response, seeming almost ashamed or like she was feeling inadequate.   
  
"My mom was a housewife." I started, trying to make herself feel better. "But I wasn't really cut out for it, I got bored with the day to day real easy so my husband at the time suggested I find myself a job, keep busy. Construction was what I was good at and it payed well so Dave was pretty happy he didn't have to put in as long hours at the office."  
  
"At the time?" She asked, picking up on the face I wasn't married to Dave anymore. "You marry again?"   
  
"No, nothing like that. We were together for 10 years. But after 8 years of marriage it started to feel like we weren't the same people we used to be. We'd changed, me for the better, him for the worst. I had become more confident and less submissive and him, well, let's not go into that." I explained and she nodded.   
  
"Ever think of having children?" She asked. My heart chose that moment to start aching. At this moment I chose not to tell her, she was nice but I didn't really want her pity, or judgement.   
  
"I thought about it a fair bit." Haha. If only she knew. "But children with David is a bad combination." Just as I finished I noticed Glenn had chosen that moment to return.   
  
"Who's David?" Glenn asked, pushing his red baseball cap up a bit.   
  
"My ex husband." I told him tucking some of the things I'd taken out of the food bag into another.   
  
"What, he die?" He asked noticing the face I'd put on when mentioning him.   
  
"I hope so." I blurted out without thinking. Carol, Glenn and the newly arrived Morales were taken aback but Shane just laughed from behind me. He went to grab the food bag but stopped when he saw the Sheriff's bag.   
  
"You swing by the Sheriff Station?" He gave me a pointed look.   
  
"Yeah. I shot Armstrong." I replied, not liking the look he was giving me. "I spent my first night at the station with him, he got bit earlier that day. He turned when I was packing up the next day. Shot him."   
  
"He give you these?" Shane asked.   
  
"Yeah and the CB. He said the scope's accurate on that one but I didn't check." I replied. I hope he didn't pick up on the fact I was calling it that one and not whatever the hell it was because I didn't want to let on I knew nothing.   
  
Shane nodded and picked up the food bag, headed to wherever it was they were keeping the food. I hadn't been listening when Glenn told me. My tools were next to the bag of guns and I placed my bag of weapons next to it.   
  
"Whoo ee. Girl's got 'n armory in her jeep." Merle admired, coming closer to inspect it. He was met with a familiar situation like before, my bat and nails in his face.   
  
"Back off Merle." I bit, hoping he'd fuck off and I wouldn't have to hit him.  
  
"Why do ya keep threatnin' ma brother?" the other guy from before asked, joining us. Great, another redneck.   
  
"What, you want me to threaten you instead?" I asked, leaning towards him, my face right up at him.   
  
"No." He replied. "I want to get yor stupid face outta mine."  
  
"Haven't spent much time looking in the mirror, have ya, asshole?" I replied. "Your face is plenty stupider than mine."   
  
"Alright y'all, you both have stupid faces. Can we wrap this up?" Shane had come back with Glenn. I shot Shane a glare and was met with a happy smirk.   
  
"Not what you said about my face before, was it?" I replied shutting the jeep and storming away, past the RV and down to the quarry.   
  
"For the love of god." I heard Shane muttering just was I walked off.   
  


* * *

  
"You gon' make this a regular thing? Storming off all pissy with me?" Shane sat beside me on one of the rocks over looking the water.   
  
"Only if you keep pissing me off." I replied in a smartass manner.   
  
"You know, I know I never called but that can't be all. Why are you so mad at me?" He asked, looking at me, expecting an answer.   
  
"I don't want to talk about it right now Shane." I brushed him off. I did want to tell Shane the truth, that I was definitely pregnant with his baby and I was pissed because he kept not answering when I wanted to tell him. I mean over the phone was a bad way to break it to him but I couldn't tell him the next time I saw him as his best friend had just gotten shot. There just never seemed to be a right time, especially now when the world was currently overrun by the dead. I hadn't even told him I had a son.   
  
"What did you want to tell me, Addison. When are we going to talk about it, huh? You spend all this time trying to get a hold of me and all of a sudden you don't want to talk?"   
  
He had a point. But fuck Shane, that asshole. Wait, I already did. HAhaha. I must have laughed out loud. He looked at me pointedly and asked "Something funny Addison?" He sounded like one of my old teachers back in high school.   
  
"Nothing." I smirked. "I was just thinkin'. You had a point, but I'm still mad at you. So I though, fuck Shane. And then I thought, wait, I already did." I laughed. He just looked at me.  
  
"You sure find a way to be amused at the strangest things.." He replied, probably thinking about that condom story.   
  
"Look if what you wanted to tell me had something to do with your son, don't worry. I already know. But I am a little surprised not seeing him here with you."  
  
"David got him out. They were gone before I got there, he left me a note. It was him that told me not to go to Atlanta. I went home and packed my things, the next place I wanted to go was the police station, see if you were there." I put my hands on the back of my head, elbows outstretched and I sighed. "I got there just as Armstrong was shutting the gates, he was all that was left. He told me you'd gone to get Lori and Carl out of the town, which I was glad about. They're like my family, you see, and it meant a lot you'd gotten them out, even though I know you didn't do it for me."   
  
Shane nodded taking all this in. "Not what you wanted to tell me though?" He asked, knowingly.   
  
"No." I confirmed. "But I'm too tired to talk about that now. We can talk about it another time. I won't forget."   
  
"Me neither." he replied. "I'll remember you have something to tell me, and I'll remember to ask you about it every day until you tell me." he promised. Asshole.  
  
"You get your tent all setup?" He asked, walking me back to camp.   
  
"More or less. Gotta set things up inside a little more." He pushed me up the rocks a little, helping me get to the top. Not that I needed it.  
  
"Addison?" He asked after a moment.  
  
"Yeah?" I looked at his face, his eyebrows knitting together.   
  
"Never mind." He shook his head.   
  
"Nuh-uh. You can't keep me in the dark with this one. If you're gonna keep reminding me, I'm gonna keep reminding you."   
  
"What are you, five?" He asked annoyed.   
  
"You bet." I grinned. He went off to go do something else as I pulled the air mattress and pump from my trunk. I pulled apart the plastic packaging inside the box and pulled out the new airbed. I put the hose nozzle from the foot pump inside the hole of the air bed and started inflating it by stomping on the pump. It was about halfway up when Glenn walked past, noticing what I was doing.   
  
"Whoa, an airbed." He looked on appreciatively.   
  
"Sweetcheeks has all the modern comforts, I know where I'll be bunking tonight." Merle commented. Boy I just couldn't shake the rednecks, could I?  
  
"You will, will you?" I snarled. "For fucks sake Merle!" I was about to lunge at him when Shane popped up again, placing a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Merle, why don't you give it a rest?" He demanded rather than suggested. Merle stalked off while I kept pumping up the air mattress.  
  
"Hey Glenn?" I called for the mesmerized young adult's attention.   
  
"Yeah?" He looked at me.  
  
"I've got a spare in the wrangler if you want it. I was planning a camping trip just before this all started and these things were pretty unreliable when I was a kid. I prepared for an accident." I offered.   
  
"Sweet." He grinned, I imagined he'd been sleeping on the ground this whole time. "You picked a hell of a time for a camping trip." he commented. **(That was a line from the book tomorrow when the war began. Really good book, you should read it. If you don't like books there's also a movie.)**  
  
I finished pumping up the mattress and put the plug in to stop the air from coming out again. I took the pump with me and headed back up to my car. I handed Glenn the pump and was about to send him on his way with the spare bed when I saw his shocked face.   
  
"Four pillows?" He asked, raising his eyebrow at me.  
  
"I over compensated. Like I said earlier, I was in shock when I packed a lot of this so a fair bit of this is non essential. Go ahead and grab a pillow if you want. I won't need 'em all." I grabbed my quilt and some sheets as well as the mattress topper. "See look at this," I gestured to the sheets. "What did I need all this for when I packed a sleeping bag?"   
  
Glenn laughed and I handed him a few extra blankets as well. I'd made friends with him and I wanted to make sure he wasn't going without. Who on earth goes away on a trip and doesn't think to pack a bed. Common sense really, you should at least have foam mats so you don't fuck up your back as badly. Americans. Even Aussies have mats in their [swags](https://www.tentworld.com.au/swags/).  
  
I pulled the padded mattress topper over the airbed, followed by a fitted sheet and a top sheet. I also put on this one blanket. You know the one, it's plaid and scratchy and it's got nice stitching on the outside but don't let that fool you it's Satan. But that Satan blanket keeps you warm as hell.   
Next I put my doona on top with an extra blanket folded at the end of the bed, couldn't be too careful. I didn't need my sleeping bag so I tossed it in the back of my Jeep again and grabbed the bag of my clothes. I left everything else in my jeep for now and yawned. I spotted Glenn who was coming out of his tent looking very cheery.   
  
I went over to talk to him for a while as I didn't have much else to do for the late afternoon. We got to talking and he mentioned he was thinking about going on a run into Atlanta in a few days when everything died down. I smacked him on the head and immediately called him an idiot.   
  
"Can I come with you?" I asked after whacking him.  
  
"After you just smacked me?" He looked at me like I was crazy. He paused for a moment. "Yeah alright." He said with a smile.  
  
We laughed and discussed clearing it with Shane who had ended up the group leader. I yawned again and said my goodbyes to Glenn, saying I was headed to my tent for a lie down. I closed the fly screen and took my boots off, laying down and dropping off almost immediately. I must have been more tired than I thought.   
  


* * *

  
"Anyone seen CB girl?" Morales asked, having been instructed to gather everyone to the evening meal.   
  
"She told me a few hours ago she was going for a lie down in her tent." Glenn replied.   
  
"Shane would you go check on her please?" Lori asked, her hands full with cooking and looking after Carl.   
  
I looked at her for a moment. Me? Addie smacked me first chance she got and has been off with me all day, and Lori wants me to go wake her up? What's the phrase? Let sleeping dogs lie. Yeah the day I wake up an irritable construction worker whom I happen to know carries three guns and a spiky baseball bat around with her at all times. Fuck that.  
  
"Sure." I replied after receiving a pointed look for my hesitation. I am a man, I am not afraid of 5ft 4" Addison West. Or Lori Grimes for that matter. Shane Walsh takes orders from nobody.  
  
I walked up to her tent and hollered. "Yo, sleeping beauty, you in there?" I went to the door of the tent to see her sleeping form. I'd only seen her like this two other times and she looked just as beautiful as ever. I unzipped the fly screen and stepped quietly over to her.   
  
"What is it Shane?" She asked before I could shake her awake. At least I thought I was quiet.   
  
"Lori says dinner's ready." I replied quickly. She yawned and nodded, sitting up and then taking my hand to help her up. She had such small hands. 


	10. Grumpy Cop

"Hey Addison, the girls and I are headed down to the quarry to do some laundry, you want to come with?" Andrea voice came through the thin, canvas walls of the tent. I groaned and rolled over, shielding my eyes from the sun with one of my blankets.   
  
"Come on Sleepin' Beauty, up an at 'em." Shane called from beside her somewhere.   
  
"No." I mumbled, reluctant to get out of bed. The heat normally would have bothered most but I was toasty and warm and found the sun quite nice, when it wasn't shining in my eyes at least.   
  
I heard the tent doors unzipping and crawled further under the blankets. Shane would have to carry my cold, dead corpse from this bed if he wanted me up. Well actually it'd be my toasty, warm corpse in this weather. He flopped down beside me on the bed and started poking and prodding me with his index finger while I struggled and squirmed away.   
  
"You are Satan." I mumbled. Seemingly content with letting Shane deal with me, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Andrea had left.  
  
"Come on baby, up you get." He tried tugging the blanket but only managed to uncover my head. He used that to his advantage the asshole. He wiggled closer and started placing light kisses all over my face and neck.   
  
"You're not being cute, you're really annoying." I replied.   
  
"Is that right?" He said before pinning me down and placing a deep and passionate kiss on my dry, cracked lips. I grunted in annoyance, but began to kiss him back. He stopped pinning me down as hard and I sat up, resting my hands on his shoulders as his arms snaked under mine. He kissed me a little longer before he smirked and pulled me out from under the blankets and on top of the sheets.   
  
"Asshole." I said when he stopped kissing me. He smirked and ran his hands over my body.  
  
"You do actually need to get up, even if you don't do laundry. I've got some jobs you can do." My skin was so sensitive to his touch,  wherever his skin brushed mine he left a trail of goosebumps.   
  
"I don't do laundry." I replied. "But I can hep you out with other stuff." I pulled his face to mine. "If you kiss me some more."   
  
He connected out lips and ran his tongue along my bottom lip, biting it when I refused his entry. His tongue trailed the inside of my mouth while my hands ran along his toned body. He rolled us over and he laid down on his back while I sat in his lap, gripping his shoulders. We were rubbing against each other and he pulled us apart.   
  
"We have to stop." he started. "We can't get carried away here, not with all these people around."  
  
I nodded in understanding. In truth I'm not sure I was kissing him that long anyway. I got off of him and went over to the bag with my clothes. I pulled my shirt over my head, letting my breasts roam free until I put on a fresh bra and t-shirt. I tugged off my pj shorts and pulled on a pair of jean shorts. I knew fine Shane was watching me.  
When I was done I turned to face him and bent down to pull on my boots. I strapped on my harness and holsters, tucking my Smith and Weston into the back of my shorts. Shane might have said something, that is, if he didn't already know that my gun carrying was common practice even before the world ended.   
  
"So, what needs doing today?" I asked making my bed.   
  
"Well there's the laundry which you already turned down, gathering firewood, or you can help put up a fence around the perimeter." He replied.   
  
"Shane you know fine my job before this was in construction. Of course I'm going to go with the fence." I gave him a look which said, how dumb are you.   
  
"Good, you'll be working with the Dixons." He smirked, stepping out of the tent.   
  
"Damn it." I spat as I followed him outside.   
  
"Ain't no picnic for us neither." Daryl replied, looking me up and down with a glare.    
  
"Come on brother, it'll be nice havin' some eye candy to hold the wire." Merle looking me up and down as his brother did, but with a different look upon his face.   
  
"Lord give me strength." I muttered as I walked up to my jeep, pulling out some extra wire, a staple gun and my bat. "You assholes need anything?"   
  
Daryl came over and started grabbing supplies to help put up the fence and grabbed a hold of the large steel axe I had tucked away in the trunk. Merle on the other hand just stood around being useless, most likely staring at my ass. I was really annoyed Shane had managed to trick me into this. As much as I argued with Daryl he wasn't so bad. It was murdering Merle I was worried about.   
  
"See you're working together already." Shane smirked, he was leaning on the front of his car next to Glenn.   
  
"Shane I will have revenge, I wouldn't be smirking." I growled causing Glenn to laugh.   
  
"Come on princess, let's go." Merle ordered and I glared at him. I don't take orders from rednecks.   


* * *

  
"The trees are too sparse in this area, we're gonna need to make some posts to attach the wire too or it won't hold up. I mean if we pull it tight it'll stay up but it won't keep much out." I explained as we moved along to the next edge of the perimeter we were setting up. Merle was looking at me like he was waiting for a point to contradict me or argue but seemed to be surprised at how much of what I said was agreeable.  
  
"We can fill the holes in with dirt for now and I'll talk to Shane later about making a run to get some cement and other things to make the fence more secure and permanent. Atlanta is closer but it's still a no go zone so we might have to make a run to King County or one of the surrounding towns." I explained thinking about Glenn saying yesterday we'd go on a run together.  "We should be able to find what we're looking for no problem though, I can't imagine concrete being very high on looters shopping lists." I said with a laugh.   
  
"Girl how you know so much 'bout fences 'n stuff?" Merle asked looking me over as if searching my person would give him the answers he wanted.  
  
"I work in construction. I started in day labor and often got sent out to farms to help out with fencing when there was no jobs on in town." I explained. "So, which one of you two is going to take the axe and start cutting down that tree over there?" I pointed to one of the straighter and fairly solid trees. I would have done it myself but I didn't want to push it now I knew for sure that I was knocked up.   
  
There was no conversation between the two, instead Daryl just headed off to the tree I had pointed to and started hacking away at it. Without his shirt sleeves I had a clear view of his muscles flexing, his body shining with sweat. I stopped watching him once I was satisfied he was doing it right and wasn't going to get us killed by a falling tree.  
  
I went back to camp to retrieve a shovel and it tossed Merle after I had marked out the areas I wanted him to dig in. "They'll only need to be a few feet deep." I told him, going over to put holes in more in cans that we were going to hang on the fence to make noise if a walker ran into them.  
  
"Whatever you say princess." Merle replied before getting to work digging.  
  
I ignored him, pushing the nail I was holding through the side of the can. I yanked it out again and repeated the process with all the other cans, stacking them up in a pile next to the tree where the wire ended. I went back to camp again to get us some water. I may not have liked the Dixons but that didn't mean I wanted them to dehydrate. Plus they were doing the work I would be doing if they weren't here. So really it was beneficial to me that they were here.   
  
"Here." I said from behind Daryl who had moved on from chopping down the tree and was now chopping it into posts. He worked up a rhythm by the time I had come back as was breathing heavily. He stopped while I stood behind him and turned around. He took the water reluctantly, almost expecting it to be poisoned or something.  
  
"It's totally kosher, don't worry. I wouldn't poison you when you doing all the work for me." I laughed awkwardly.   
  
He nodded at me and took the water. "Thanks." He said finally after taking a sip.  
  
"No worries mate." I walked off to hand Merle some water who leaned over and tried to smack me on the ass when I turned around. I stepped out of the way at the last minute and he went face first into the ground. I saw Daryl smirk and try not to snort as he did.   


* * *

  
"Addison I just don't think it's a good idea goin' a run right now." Shane replied rattling me further. 

  
"Shane it's King County not Atlanta, I've been in and out before and that was while the shit hit the fan. I'm a grown ass woman and I'm capable of doing it. It's in and out, half day trip max. We leave first thing we'll be back just after lunch. Trust me, I have a watch." I argued, throwing in some humor at the end. It fell on deaf ears then.   
  
"No Addie. It's too dangerous." Shane ignored my pleas.   
  
"It'll be beneficial for the security of the camp, plus we can make a pharmacy run and stock up on supplies for everyone." I said in an attempt to persuade him. "Look," I sighed. "Would it make you feel better if I took someone with me. A  _boy_ perhaps."   
  
He looked at me like I hadn't just played that card. "Addison it's not because you're a woman that I don't think you should go. It's because it's dangerous for  _anyone_ to go." he justified.   
  
"So you think I shouldn't go, and it's dangerous for any _one_ to go," I started, he relaxed a little, thinking he'd managed to persuade me. "But, you never explicetly said I can't go and it's not to dangerous if I take any  _people_ which is more than one." He tensed up again and I grinned a stupid grin at him.   
  
"We can't spare the fuel Addison." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.   
  
I whistled at him. "Follow me." I said gesturing to him and walking off to my car. I pulled open the back doors and pulled out the two, large, plastic canisters. My muscles visibly flexing and straining. "Can we spare the fuel now?" I smirked.   
  
He sighed at me. "You take people with you. You find the bodies and run it by me and then I'll consider it." He shook his head and stalked off.   
  
"So," Glenn popped up. "Can we go?" He grinned at me and lent against the car.   
  
"He wants more people to go with us. Seems to think I'm not tough enough on my own." I sighed and he gave me a sympathetic look.   
  
"Maybe we could ask T-Dog or Morales." He suggested.   
  
"So you're probably not going to like it." I started.  
  
"But.." He prodded, actually poking me, waiting for my counter suggestion.  
  
"What about we ask Dixon, the younger one. Daryl." I finished, scratching the back of my sweaty neck.   
  
"You're right, I don't like it." He replied frowning at me. "Plus he probably won't come if Merle doesn't and we would be better off without that asshole."  
  
"I was working with him all day, he's not that bad. We could use him if we went. He's strong and quiet, doesn't bitch much either." I justified.   
  
Glenn looked at me and sighed, knowing I wouldn't let up. "Fine." He replied reluctantly. "Ask him."   
  
I grinned at him and walked off, headed for the last place I saw the brothers. When I got to the campfire I saw the younger of the two brothers by himself. He was glaring off into the distance and sharpening arrows. "Yo Robin Hood." I said as I sat across from him'  
  
He shot me a glare, apparently not appreciating the nickname. "What'd you want?"   
  
"So, I mentioned goin' on a run earlier and I cleared it with Shane, on the condition that me and my girly ass took some big, tough, manly men because I'm not strong enough and I need protection." I responded, jutting out my upper lip for added effect.   
  
"'An what exactly are you wantin' me to do 'bout it?" Came his irked reply.  
  
"Come with?" I shot him a pleading look.   
  
"No." He got up from the fire and turned to walk away.   
  
"Okay, I tried. Shame too, now we'll never get that fence put up and the camp will fall into ruins. But that's okay, if you really don't want to come that's your decision." I also got up, laying it on thick.   
  
I could see him rolling his eyes and as I turned, took a few steps and looked back, he shot me a look that said  _'don't you make me regret this'._ "Fine." He grumbled, storming off down to the quarry and probably to go and kick the crap out of something. When he was gone I continued on my path towards the surly police officer to let him know I had complied with his requests.   
  
"Hey officer cranky pants!"I hollered from behind the morose man of the law. He turned looking significantly more waspish than he had been before. "I got Daryl and Glenn to come with on the raid tomorrow." I grinned proudly up at him.   
  
He sighed, realizing it was no use to try and fight with me on this. "Fine. You can go." 


	11. Raiding the Quarry

"And remember, be back before 1500 hours." Shane reminded me yet again.   
  
"Trust me Forrest Grump, I'll be back by 3. I'll have to return your hat." I tugged the brown baseball cap that had Deputy adorned on the front in yellow off of his big ass head. Already sick of my antics this morning he decided it was better to let my hat thievery go in order to maintain his sanity.  
  
I shoved his hat on over my blonde hair and tugged my ponytail out the gap in the back. I checked my pistols one last time before I picked up my iconic spiky bat and hung a bright blue crowbar off my belt. Habitually unlocking the Wrangler's doors I hopped into the driver's seat and waited for my two passengers to climb inside. My car had been cleared of all excess supplies and now only the bare necessities remained. Glenn hopped inside the passenger side which left the whole backseat to Daryl and his crossbow. I reversed the whole way from my parking spot, up the road and onto the highway as I was too lazy to actually make the three point turn it would take to drive the correct way. That and it showed I was a badass when it came to driving.   
  
Pulling out backwards onto the now cleared section of the highway, I switched gears and drove forward at speed towards King County. Glancing into the back I noted that although both Glenn and I were wearing our seat belts Daryl was not. He had his arms stretched out across the whole backseat, perched in the middle and had his trusty crossbow on his left side. I noticed the crossbow, however, was strapped in. At least I knew where his priorities were at.   
  
Halfway down the highway the quiet was eating away at me and I was itching to turn on some music, even though I knew it would be a bad idea; they might not like my music taste. Well, that and it could attract hoards of the infected to our location and they would likely rip the flesh from our bodies and eat us alive. I turned to Glenn and shot him a look of desperation, which he didn't notice and just grinned back at me.   
  
"Will someone please just say something?!" I broke the silence with my agony.   
  
"Gees, you act like you haven't heard someone speak in weeks."  Glenn laughed.   
  
"Yeah well, I'd rather hear the irritating drawl of Daryl if it meant I wasn't left alone with my thoughts. Wondering when which corner we'll turn only to meet walls of the infected. When we're going to get to cocky and end up dead. When we're going to make the wrong call. I need to do this but that doesn't mean I'm not bricking it at the idea of something going wrong." I explained.   
  
Daryl looked pissed when I started speaking but then his face changed to thoughtful and almost calculated. Facial expressions that surprised me a fair bit, considering they were sported by the younger Dixon brother. "Ya don' need ta be worryin'. Ya made it this far." Daryl said after a moment and we feel back into silence.   
  
Well he was right, I have made it to day 4 of the apocalypse so far. That's something. I guess. I sighed fairly contently as I rolled my shoulders and made the turn into King County. We spotted a lone member of the infected and I sped up heading straight for it.  
  
"Addie what the hell are you doing?!" Glen screamed from the passenger seat, holding the Jesus bar for dear life and bracing himself in his chair.   
  
"Well if this was 4 days ago it'd be a hit 'n' run and I'd be getting paid." I replied, not slowing down and hitting the monster like thing at full speed, sending it flying into a road sign, top half of it's skull making contact and shooting off. "Now I'm just on clean up."   
  
Even Daryl was a little shocked in the back seat. I did slow down then, heading for the hardware store as it was closer to us than the pharmacy and we wouldn't have to double back. We hopped out of the car and Daryl was lucky I remembered to take the child lock off the doors before he hopped in this morning. When we managed to get inside, sneaking past a pocket of infected, Daryl suggested if split up we could cover more ground.   
  
"Split the party?" I all but screamed in a hushed voice. "Are you  _nuts!?_ "   
  
"Yeah Daryl, don't split the party." Glenn chuckled.   
  
Eventually we settled for Daryl going off by himself to the tool area to get more axes and such while Glenn went to get a trolley to help us load up. This leaving me to stand helplessly on top of one of the high shelves I had scaled to get a better view of the store and keep out of reach of any opportunistic geek. When Glen returned I shimmied down the shelving and to the floor again while we wheeled our way to the concrete section.   
  
We grabbed several bags of cement and a few bags of gravel to mix in. Daryl met us in the isle, almost getting his brains blown out by me as he carried two more shovels and a pickaxe. "Didn't find no axes though." He commented, sticking his new equipment in the trolley beside the cement. We made a detour the power tools section when I had a brainwave and practically dragged the two men accompanying me there myself.   
  
Nail guns. Silent weapons and effective weapons. Well, more silent than guns and it was fairly easy to get something to load them with. Upon airing my idea with Glenn and Daryl they set to work, Daryl going off to stock up on nails while Glenn and I got to work with grabbing as many gas canisters for them as we could get out hands on. We grabbed about 6 nail guns and tossed them in as well. I was fairly proud of my little brainwave and it showed as I rode inside the trolley as Glenn wheeled us out to the parking lot, Daryl spending most of the trip unimpressed.   
  
Outside Daryl loaded the jeep with our haul while Glen and I took the left and right respectively. He attacked any close by Z with the metallic baseball bat I'd lent him while I took out whatever came close, swinging with my own bat as it worked better than the crowbar. Their skulls were still fairly hard so it was more difficult to take them out. I figured the longer they were dead the softer their flesh and bones would be and I could beat them less with my spiky bat.   
  
Satisfied with the work we were doing Daryl climbed into the back seat and Glenn and I dived into the car, me in the passenger seat this time and him driving. I handed him the keys and directed him to the pharmacy off the main street. Glenn did ask why we didn't try the hospital but I explained that Shane said last he was there it was overrun.  
  
Glenn reverse parked, back of the jeep parallel with the front of the store and we hopped out. We had to take out more walkers upon exiting but by now we were getting used to it, numb to it. We had to use my crowbar to pry open the security gate that was pulled across and locked in place in front of the automatic doors. Glenn was about to do the same with the automatic doors before Daryl stopped us. "Wait a minute," He held us back. "This is better." he pulled out some small tools and one of my hair pins and picked the lock to the doors. We tugged them open and slipped inside before shutting them behind us.   
  
Daryl jumped the counter and started grabbing as much of the heavy duty stuff as possible while Glenn and I split up, him suggesting I take the feminine hygiene section which gave me a good laugh. He all but blushed like a schoolboy mentioning it. Didn't he grow up with sisters? I stuck my arm in the shelf and held the bag open with the other, making a clean sweep of the whole thing. While nobody was looking I grabbed a few bottles of prenatal vitamins and slipped them into some lesser known pockets of the bag I was carrying. Glen awkwardly tried to shove several boxes of condoms into the bag nonchalantly which gave me a good laugh at his failure.   
  
I tucked them in deeper as I watched him turn scarlet and went over to the cold and flu area stuffing what I could in there along with a crap tonne of Tylenol and Advil. We stuffed in gauze, bandaging and first aid supplies and by the time we were done Daryl returned with his own bag, stuffed to the brim. This should keep us fairly well stocked for a while, even though there wasn't much in the store for us to pick through. Daryl opened up the doors for us while we tossed the bags into the jeep, him shutting up shop, jamming the security gate closed again. All in all it was a fairly successful trip. No casualties.   
  
I got back into the driver's seat and drove us home, thankful everything turned out okay and actually happy that we'd brought Daryl along. With any luck he might become a new friend alongside Glenn. 

* * *

  
"Back before three as promised." I called out the window to the rather anxious looking Shane who was stood on top of one of the logs we usually sat on to eat. Everyone else was sat round the campfire eating lunch. While everyone hopped out of the jeep I slipped back and grabbed the vitamins, slipping them into my pockets.   
  
"And you were worried." I teased before making my excuses and slipping back to my tent to hide the vitamins. I came back and Carl had tackled me in a bear hug.   
  
"I'm glad you're back Addie." He said holding him tight.   
  
"I'm glad to be back, little buddy." I ruffled his hair and then took the plate Lori handed me.   
  
"Thanks." I breathed, sending her a grateful glance. I sat down beside him as he was sat next to his new friend Sophia. Shane seemed to visibly relax and sit down beside me, starting his own plate of food. "Oh, I had a brainwave earlier." I said suddenly, breaking the semi peaceful air around the campsite.   
  
"What?" Shane asked between mouthfuls.   
  
"Nail guns." I replied. "I can't believe I spent half my life on construction sites and didn't think of this earlier."   
  
Shane nodded, it was a good idea. Ammo was much easier to come by, easier to learn to use, aim and fire. Anyone could use them and anyone can get their hands on them. They were as common and baseball bats or crowbars. Another good thing to use would be a shovel but they were a bit of an awkward shape to have everyone carrying around.   
  
After lunch Merle and I went back to the fence line to continue the day before's work, him carrying a pale of water to mix with the cement and gravel. We tugged out the posts one by one and scooped the dirt out of the hole, replacing the post and shoveling in mixed cement. We left in order for the cement to set and would return the next day to finish the last touches of the fence.   
  
Every time I looked at Merle he looked like he was going to say something but was debating whether or not to. Almost like he thought I was going to smack him one if he was an ass. It's true though, I would smack him if he was an ass. I'd smack him hard. He followed behind me back to camp where I ditched him in favor of the tents. At least there I was free from his almost speaking.   
  
A little later I was approached by Carl. Asking if I'd take him and Sophia down to the quarry to swim. It was a hot one today and I understood why they'd want to. I said I'd take them if it was okay with Lori and Sophia's mother Carol. I walked with him along to the campfire where I found Lori reading a book from Dale's RV and Carol washing the dishes in some soapy water.   
  
"So," I started, getting the two mothers' attention. "Carl asked me to take him and Sophia swimming in the quarry. I'm okay with this, but I said I'd only do it if it was okay with you two."   
  
Lori seemed to think about it for a minute, weighing up the pros and cons whereas Carol looked to Lori and waited for her to make her decision. "Well it's okay with me if it's okay with Carol." Lori said finally. "Make sure he doesn't swim out too far."  
  
"I will." I nodded and then looked to Carol. "How about you, what do you think?" She looked a little shocked that i'd asked her what she thought, and I wasn't surprised, with a drill sergeant like Ed for a husband you stop making your own decisions.   
  
"Well I guess if it's okay with Lori then it's okay with me." She responded after thinking on it a little more.   
  
"Great, I'll go tell them I got the go ahead and then get changed. We'll meet back here before we go down." I replied with a big encouraging grin directed at Carol. I headed back to my tent where the anklebiters had gathered and told them the good news. They let out a cheer and headed off to grab their togs.   
  
I changed as well and grabbed towels for the three of us, heading to the glove box of my car to grab some sunscreen. I met the tykes back at the campfire and started rubbing down Carl while Carol rounded on Sophia, covering her from head to toe. When Lori came back from wherever it was she went - presumably the bathroom - she took over on Carl so I could start rubbing sunblock on myself.   
  
As I was applying the cream to my shoulders an irritating whistle sounded through the camp. Merle. Both him and Daryl were looking me up and down as were some of the other males in the camp. I paid them no mind and wasn't surprised when the only decent one, Glenn, came over to help me with my back. While he did I noticed Shane sending irritated looks my way.   
  
"You guys heading down to the quarry?" Glenn asked, probably already knowing the answer.   
  
"Yeah, the kids wanted a dip." I replied trying to rub some on my face without loosing my eyes. Or heaven forbid I accidentally got some in my mouth.   
  
"Oh cool, want me to tag along?" He asked, finishing up on my back.   
  
"Sure if you don't mind. I'd love the company." He jetted off into the distance and returned a few moments later changed and ready to go with a towel, baseball cap removed. I rubbed his back with suntan lotion and he quickly covered himself, so he didn't slow us down. Carl and Sophia shot me anxious glances, waiting impatiently to go down.   
  
"Alright, alright you two we're ready." I laughed watching them tear off for the quarry. I walked down after them with Glenn in tow, arriving just a few moments later, watching them freeze at the water's edge. "What's the matter? Not scared of a little cold water are we?" I teased, grabbing Carl and carrying him out into the water with me, dropping him in water that just reached his neck if he stood up. He let out delighted screams and I noticed by the sequels behind me that Glenn had done the same.   
  
I laughed watching Carl's half-assed attempt at a grumpy face, rise slowly out of the water and I shrieked as he squirted water in my face. I started running through the water as I chased after him, all the way back to shore as Glenn and Sophia waded in slowly behind us. I grabbed Carl and tossed him back in the water with a splash and he let out a cry of laughter as I soaked myself in the process. I got the water out of my eyes and Glenn sent a torrent of water over in my direction, soaking me again. I swam towards him and splashed him right back. We got into an all out out war with everyone not stopping till we'd swallowed more water than there was in the quarry.   
  
The sun was lower in the sky now and the kids were getting tired. Glenn and I waded out of the water again, practically dragging the kiddies along with us. I wrapped Sophia in a towel drying her off a little before wrapping myself in a towel. Scrubbing Carl dry while he tried to shake his hair like a wet dog. I watched them trudge back up the slope as as I followed behind them also tired and practically leaning on Glenn.   
  
"I forgot how tiring this could be." I sighed contently as we headed back up to the campfire. I yawned and rubbed my face. "I am so tired man."   
  
"Ugh." Glenn groaned. "Tell me about it. I swear I'm going to pass out any minute."   
  
We reached the campfire just as Lori and Carol were talking their kids off to go and get changed, ready for dinner which would be ready soon. I yawned again and sat by the fire, leaning on Glenn as I tried not to fall asleep before I ate. I knew if I did I'd be starving the next morning thanks to all the swimming. Shane was sitting by the fire across from his and I noticed his harsh glare yet again. I wondered what the hell his problem was but then I reminded myself I didn't care.   
  
"I think I'm going to get changed into my pajamas before dinner so I can go to bed straight after. I am so wrecked." I stood up and stumbled away, hanging up my wet towel as I went, changing into a loose t-shirt and some shorts. I tugged on a hoodie afterwards and trekked back to the fireplace in a pair of [thongs](http://www.souvenirsaustralia.com/category102_1.htm).  Glenn caught up with me on my way back to the fire.   
  
"Flip flops?" He asked surprised. They weren't exactly the world's most suitable camping shoe but every Aussie has a pair.   
  
"I can't be bothered with shoelaces." I mumbled making him laugh. We reached the fire and Andrea was handing out portions. "Thanks." I grunted, flopping down onto a log beside my tailgate.   
  
We ate in a silence that was only punctuated by the occasional stink eye and then I turned in for the night, absolutely fucked. I was so tried I just had enough time to tug off my hoodie and climb under the covers before I was out like a light. 


	12. Leaky tents

"Why is my tent leaking?" Glenn's voice echoed across the once quiet forest.   
  
"For fuck's sake Glenn." Another voice called from the other side of the camp. I sat up in bed, groggy and unaware of what was happening. I checked my watch and it read 3:04. I let out a groan that probably also echoed through the surrounding area. I pulled on my boots and hoodie, heading outside in to the apparent rain. I walked over to Glenn's tent to find the distressed young adult trying to scoop water out of his tent with his baseball cap. I looked at him and sighed, trying to grab anything that was still dry out of his tent and put it in mine. There wasn't much but there was at least some clothes for him in the morning.   
  
Some of the others had also gotten up trying to help him soak up the water with towels and bucket it out. I was about to suggest that it was no use and we should give up for now and come back in the morning when an enraged voice thundered across the camp.   
  
"What the hell is goin' on?" Shane's voice boomed in the night.   
  
"Tent's flooded." I replied tiredly. A moment later Shane looked down at his feet and followed the trail back to his tent. Shane's socks were soaked and upon closer inspection I noticed his tent was also filling up with water.   
  
"Glenn, this is useless in the dark. Let's leave it till morning. You can sleep in my tent." I yawned, not wanting to do this anymore but not wanting to leave him either. Slowly everyone headed back to their tents. I lead Glenn back to mine and scurried under the covers, tugging my hoodie back off. I felt the mattress shift beside me so I knew he had made himself comfortable as well so I shut my eyes. I was about to fall back asleep when I heard a stream of irate shouts and curses from Shane. Seems nobody stayed behind to help him with his little flood.   
  
"Shane, be quiet, some of us are trying to sleep." Lori scolded and I heard a frustrated growl in response.   
  
I let out a quiet chuckle. They say getting pleasure out of someone else's bad luck was rude but I couldn't help but get a warm feeling spread through me when I thought about the disgruntled lawman's misfortune.  
  


* * *

  
I awoke later that morning to the sound of Glenn groaning loudly beside me. He stretched and rolled from his side onto his back. Hey stifled a yawn and noticed I was also awake. "Morning." He smiled groggily at me.   
  
"Hey." I breathed, sitting up and stretching. "I managed to save some of your clothes last night. We should eat some breakfast and see about cleaning up your tent." He nodded and got up to pull on his jeans. I glanced down to notice that although he was quite thin he was also quite toned. Getting up I started getting dressed into some jean shorts and a tank top.   
  
"Oh god." I heard him say from behind me and I turned to face him.   
  
"What is it?" I asked, my shorts on and my tank top halfway up my forearms.   
  
"Nothing." He went crimson. I smirked.   
  
"What's the matter Glen, never seen this much of a girl before?" I asked laughing and pulling the tank top over my head, covering my lacy black bra. He stuttered out some reply and stumbled backwards. "Chill out Glen, it's fine." I left the tent and he followed awkwardly behind me.   
  
We went out to the campfire where most of the group had already gathered. I heard a car door shut behind me and I turned to see Shane crankily walking towards us. "Wow, you look awful." I said looking at how tired and pissed off he looked.   
  
"Thanks Addie." He growled sitting down and shoveling cereal into his mouth.   
  
He probably hadn't gotten much sleep last night after his tent flooded and him being forced to take up residency in a cramped car. I felt a little bad about not helping him, so I decided to check out his tent when I'm done helping Glenn's with his.   
  
"I'm not sure what you're complaining about Shane," Andrea started. Oh this would be good. "Glenn's tent flooded too."  
  
I saw the look of fury rise up in his eyes as she said that. Not only did he get no sleep last night but now his problems were being dismissed. This was too good. He thundered away once he'd finished wolfing down his cereal probably to start clearing out his tent. The dark clouds from last night had cleared and there was nothing but clear blue skies. Before Glenn and I went back to his tent I set to work of hanging another washing line near the fire, between two cars.   
  
When I was done I found Glenn already at his tent, ringing out the towels and blankets from last night, hanging them on the group's washing line. With a bucket and a glass I climbed inside the canvas and started scooping water with the cup and emptying it into the bucket. When there was no water able to be picked up by the glass I ran a dry towel over the floor. I was still damp but no actually covered in water so we un-pegged it and took the poles out, ready to hang the tent as well. We took it over to the second line to air it out and I left him to hang the rest of his clothes at the group line.   
  
I looked over to Shane who was couching and scooping the water out with his hands, looking miserable. I stepped inside his tent and set to work, giving him a sympathetic look. He got another cup and joined me inside, working together like a team.   
  
"Thanks Addie." He said genuinely.   
  
"No problem." I smiled and emptied the bucket outside a little ways away from the tent. He was already un-pegging it when I returned to help him remove the poles. "Is something bothering you?" I asked after a moment. "You seem kind of pissy. Pissier than normal that is."   
  
He shot me a look and then went back to setting aside the poles, folding the tent up into squares and taking it to hang up himself. I chased after him a moment later. I helped him hang it over the line between the two cars and stopped him from going off.   
  
"Seriously, what's upsetting you Shane? I might be annoyed with you but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. If there's something bothering you then I want to help." I put my hands on his head and forced him to look at me. "Talk to me." I ordered.   
  
"It's nothing." He said after a moment, not quite making eye contact.   
  
"Shane!" I yelled. "Seriously."   
  
"There's nothing wrong with me okay?" He said back, irritated. "You're the problem."   
  
"Excuse me?" I looked at him now with my hands on my hips. "You wanna try that again?"  
  
He sighed and then dragged me off to a spot by the water on top of some rocks. Running his hands through his hair he eventually turned to face me and sighed. "So are you.." He started.   
  
"Am I?" I prodded.   
  
"Is there something..." He stopped again. "That Glenn kid, is there something going on between you and him?" He asked finally.  
  
I bust out laughing. I mean Glenn was nice but he reminded me more of my brother back home. Plus he's a good 4 or 5 years younger than me. "Trust me on this one Shane, there is nothing going on between me and Glenn. We're just friends."   
  
"Oh." He replied probably feeling a little bit silly after my reaction.   
  
"I'm not sure why it'd bother you so much anyway. We slept together a few times one night and then hung out one time after that. I mean I'd hardly call that a relationship so why be worried?" I patted his knee.   
  
"So what was it that you wanted to tell me all those weeks ago then?" He asked. Good question Shane.   
  
"I think we should work on our relationship before I break that one out. I mean we've been pissed at each other for days, not talking about it and acting like teenagers in high school instead of dealing with it." I explained. I wanted to make things work with him, but we were both so hard headed and in the middle of the apocalypse we needed to be damn sure we could make this work.   
  
"What could be so bad that you can't just tell me now?" He asked, looking at me seriously.   
  
"It's not bad." I replied. "I just don't want to get into this right now." I scratched the back of my neck. I mean I wanted to make with work without the added pressure of a baby hanging over our relationship but I couldn't help but wonder if I was doing the wrong thing keeping this from him. 


	13. Keep away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains lemon. Pretty vanilla lemon though but I still think young viewers should watch out. I'm not your mum though so do what you want. You've been warned.

After sitting in silence with Shane for a while I headed back up the hill to see if Merle or Daryl was awake and ready to finish up the fence once and for all. The concrete should be set by now, even with the rain last night. It didn't long to put up more lines of wire with cans hanging off and staple them down to the trees and posts. We were done by lunch and headed back to the campfire. Merle spent this time talking with Ed around the other circle of logs while I sat next to Dale, the owner of the RV in an attempt at making friends with more of the people in camp.   
  
He was quite friendly although a little old fashioned, although that didn't mean he wasn't interested to find out I was a construction worker and he was quite impressed. I found out he'd picked up Andrea and her sister Amy on the road and saved them, taking them to the refugee center in Atlanta and ending up here instead. Carol had been parked next to Lori and Shane on the highway with her family. Jim hadn't said much on his back story. He was kind enough but he didn't really say much. According to Glenn he was picked up by T-Dog or Theodore Douglas who had been picking up the elderly and taking them to church during the outbreak.   
  
Something I'd noticed was that this group seemed to call the infected geeks. Wasn't sure why though. The only references to the word I could make were the geeks in high school or carnival geeks. It was most likely that latter because they will eat pretty much anything and the walking infected seemed to enjoy munching on body parts.   
  
When I was done with my lunch Carol offered to do my clothing and gear when she was down at the quarry with the others doing laundry. I thanked her and in return offered to watch Sophia for her. I knew that deadbeat Ed wouldn't be watching her so I figured it would be more fun for her hanging out with me instead of watching everyone cleaning clothes.   
  
We sat up in Dale's RV drawing until it got too hot for us inside so I rubbed her in sunscreen and took her down to the lake to paddle in the water by her mother. Carl was playing with Shane in the water already and we met up with them. I found a rugby in the back of my wrangler and managed to get them to play a girls vs boys match which turned out to be an intense game of keep away. Shane got a hold of it an ran out to the deeper water to gain an advantage as he was the tallest out of all the players which was when I ducked under the water and swam up behind him, climbing up onto his back and stealing the ball. Swimming back to the shallows as fast as I could, running in the knee deep water along the length of the quarry. All was going well until I turned to see if he was still chasing me only to get spear tacked by Shane and I fell into the water with a huge splash. Carl took this point to grab the ball and run away from Sophia.  
  
It was at this point that T-Dog and Amy decided to join in the fun. We kept playing our game of keep away with Amy, Carl and Sophia giggling as us as the adults wrestled each other for the ball. I got Shane in a headlock but T-Dog ran past and tossed it between him and Carl. Luckily Sophia and Amy teamed up to tackle T-Dog and steal the ball away.   
  
We played like this for hours until Carol and Lori called the younger two players back up to camp. Then Andrea, Jacqui and the Dixon brothers joined in. That made for an interesting game and Dale, Glenn and Jim seemed to think so too and started spectating. Each member of my team seemed to be pinned down by a member of the opposing side and wasn't in a position to get hold of the ball. Glancing around I managed to spot the ball and slip past Shane, charging and tackling Merle for the ball. Once I successfully had it I tore across the quarry being chased by the whole team in order to get it back.   
  
"Some help would be much appreciated girls." I called behind me swerving a tackle from Merle, landing him in the water. Unfortunately that had lead me straight into a trap. I ran face first into awaiting Daryl's chest, right where they wanted me. He grabbed both my arms and held me still so I couldn't regain hold of the ball while Shane snatched away the ball and tossed it to T-Dog who was waiting to catch it at the other side of the mass of bodies.   
  
Andrea headed straight for him but he quickly tossed the ball to Merle who had been making his way over anyway. Jacqui intercepted and tossed the ball to Amy who unfortunately was taken down by Shane. I would have done something but I was still being pinned by Daryl. I managed to break free from his hold eventually and I leapt over T-Dog and into Shane's arms, landing bridal style, tossing the ball over to Andrea who ran closer to shore. Shane held me tight and I squealed, trying to wriggle out of his arms.   
  
He laughed as I struggled but eventually let me go when the ball came near. I grabbed it just as he made a move for it and headed for the only free person, Jacqui. The Dixon brothers cornered me just as I did, Daryl grabbing me and Merle grabbing the ball from me and tossing it to Shane. Amy snatched it from him only to be blocked by T-Dog but he was stopped in his tracks by Andrea. She threw the ball straight to Jacqui again and she managed to hold onto it for quite a while until Merle and Shane teamed up to attack me from behind, Daryl from me who headed straight for her.   
  
Amy tried to help them but was still inhibited by T-Dog. Andrea headed over to help Jacqui and was successful but had no one to pass it to. I climbed on top of Shane's shoulders and jumped off, aiming for T-Dog but I bypassed him and landed on Daryl, sending us both into the water. Andrea passed it to me and then headed to the other end of the quarry behind everyone. Now that I had the ball I passed it to Amy and moved into space, ready for when she passed it to Andrea. I caught it and was ready to pass it to Jacqui but I was intercepted by a revenge tackle from Daryl and Shane ended up catching the ball.    
  
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Lori heading down the hill towards the group of spectators. I took my chance while everyone else was distracted by her pass Daryl, grab the ball from Shane and run out into the deeper water, swimming around the group. Lori called out to everyone that dinner was ready and our game finished at the setting of the sun with me running towards the shore with the ball.   
  
"Woohoo I win!!!" I screamed as I was chased up the hill to the camp fire. I went to change my clothes and get into some pyjamas and a hoodie as I was absolutely dripping. Most of the others would only really need to change pants or towel off a little, excluding of course anyone I tackled into the deep. 

* * *

I returned to the fire in my fluffiest hoodie and some thongs. I took my plate and sat down beside Dale and Glenn. The sun was still setting so when we finished eating we decided it was best to set up Glenn's tent at least if we didn't get Shane's done in time. They could either bunk together for one night and deal with it or I'd offer up a spot in mine.   
  
"Shane, what are you doing?" I asked as he pulled the cover over the tent. "That's on upside down and inside out." I commented as he looked at me.  
  
"Is it?" He asked after looking intensely at the waterproof canvas sheet. "No I'm sure it's this way."  
  
"He helped me with the one on my tent and we put it on this was." Glenn commented.  
  
"Well no wonder water got in if you set up your tents like this." I laughed. "Take a look at the one on my tent. It's supposed to go like that."  
  
"I guess we probably should have read the instruction manual then." Glenn sighed.   
  
"Son, men don't need instructions." Merle piped in from the background.  
  
"Apparently these men do." I laughed, putting the sheet over properly and pegging it down with the poles in. The tents were dry and Glenn's air bed was too but the bedding and sleeping bags were still damp or soaked. We'd gotten halfway through putting up Shane's tent when we realised.   
  
I handed Glenn my sleeping bag that I didn't use and he set to work on inflating his bed again, a new pillow from me with him as his got soaked last night. "You're just going to have to bunk with me and deal with it." I said to Shane as there was nothing else we could do about his situation.   
  
"Good, because I don't think I could put up with another night of your snoring." Glenn laughed, making light of the situation.   
  
"My snoring is not that bad." I argued, hands on my hips.  
  
Shane leaned over to Glenn and said "At least she admits it." laughing along with him.  
  
"You two I swear to god," I walked off shaking my head. I tugged off my hoodie at the tent door and tucked myself under the blankets on my side of the bed. I propped myself up on one arm while I flicked through one of last year's gossip magazines that had been left in my bag. Just shows how often I use it.   
  
Later Shane unzipped the flap and stripped down to his boxers, sliding under the blankets beside me. I closed the magazine that I couldn't really read in the dark anyway, rolling over to face him, debating whether or not to be bold. He watched me intently as I decided to make a move or not. I leaned up to his face and pressed my lips to his. He smiled as my eyes fluttered closed and he kissed me back, pulling me closer to him. He brushed my hair out of my face and pulled me up to straddle him. I pushed down on his chest as I leaned down to kiss him roughly and I wondered how far we could take this. I'd been wanting to do this again since day one and more so with all the tension between us.   
  
Apparently further than I thought as Shane just pulled my shirt up and over my head, reaching up to grab hold of my breasts. I slid my hand up his naked chest to feel his abs, him massaging my flesh while still kissing me. I scratched lightly on his skin and he rolled us over to be on top. He was running his hands over my body at a mile a minute, my fingers trailing his back. He tugged down my shorts and I dipped my digits in the waistband of his boxers. He slid down to my waist, kissing along my hips and down my pelvis towards my tender folds. He slid his tongue up the slit sending a shiver down my spine. He ran his tongue around my entrance and then up to my sensitive nub, running circles around it with his wet muscle. He put his hand up to my mouth and I sucked on his fingers, moistening them with my saliva. He dipped two inside of me and made a scissoring motion stretching my hole. I was clutching the sheets trying not to make any noise and wake up the other campers.   
  
This gave me cheeky memories of the retreat we did in senior year when I was in high school. We were in log cabins by the lake forest surrounding the clearing. One night David and I snuck out to the communal supply closet and he pinned me up against the shelves, holding me up with my legs locked around his waist. I'm pretty sure it was that night that John was conceived and although things went south with David, I'll never regret that night because so many beautiful things came from it.   
  
Tonight, although similar in location was nothing like that night. Having sex with Shane was unlike anything I'd ever experienced with anyone ever before. He slid his boxers off and pushed into me, connecting our mouths to silence my screams. Having done this with me before he knew I was rather loud if he touched me in just the right way. And although he enjoyed pissing off his neighbours back home, he had no desire to wake up the campers around them.

* * *

  
Lori Grimes was walking back to camp after having been to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The moonlight made her pale skin glow and sent streams of light through the gaps in the leaves and tree branches. As she was walking through the collection of tents she heard a feminine grunt from Addison's tent and cast a glance behind her in the direction of the noise. She could see two moving figures and shook her head. It seemed she and Shane had decided the best way to spend their time together by creating the beast with two backs. She smiled a little and headed back to her tent, wondering if it was Shane that got her so worked up before Rick got shot.   
  
She felt a pang in her chest when she thought of her late husband, her light mood deflating as she unzipped her tent and climbed into bed beside her young son.   
  


* * *

  
"Keep going." I panted. "Faster." Shane quickened his pace and ploughed in harder as he did so, making sure he hit the sweet spot he'd discovered a few weeks before. He connected our lips again just as I was about to make an inhuman scream. It was incredible - and annoying - how he was able to undo me like this. I reached up to grab his back, pulling him closer to my chest and rolling my hips up against his. I dug my fingernails into his skin, ripping at the flesh making him moan into my mouth. I locked my legs around his waist and he held my hips, guiding himself into me making sure to go harder and faster still. The knot in my stomach was tightening and it was only a matter of time before it, and I, came undone. He broke apart our mouths and lay feather light kisses down my neck, nipping at the flesh of my breasts. He sucked on my perked nipples one at a time, giving them each the attention they deserved. When he started rubbing circles on my clit with his thumb I knew it was all over and bit into his shoulder to suppress my moaning and groaning. 

This turned him on further and he got a little sloppy, giving in to the pleasure. My walls tightened around his member and he let out a moan of his own. I released his shoulder from my bite and set free a groan, connecting our lips again, desperately kissing him until my walls tightened around him fully and my legs started to shake. I let out a whimper and several mewls which were muffled by his mouth.   
  
I felt his salty seed spill into me at about the same time I released and arched my back as I did so. My body relaxed and he pulled out of me, slumping down beside me on the air mattress. I sighed contently and felt him pull me up against him, wrapping his arms tightly around me and placing a kiss on my shoulder as we snuggled up with each other. 


	14. Europop

It'd been a few weeks since the girls vs boys game of keep away in the quarry and Shane's tent never did finish getting put back up. In fact it was now packed up and stored away in the back of my jeep. Glenn and I had done several more supply runs, Shane getting slightly less nervous each time I went and returned without incident. My morning sickness had started and hit me like a truck. I was still trying to find new and inventive ways to cover it up but as far as I'm aware nobody knows anything. And if they suspect anything they've kept quiet about it. One month into the apocalypse and I was about two months pregnant, luckily not showing as I kept having to take the kids down to the quarry to swim.   
  
I'd just finished retching in a bush when Dale walked past, asking if I was alright. I wiped my mouth and swept my hair out of my face. I turned to greet him and gave him a polite smile.  
  
"Nothing to worry about Dale, I just swallowed a bug." I explained, hoping it was a believable lie. Apparently it was as he walked me back to the fireplace with a related anecdote.   
  
"You know I once knew a man who owned a motorbike, used to have one of those bucket helmets, cheering at the top of his lungs every time he rode past. He was always inhaling bugs, including a bee one time. His throat started to swell up and I took him to hospital in my old wagon." He laughed. "I got a cheeky little laugh when I saw him the next day with a new helmet, one of those ones with the visors to shield him from the bugs. We didn't wake up to him yelling every morning anymore."   
  
Dale is weird. Anyway I'm just glad my story was believable. I was sticking mainly to cereal these days as whenever we did come across powdered eggs the smell made me gag and want to puke. I was up before Shane this morning as I had been for a while now, either my biological clock was reset to the same as nature thanks to the camping or it was the pregnancy getting me up at sunrise to puke my guts up each morning.   
  
I was sitting by the low fire eating my cereal when Shane made his way to the land of the living, sitting beside me after he ruffled Carl's hair. "Hey how come you're always up before me these days? You used to sleep until noon." Shane commented between munches.   
  
"I thinks it's something about camping. It always used to be the same when I went with my brother as a kid. Something about the fresh air and early nights." I replied. It was true, this is very much like my childhood.   
  
"You had a brother?" Carl asked suddenly paying attention.  
  
"Yep." I smiled at him.  
  
"What was it like?" He came over to sit by me.   
  
"A real pain." I laughed.   
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well boys are smelly." I replied earning a smile from Lori and calls of protest from Shane and the newly arrived Glenn. "No, actually my brother and I got along really well. Even after we got split up and I think that's part of the reason we were separated." I explained thinking about how much trouble we used to get into.  
  
"Separated?" Shane asked, also interest in the story.   
  
"Yeah, well when I was a kid my brother and I used to get into all kinds of trouble. One day we just went to far and my parents had had enough. They sent us away in order to straighten us out. Rob to military school and me to live with my grandparents. I'm fairly sure he got the better deal on that one." I laughed. "Anyway after school he moved over here and we got up to some trouble before he enlisted and spent most of his time up at the base in Fort Benning."   
  
"How come you don't talk about him much?" Glenn asked, perching across from us.  
  
"Because I have no idea what happened to him. He could be anywhere now and I want to track him down but unfortunately it's not a priority right now. Even if I want it to be." I sighed, looking down at my soggy cereal.   
  
"We'll get there, babe, we'll get there." Shane patted my knee and gave it a squeeze. Everyone cleared out while I finished what was left of my cereal. When I was done, I was approached by Carol, timidly informing me that the ladies of the group were running low on monthlies. I knew that us women couldn't help it but it was rather annoying that I had just gone out and cleared a whole chemist of feminine hygiene products only to have to worry about it again now.   
  
"That's okay, I'll find Glenn and ask him if he wants to come on a run with me." I told her, shooting her a friendly grin.  
  
"Thanks Addison," she smiled gratefully at me.   
  
"You can call me Addie if you like." I offered her the use of my nickname on my way away from the camp fire to let her know we were friends.   
  
I tracked down Glenn who was rereading one of Dale's books trying to entertain himself. He was perched on the steps to Dale's RV, eyes glazed over. I sat down on top of him to annoy him. It worked and now he could no longer pretend to read the book for a fourth time.   
  
"Would you get off me?" He asked irritatedly.   
  
"Depends," I replied, wiggling my tail bone further into his thigh.   
  
"On what?" he asked, trying to shove me off. I gripped tight to the doorway of the RV.  
  
"We need to make a pharmacy run for feminine things. I reckon we could make another food run as well. Will you come with me?" I asked, not letting up on my hold of the RV.  
  
"If it'll get you off of me then sure." I hopped out of his lap and he stood up, stretched and popped back into the RV to return Dale's book. "Although I would have come anyway."   
  
"I know you would have, I just like to annoy you." I replied shooting him a cheeky grin. I headed towards my tent to make sure I was carrying all the necessities and take today's prenatal vitamin tablet before Shane poked his head in. I stuffed them back in my bag and exited the canvas structure.   
  
We headed out to find Shane to inform him of our departure and he asked us to find more jerry cans and get more fuel. He was reluctant to let me go still, but he knew I always returned okay. Plus, I knew King County like the back of my hand. Glenn jumped in shotgun of my wrangler and I blew Daryl a cheeky kiss before he rolled his eyes and stalked away. I climbed into my own seat and started the baby up. We pulled out of the quarry and headed to the gas station first, it being the closest. 

* * *

  
"Let's do something dangerous." I looked at Glenn, shooting him a grin.  
  
"Let's not." He replied. I ignored him and flicked on the CD player and jumped a little when Linkin Park's Blackout blared over the radio.   
  
"Shit." I said, pressing the eject button and popping the CD out. "Go into the glove box and grab out the folder of CDs will you? Pick one and stick it on. Pick something fun."   
  
He looked at me hesitantly and then complied, going through page after page of CDs. He finally decided on Eiffel 65's Europop album. I grinned at him excitedly and skipped straight to my favourite song to play it first. He was awkward about it first but by the time the first verse was on he was headbanging and belting out the lyrics with me.   
  
"I wanna click, a click to your heart, a hyperlink into you." He yelled/sung.  
  
"A sexual browser from here to the end, a news group one on one. Don't need a modem to connect to your mind," I drummed on the steering wheel while keeping an eye on the road.   
  
"No search engine to find you. I want a click, a click to your heart. A hyperlink to go inside you. Deep down, deep down, da de da-da dow da-da, deep down, deep down da dee da-da." We rocked out until the song finished, Glenn more into it than me which was hard to believe.   
  
"Man, I remember rocking out to that in my senior year." I laughed.   
  
"Wait, what? I thought we were similar ages. You'd have to have graduated in the year 2000." He looked at me confused.   
  
"Yeah, so?" I replied. Jesus I wasn't that old.   
  
"That'd make you 28 this year." He responded.  
  
"27, I graduated at 17." I corrected. "I'm not that much older Glenn, aren't you like 23 or 24?"

"22." He replied.   
  
"That's only 5 years." I replied. 

"Yeah but that means you finished high school before I'd left middle school." Okay so I'd pretty much had my first child before he'd graduated but that doesn't make me old. I'm just an overachiever or something. My hand reached for the centre console and I turned the volume dial down low as we got closer to the city, although it wasn't long before I had to turn it off completely.   
The conversation had ceased after that as it had left an awkward air about the place and we had to concentrate more as we drive further in to King County.


	15. GROCERY HELL

The stench of the dead and beginning to rot corpses gushed in through the vents of the Wrangler and I had to shut off the AC before I was reduced to a gaging mess. I'm not sure if the morning sickness added to the nausea that came with the malodour of the deceased or if the smell was just that bad but I wasn't sure how much longer I could take the reeking the poured off their moving bodies.   
I looked to my left and saw that Glenn wasn't fairing too much better and it wasn't before long that we had to grab our gear and ditch the Jeep and park it some place discreet and easy to get to.   
  
There was a convenience store right around the corner that we decided to hit first seeing as the streets further into suburbia and further away from the centre of town were much quieter. We still had to take out members of the walking dead though, but thankfully it was much easier when there was only a few. We hurried along the streets albeit a lot more relaxed than if there were hoards about. We needed to move quickly and conserve energy at the same time. 

Unfortunately there was little to be salvaged  from the little corner store and we had to venture elsewhere. There weren't many Geeks in this part of town, we were lucky enough to be able to slow down for a while, but we couldn't afford to slow down too much or we'd lose too much daylight. I lead Glen to a close by Food Depot which apparently was a supermarket chain located only in the states of Georgia and North Carolina.  
  
Glenn watched my back while I jammed the crowbar I'd been carrying in between the closed automatic doors and pried them open. It was tough. Had I been with anyone else, they probably would have done it for me. But Glenn seemed to understand that everyone needed to learn to do this, and while it was quiet, was the perfect time to. There might not always be a big strong manly man there to help me out, you see.  
  
 Once we were in we tiptoed around the probably dead and hopefully not alive corpse at the greeting station. Normally, if we were raiding a small pharmacy we would have split up so Glenn wouldn't feel so awkward around the tampax, but, given that this was a much larger store, we elected to amend the unspoken rule. I was in front of his the closer we got to the feminine hygiene section. I still couldn't believe we were going through these so quickly but then again 7 out of the 19 campers were post pubescent young women so It shouldn't have been a surprise.   
  
I cleared the shelf and we headed out for food. Unfortunately with us constantly raiding supermarkets there was always heavy cans to carry because it was harder to find dried and dehydrated foods like MREs. Glenn and I were just finishing up for the trip when we heard banging on the front doors to the supermarket.   
  
"Shit." He muttered under his breath, looking back to the entrance to see a swarm of the undead by the doors. He grabbed a bag and I grabbed the other running at full pelt towards the back door. We were about to shove the roller door up when we heard the moans on the other side. We backed away slowly and headed for the roof, locking the stairwell door with a set of keys we found jammed in the door.   
  
We charged up the stairs and ducked down low once we were on the flat industrial roof. I popped my head up over the roof walls and eyed the large hoard that had seemingly formed in a matter of minutes. I crawled back towards Glenn who was leaning on an air conditioning unit.   
  
"It's huge. The hoard spans the entire front half car park." I whispered.   
  
"Shit." Glenn panted running his hands through his hair, holding his baseball cap in his hand. "What are we gonna do?"  
  
"Hang on I'm going to go check the back." I replied, breathing heavily bit trying to remain calm. I looked over the edge of the roof on the other side and saw that the back door was blocked by a cluster of Geeks but it wasn't as big as the lot at the front. The loading bay door was free which was good but the exit that way was blocked by a half wall spanning the entire side of the supermarket. If we were able to lure the Geeks over to the loading bay doors somehow we could escape through the back door and run down the street for a bit until we could get to some houses for cover. Work out what to do from there.   
  
"Glenn I've got a plan." I stated.  
  


* * *

  
"Do cell towers use electricity?" I asked Glenn as we grabbed some cans of spray paint we found and wrote, 'Dead inside' on the door from inside the supermarket to the back room and loading area. We'd gone back downstairs while the supermarket was still free of Geeks. We went in and locked it behind us, heading over to the roller doors.   
  
"They do but I'm pretty sure they have backup generators and batteries. That's why we can still use our phones when the power goes out." Glenn explained while we gathered all our supplies and put them by the back door. The roller door to my right rattled as a geek banged into it and we head ungodly moans coming from the other side. We'd grabbed some backpacks earlier and stuffed as much as we could inside them so if we had to ditch the duffles we still had some supplies.   
  
He put on his backpack and handed me mine. I strapped it to my body and picked up my duffle. I stood by the release for the roller door and looked at him.   
  
"You ready?" He nodded at me and I pressed the button on the the loading bay stero. My first kiss by Ke$ha and 3OH3 started playing at full volume. The roller door rattled more and more as the geeks got desparate to get in. I walked over the the door release and got ready to pull the lever. I took a deep breath and took one last look at Glenn. He nodded and breathed out heavily. By the sounds of things there were no Geeks by the back door left. He held on to the doorknob and got ready.   
   
I pulled the lever and released the roller door. The roller door slowly opened up and the dead steadily staggered in. The door had moved in what seemed like slow motion and I'd headed to the back of the loading area. I yelled and waved my hands luring the dead further into the back. Suddenly everything sped up again. I ran over to the door that Glenn had just opened and leapt through it, shutting it behind us. We ran out of the back parking lot and leaned on the side of the building recovering our breath.   
  
"You ready?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Hang on, I've just thought of something." I replied running back towards the roller door as the last of the Geeks were stumbling into the bay. I pulled the lever for the door again and jumped back just as it slammed shut. I sighed in relief and got out out one of the spray cans.   
  
Glenn came back to meet me and saw what I was doing. While I sprayed 'Dead inside' on the roller door, Glenn did the same on the back door and locked it. We ran up to the side wall where we were before and checked for geeks. The noise we had made should have attracted at least a couple. I swung my iconic bat at the closest one and we ran across the 4 lane road in front of us, and straight down the street, back towards the jeep.   
  
I was running out of breath when we neared it and I was glad we were close. But it didn't matter how close we were, we couldn't get back to it. When we neared our town another cluster of Zs was making it's way towards us. I sighed and kept running, leading Glenn down past the street we were supposed to turn onto and instead towards my old neighbourhood. We jumped the fence of the people who used to live behind me. I started to climb the trellis to get over the back fence while Glenn watched anxiously behind him.   
  
"Ooomf." I groaned as I hit the ground on the other side of the wooden fence awkwardly. I rolled out of the way when Glenn came sailing over the top of the fence and landing in a couched position next to me. "I didn't realise you had been to ninja school Glenn."  
  
"I didn't, you just have to be slightly more coordinated than a sloth." He replied as I got to my knees and stood up.   
  
"Did you know sloths sometimes mistake their own arms as tree branches and accidentally fall to the ground mis swing.... oh. Fuck you Glenn." I wandered over to the back door and lifted up a plant pot with the blooming california poppies and pulled the masking tape off the bottom. I put the spare key in the back door and replaced the key, entering the building with my bat up, ready to attack anything that leapt my way.   
  
"How'd you know where the spare key was?" Glenn asked, closing the door behind him.   
  
"I used to live here." I replied. "Back in 2009." I made my way through the kitchen and towards the living room. I shut the front door I'd kicked in last time I was here.   
  
"How come it won't close? Someone kick it in?" Glenn inspected the door while I checked the rooms. Nothing had changed since last I was here and there were no Geeks inside.   
  
I went to the garage next and brought back some planks of wood and a hammer and nails. I held up the planks over the front door while Glenn hammered in the nails. We moved to the front windows then, barricading ourselves inside the house, the only way in or out was the back door. 


	16. Low Class Dave

"2009 huh?" Glenn was holding a black picture frame he'd gotten from the mantel piece. He turned to face me, "Who's this?" he asked handing me the frame.   
  
I let out a small laugh. It was a framed picture of me recreating the presenting scene in the Lion King on our old couch. We had a lot of happy memories of the years. It was easy to forget them though, with all the bad things overshadowing the light. He moved on the next picture which was a framed selfie of myself and John when he was eight.   
  
"That's me just after high school. I was eighteen. It was taken at my grandparents on our old couch, before we got this place." I explained.   
  
"Yeah but who's the kid?" Glenn asked, he handed me the other frame. "Is this the same baby?"   
  
"Yeah. He's my son." I replied simply.   
  
"Woah your son? But that means you got pregnant while you were still in school."   
  
"Yep. Senior year, during an end of year camp up at the lake."  I sat down in my favourite chair by the bookcase and stretched out. I tried to get comfortable but for some reason it just didn't feel the same. I didn't fit into the chair like I used to, it felt lumpy and my groove was all messed up. It didn't smell like me anymore and I could see stains of alcohol and guacamole. I sighed and got out of the chair. It had been over a year now since I last sat in the chair, I don't know why I was expecting it to be the same.   
  
Without another word to Glenn, I made my way into John's bedroom. The bed had stayed unmade from the morning they'd left or maybe it hadn't been made at all. I'd missed so much of my son's life since the court case that I didn't even know what he liked on his sandwiches anymore. He used to like ham and cheese that I'd cut into dinosaur shapes with cookie cutters but what if now he like PB and J with the crusts on. Or what if he didn't like sandwiches at all. Does he brush his teeth every morning and every night? Does he make his bed every day or just leave it and then climb back in at the end of the day? Does Dave read to him every night like I used to? Does he still have a favourite stuffed animal? Which one is it?   
  
I lay lay down on his unmade bed and hugged close to myself, breathing in the old and stale scent of his no more tears shampoo. His bedside table had a thin layer of dust and his toy box was over the floor. I could see his desk had drawings all over it and his waste paper basket was filled with scrunched up paper balls.   
  
I don't know how long I lay there but eventually Glenn came to check up on me. He sat at the foot of the bed while I lay still, unmoving and unspeaking. My breathing was steady and my gaze was miles away, I missed my son more than anything in the world and now that the world was over there was nothing I could do to get him back. All that fighting, all that saving for a lawyer was for nothing.   
  
"So where is he now?" Glenn asked after a few moments of silence.   
  
"With his father." I replied quietly. "I don't know if I'll ever see him again." I croaked.   
  
"I'm sure you will. I mean what were the odds that you'd see Shane and Lori and Carl again? If that can happen you'll find your son." Glenn tried to cheer me up.   
  
"I don't even know where to look." I started. "And when I find him, what makes you think I could just take him. Dave wouldn't let me have custody when we divorced. Now the worlds over I have no hope. All I want is to just hold him one last time. I want to hold him in my arms and never let go. He's not even 10 yet."   
  
"Wouldn't let you have custody? I've seen you with Carl and Sophia, you're great with them how could you not have custody of your own son?"  Confusion held in his voice.  
  
"My marriage ended badly. David wasn't exactly the world's nicest guy before I married him but we were pretty happy before John was born. Even after, John made him so happy. I'm not really sure what went wrong. One day he just came home pissed and well, I guess I knew then he wasn't really the man I thought I married. Well actually for a long time I blamed myself." I explained running my hands through my hair.  
  
 "One time my brother was on leave after one of his tours and he knew, with just one look at me he knew. He knew something wasn't right and the very next day I went out with him for lunch, sporting the biggest bruise yet. Rob beat the shit out of him. John was only 6 then and I couldn't leave him, not with John being so young. I hadn't started my construction job yet and I had no way to support my son and I. I thought about moving back in with my grandparents but they were so old, I didn't want to burden them. After the incident with my brother I started to realize it wasn't my fault though and I gathered up the courage to leave him in early 2009. I lived in my apartment with John until the court case but some how Dave managed to turn it all around on me and he got full custody of our son."  
  
"How?" Glenn asked, exasperated and  confused.   
  
"I have no idea. I was actually in the middle of an appeal before all this walking dead crap." I laughed lightly and flopped back onto the bed. "How did we get here Glenn?"   
  
"I've asked myself the same question." Glenn replied sighing and patting my knee. "Come on. let's go through David's stuff." He dragged me up and to the master bedroom when just a few years ago I'd slept. He leapt on the bed and started pulled the drawers in the nightstand out.   
  
"Huh, Score. I knew you were low class Dave but I didn't realise you were this skeezy." Glenn commented boredly flipping through the magazine. I smiled at his attempt to cheer me up and sat on the bed beside him, going through other drawers.   
  
"These are not mine." I said as I pulled out a frilly pair of pink underwear.   
  
"Maybe they're his." Glenn joked making me laugh at the thought. The next few hours were spent going through the house with a fine tooth comb making jokes along the way. By mid afternoon we'd seen and gone through everything and we were stuffing some old photo albums and some new books for the RV in the duffles.   
  


* * *

  
"So how long you think we'll have to wait here for?" Glenn asked me.   
  
"One way to find out." I replied heading towards the garage to climb up into the crawl space. The idea was to break out through a large vent in the ceiling and stand on the roof to see if the hoards were gone.   
  
Glenn gave me a boost and I was up on the top of the shelf we stored our tools on before Glenn climbed up beside me. I shoved my way into the crawl space and he followed along behind me before he had to stop to give me space to turn around. The vent was jammed shut so I had to put the flat of my foot on it and start kicking and stomping on it until it burst open.   
  
I swiveled back around and was able to fit my hips through the space and pull myself onto the roof. I leaned over the edge and had my arms ready to give Glenn a hand up. I was able to see a few streets ahead and see that the cluster around the jeep was still there but the crowd around the grocery store had dispersed a little. Excluding of course the ones we locked in the back.   
  
"Pssst."  
  
I looked at Glenn, I knew we were on the roof but there was no need to whisper. He looked at me, confused.  
  
"Psssst."  
  
I raised a brow at him and he asked me silent questions with his eyes.   
  
"Pssst!!!" I slowly turned around when I had figured out where the offending noise was coming from and met the second story window of the neighbours place. My old neighbour Giovanni was standing at the window waving his arms. I raised my eyebrow at him and he opened the window.   
  
"Cucciola or should I say Gattina, ah? Come quickly, this way. Bring your friend." He gestured wildly towards me, bringing me towards the window. I stepped forward, placing one foot on the first floor's guttering and let him grab my wrists and pull me in.   
  
I landed on the other side of the window frame on my feet with a bit of a thump. I turned around to see Giovanni doing the same with Glenn and I wiped off the dust from my jeans. "What's the problem G?" I asked once Glenn was settled inside the house.   
  
"Eh no problem Gattina, why you ask?" Giovanni replied probably lying as he walked us down to the ground floor.   
  
"Who are you talking to old man?" Came the familiar voice of Geno, Giovanni's eldest son Gennaro.   
  
"You should be nicer to your father Geno." I called through the house.   
  
"Addison?" Came his confused reply. "What are you doing here?" The all American beef burger got to his feet, arms stretched wide.   
  
"Good to see you Geno, although I wish it could have been on better circumstances." I hugged him back and then I noticed the oversized dog laying on the floor. "Oh my god."  
  
"Yeah, Bella's seen better days." Geno replied.   
  
"My little Cucciola got pregnant before the outbreak and now she's sick." Giovanni sat down by the normally lively German Shepard and stroked her fur.   
  
"What exactly if wrong with her?" I asked kneeling beside the soft and fluffy creature.   
  
"She's been so restless these past few days, and she's stopped eating and she's vomited a few times too." Geno sat back in his chair running his hands through his hair.  
  
"She's probably whelping then." The all looked at me funny so I had to rephrase myself. "In labour."They all suddenly understood and started nodding. "How long exactly has she been pregnant for?"   
  
"About 65 days." Geno replied.   
  
"That's a little too long but nothing to worry about. It's different for every dog. I can't believe you guys let your dog get pregnant but didn't learn anything about whelping." I shook my head at the two.  
  
"I'm sorry we couldn't all grow up on farms in Australia." Geno replied bitterly.   
  
"I didn't grow up on a farm in Australia we had a dog and a couple of sheep, that was it. And plus I moved over here after only a few years of working with them." I replied stroking the dog's fur.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just tell us what to do mother superior." Geno crossed his arms.   
  
"Okay, first let me take the dog's temperature." just as I said that Bella dropped a greyish sack gave me a look. "Never mind."   
  
"What'd you need to take her temperature for?" Glenn asked.   
  
"To find out when that would happen. We should have the first pup within the hour. The time now is 3:45 we should be seeing the first fairly soon. Now, Giovanni do you still have that old radio?" I asked clapping my hands together.   
  
"I haven't used it in years." Giovanni replied rubbing the back of his neck.   
  
"But it still works right? Do you still know how to fix it if it doesn't?" I patted the dog one more time before standing up. "Geno go and get a hot water bottle, towels and the laundry basket." Geno nodded and went off to do his thing.  
  
"Yes, yes I can still fix it I'm not that old." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really tired while I wrote this chapter so I'm sorry if there's really obvious mistakes everywhere. Anyway if you need me I'll be napping.


	17. Don't fight him Addison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a heavy chapter. Well kind of. Lots of things happen and you'll probably want to murder Geno

_"Hey, is anyone there?"_    
  
I turned around towards the the radio and sat knelt beside it.  
  
 _"If anyone's there please respond. My name's Addison West, I'm radioing for King County, Georgia."_  
  
"Addison I do receive you this is Officer Shane Walsh, give us your message, over." I wasn't sure this radio would transmit al, that but I was still technically an officer of the law and I was going to act accordingly.   
  
 _"What?"_ She responded.  
  
"It's Shane." I tried again.  
  
 _"I'm not sure how much of this you'll receive but I'm sorry."_ **Sorry? What the hell for?** _"We got surrounded at the supermarket but we managed to escape unfortunately King County is getting swarmed by the geeks. We took refuge in a barricaded house but we're not going to make it back tonight. It's too risky."_  
  
"But you're okay though?" I responded over the radio. "You're not injured or bit?"   
  
 _"I'm fine for now, Glenn is too. I can't talk much longer."_  
  
"Take care Addison, you back safe is the first priority right now. The other stuff can wait."   
  
"Boy no it can't, we got to eat." Merle's voice boomed from behind.   
  
"Fuck off Merle."  I could hear laughing over the radio, I must have left the receiver on.   
  
 _"Shane don't worry, I'll come back safe with Glenn and the supplies. I know you're going to worry and you'll probably never let me go on a run again but we're fine."_ She said after she finished laughing. "And Shane?"   
  
"Yeah baby?" I replied, wondering what else she had to tell me.  
  
 _"I love you."_ And then there was radio silence after that. Who the hell does she think she is dropping a bombshell like that and not letting me reply.  
  


* * *

  
_"Shut the hell up Merle."_ Shane shouted over the radio. Even with the crappy reception and the crackling voices I was still able to catch the redneck and the response he was met with. Although I did keep missing a few words every few sentences.   
  
"Shane, don't worry, I'll come back saw with Glenn and the supplies. I know you're going to worry and you'll probably never let me go on a run again but we're fine." It was true, he was nervous every time I went out, after this I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again. I mean someone else probably would which was good but I didn't want to be reduced to laundry for the rest of my life because they thought I couldn't do it.    
  
I guess I knew it wasn't really because he thought I couldn't do it, it was because he wanted to protect me. Which was nice after the years I'd spent with David. "And Shane?"  
  
 _"Yeah baby?"_ Came his crackling response.   
  
"I love you." He could be cranky but he cared and that's what I need. Someone to spend the rest of the apocalypse with. And when I got home I was going to tell him, tell him that I was going to have his baby. I switched off the radio and dusted myself off, ready to help deliver those puppies.   
  
"You done, eh, passerotta?" Giovanni asked coming back into the room as I stood up.   
  
"Yeah G, I'm all finished." He lead me back to the living room and I asked Geno to get me some dental floss and some scissors. He would also need to have some hot water ready if we needed it. We didn't have the electricity for a heating pad so we used a hot water bottle that I placed under a few of the towels. We had the laundry basket next to Bella's bed ready for when the first pup dropped.   
  
It wasn't long before she delivered the first one no bigger than my hand. She removed the membrane herself and the puppy started squeaking. Gently once he was breathing on his own I picked up the little pup and put him in the laundry basket where Bella could still see him.   
  


* * *

  
Four hours in and I was beginning to have to remove the membrane myself and cut the umbilical cord. I tied the dental floss and cut the cord about an inch from the tiny jelly bean of a baby. Giovanni was grossed out by the placenta each time but still removed it without a fuss and Geno provided me with disinfectant to sterilize the scissors each time and dip the end of the umbilical cord it. 

  
I had Glenn refill the hot water bottle and after the last puppy was born during hour 6 I didn't stick around to watch the cuteness, I was too tired. I didn't do much but I think it was all the running from earlier today the wiped me out. Giovanni leant me the guest bedroom while I could hear them grilling Glenn in the next bedroom.   
  


* * *

  
  
"So what were you doing up here anyway, huh? You haven't been staying next door or we would have known." Giovanni asked me.  
  
"We were making a run to one of the grocery stores when we got swarmed so Addison took me back here and we'd just been going through old family albums and stuff. You know her ex husband is a real dick." I explained.   
  
"You can say that again." Geno replied putting his feet up on the coffee table.   
  
"I always said she'd be better off marrying my son Geno." Giovanni answered in agreeance.  
  
"Old man you've been trying to fix us up since she moved in and she was married with a child then."  
  
"Ay, ay get your feet off my good table. You think because the apocalypse has started that you can act like a thug? Dio mio." Giovanni shook his head at his adult son and threw his hands apart in a gesture of frustration.  
"That passerotta is a good girl, the kind your mother would have wanted for you."  
  
"Yeah except she would have wanted her unmarried and without me splitting up her pre existing family papa. Addie and I are just friends." Geno rested his hands on the back of his head and crossed his ankles in front of him. I wondered if there was more to it than that.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Eyy! Little bird, wake up." I rubbed my face and stumbled to the bathroom, ignoring Giovanni's antics. As if one wakeup call my morning sickness kicked in and I was throwing up my guts in the toilet. Geno was behind me holding my hair back as I was trying and failing to compose myself and stop puking.   
  
"You okay Addie?" Geno asked while I wiped my chin.   
  
"Yeah." I croaked in reply. "Don't tell Glenn."   
  
"Tell Glenn what?" Glenn asked when we walked into the bedroom shirtless, soaking wet and rubbing his hair dry.   
  
"Dad's gonna give her one of the puppies." Geno replied nonchalantly folding one of the towels.   
  
"Why wouldn't you want to tell me that?" Glenn asked confused.  
  
"Because I thought you wouldn't let me keep it." I tried to come up with a good lie.   
  
"Nah I love puppies, it's Shane you've gotta worry about." I nodded and got up off the floor rinsing my mouth out with water and stretching.   
  
"You ready to get going?" I asked going to collect my things.   
  
"Uh actually Addie, I've got a favour to ask." Geno rubbed the back of his neck. Uh oh.  
  
"What?" I responded, hoping it would be something small.  
  
"Since Bella's out of action for a while and Dad, well he's old you know? Could you give me a hand on making a run and collecting supplies?" Geno asked, damn it. I so owed him for staying over but then again I delivered his puppies.   
  
"What do you need?" I asked with a sigh.  
  
"Addison, what are you doing, we don't owe him anything, you delivered his puppies last night!" Glenn whisper yelled when he pulled me aside.   
  
"No, you don't have to do anything but I owe him something. They helped me out of a tough spot a few years ago and I don't think supervising the birth of some fluffy jelly beans is gonna cover it." I replied running my hands through my tangled hair.   
  
Glenn sighed, agreeing to help me with whatever they wanted, readjusting his baseball cap. We walked back into the bathroom where everyone had been congregating and Geno told us his cousin had a warehouse for all his overflow stock for the grocery store he owned. He said if we went with him and raided it the debt would be repaid and we'd be even.   
  
"Okay fine. Get the map, where is this warehouse?" I rolled my shoulders and leaned on the table, jacket in hand. It was still early so the air was cool, plus in geek territory it wasn't wise to go wandering around uncovered.   
  


* * *

  
  
"You got the keys to this warehouse?" I asked holding my gun out at the ready. I didn't care if I alerted our presence to every geek in the county, we were in sketchy territory.   
  
"No." Came his clipped, short reply. I sighed and rolled my eyes, clicking the safety back on my gun and tucking back into the back of my pants. Glenn moved forward to pick the lock on the roller door and I stood on guard, back to back with him, baseball bat at the ready. Geno took the corner of the building, ready for anything that came past.   
  
After a few minutes of struggle, we got the roller door only to be blasted with the assaulting stench of the dead. We heard familiar growls and I jumped a few feet back,dragging Glenn with me.   
  
"What the fuck Geno?!" I called after him and he came running over, as I dodged the swipe of a decayed hand.   
  
"I don't know!? They shouldn't be here." I stopped in shock when he realised who they were.   
  
I swung my spikey bat knocking one to the ground and stomped on the geek's head, ripping the bat from the skull  it had stuck to. I jumped to the left and swung again as Glenn was savagely beating walkers with his crowbar. The hoard pushed us back but it was either fight or flight and weren't exactly in the position to flee. Geno stood back and watched in horror, I had a fair idea of why he could be shocked but we didn't have time.   
  
"Geno either pick up a weapon and start smashing heads or get out of the way!!" I screamed attracting the attention of a nearby geek that I had to punch in the face to knock it back a few steps before I could beat it's rotting head in.   
  
"It's my cousins." He replied, still stationary. He was behind me now and slightly to my right and in between the assault on the dead and gone I shoved him out of my way and out of the way of the incoming geeks.   
  
Glenn and I were panting, the hoard that never tires was taking it's toll on us as Geno just stood there. "They're gone Geno, long gone you need to pull yourself together or get out of the damned way!! You can't just stand there." I called still beating the ever living fuck out of his deceased family members.   
  
He eventually was either pulled to his senses or pulled out of the way by Glenn because he was out of the way now and I was able to put the final blow on the last few geeks on my immediate path. I did a head check and looked for Glenn, he for the most part had everything under control but there were a few sneaking up on his flank that I took care of.   
  
When we finally did clear them all I couldn't see Geno anywhere. "Oh for fucks sake." I groaned. Glenn did the same after my exclamation and sighed.   
  
"I don't see him on the ground anywhere, I don't think he was bit or anything." Glenn put his hands on the back of his head, resting them there with his elbows apart.   
  
"He might have run off." I replied, he could be anywhere by now or he could be inside. "I mean he was never a chicken when I knew him but this is a completely different ball game."  
  
"Well, I suggest we go in and see what we can scavenge anyway. Get some supplies for Giovanni and see if there's anything we can bring back for the group and then head back to the house. We should drop off the supplies and head back to the quarry while we still can." Glenn planned out what we should do while I peered around us in a last ditch attempt to find him and I nodded.   
  
"Yeah, as sad as it is to say, he's not my responsibility. We agreed to the the job and once we do it we don't have the time or manpower to go and find him. Every minute we spend out here is a minute we're in danger." I agreed.   
  
"Okay, you take the right side of the warehouse I'll take the left, call out if anything happens." Glenn pointed me into the building but I shook my head.   
  
"I don't know Glenn, I know it's more time consuming to go about this together but if there's still more in there I want someone watching my back. Safety in numbers and whatnot." I explained and he agreed and we took the left side of the warehouse. It was mainly off produce and we'd made it to the middle before we found anything good.   
  
We grabbed what we could for our Italian friends and in a separate bag we were able to squeeze in some dried food and a few of the lighter tins for our group. I couldn't carry much as I didn't want to risk pushing myself but I think Glenn might have just assumed that he was able to carry more because of the natural strength difference between men and women.   
  
I didn't mind though, Glenn was one of those guys who never assumed you couldn't do something because you were a girl he just knew that guys and girls were different. And that unique perspective was either brought by Glenn being a complete enigma by male standards or due to him having quite a few sisters.   
  
Glenn took the brunt of the heavier bags while we stocked up and then we closed the roller door, making the trek back to Giovanni's house. I couldn't decide if I wanted to run into Geno again along the way or when we got there, because on one hand he was scared and no one ever know how they're going to react in these kind of situations. However he did just abandon us while we were getting over run, it could have ended much worse for us than it did which pissed me off. And I think if Glenn wasn't as tired as he was he'd be pissed too.   
  
It took a good half an hour of detouring before we got back to my old house where we slipped into the back yard, separated out all of our things from the rest and then headed over to big G's house. When we managed to get Giovanni to let us in, we discovered that Geno was already back home and looking pretty well rested for someone who back tracked all the way home and abandoned his friends. I breathed out a frustrated breath and dumped my bag down in the kitchen.   
  
"So, you're back Geno." I commented and I received a warning glance from Glenn who would probably throttle me if I started a fight right now.   
  
"Yeah, what took you guys so long?" He replied. I bit my tongue.  _'Don't fight him Addison.'_ I thought, really wanting to beat his perfect little face in. The longer I spent with and around him the angrier I got even though it was all his fault. Seriously though if he says he thought we were right behind him or any of that BS I'm going to come back in the middle of the night and murder him.   
  
"Well after we took care of the hoard you left us with, we had to make sure we got you the food you needed to live. Now, if you'll excuse us, Glenn and I have to be going." I said through gritted teeth, gripping tightly to my shirt fabric.   
  
I said my goodbyes to Giovanni the innocent party in all this and gave him some tips on looking after the pups. Glenn and I headed out of my place with our bags and made the painstaking trip back to my parked jeep. We were almost there and I wasn't fully paying attention when Glenn grabbed my shoulder and dragged me back behind someone's house.   
  
He put a finger up to his lips and then pointed to a few stray zombies wandering around to the left of the Jeep. He waved over to the right and we had to bypass the direct route to the car and had to go around a block of houses in order to get to the right side of the car.   
  
Another 20 minutes passed and we were waiting by the corner of the house next to the parked wrangler. I unlocked the car and the lights flashed and we waited a few minutes to see if it attracted any of the undead. For the most part they seemed to check it out for only a moment but they continued their aimless wandering around the street. I guess because that was the only movement they saw they didn't think much of it and moved on. Think, haha, that's a good one. These things don't think, they're empty shells of the people they used to be and only possess the basic human instincts like hunt, feed and move. They're not smart and they don't sleep. Whatever these things are, they're not human anymore and when we get the chance, they need to put to an end.  
  
Glenn leaned in close to my ear. "Right, I'm going to try and sneak up to the car with a few of the bags and slip into the back seat on this side. When I give you the signal I want you to do the same and jump in the front seat, and take us home." He whispered into my ear, his warm breath on my neck.   
  
I nodded and it wasn't long before he was gone and crouching along the ground, staying low and to the line of shrubs outside people's houses. When he finally got to the car he reached up ever so slowly and lightly tugged the door open, which seemed to make the loudest noise in the world. He slid his duffle across the backseat and then tossed in his backpack, getting in and closing the door as softly as he could behind him.   
  
The shutting of the door turned the heads of the geeks closeby and I took a careful step back, further behind the house I was shielding myself with. Glenn laid down on the backseat and the geeks wandered up to the Jeep for a bit, checking out the offending vehicle and when they found no movement they wandered away again. I gave it a few minutes before I headed out, following the path Glenn took on his way to the car. Or I would have had I not heard a growl coming from directly behind me.   
  
Glenn signaled for me to make my way over but I was a little busy taking care of the sneaky geek grabbing at my arm. I tried to wrestle and shake him off of me but it was to no avail. I almost dropped my bat as I was shoved against the exterior wall of the house I was sheltered behind and I struggled to avoid the gnashing teeth of the snapping monster before me. I shoved the bat into it's throat trying to push it back while I grabbed my knife from my thigh, getting ready to stab at it. It snapped at me some more while I struggled and I managed eventually to stab it through the ear with a crunch.  
  
I moved my bat and it dropped on the grass beside me, alerting Glenn as to why I was fucking around behind this house. I stood on it's neck and yanked my knife out it's skull, looking around to see if I'd grabbed the attention of any other geeks.   
  
The dropping of the corpse seemed to attract the attention of a few of the geeks on the other side of the jeep and Glenn was waving frantically at me. I got down low and ran like hell along the shrubs, to my car, not thinking too much about the amount of noise I was making. I slipped the backpack off one shoulder when I got to the jeep and I swung it into the backseat, after I'd opened the door, almost taking out Glenn when I did so.   
  
I leapt into the driver's seat and I locked the doors, fumbling with the keys a little before sticking them in the ignition and putting the reverse parked vehicle into drive. I don't know what I was thinking when I pulled into the driveway the way I did but it was damned convenient for sneaking into the wrangler the way we did and making a speedy getaway. I turned out onto the road and ran down the geeks in my path, knocking them over and breaking several limbs but I doubt I killed any.   
  
"Maybe circle around a bit before we head back to make sure we ditch them all and don't lead them back to the quarry." Glenn piped up from the backseat, and I nodded breathlessly, my heart racing in my chest.   
  
"You want to radio the group and tell them we're on our way back?" I asked after regaining my breath. Glenn climbed into the front seat, over the bags and the sloshing plastic jerry cans in the back. He set up the CB on the dash and sent out a call.   
  
It was around half nine in the morning so the most of the group should be up and about. Glenn spoke into the receiver and asked for confirmation that anyone was listening and I relaxed significantly when Shane's familiar voice sounded over our side of the radio.


	18. When were you going to tell me?

After Addison ended her call on the radio there wasn't much else to do for the day so I wandered back to our tent to find something to do. Addison had a few magazines laying around somewhere and although gossip magazines didn't really appeal to me I knew she had a few car magazines tucked away somewhere. Although, I suspect she just looked at the pictures as, besides changing the oil, tires and replacing the wiper fluid she didn't have any mechanical knowledge whatsoever.   
  
I unzipped the flap and ducked inside, shutting the door behind me and flopping down on the bed. I let out a comfortable sigh and I mentally thanked Addie for being such a weird panic packer. This was camping in style. I rested my hands behind my head for a moment, closing my eyes and relaxing. I was bored. No Addie, no jobs to do and I didn't feel like entertaining Carl right now. I sat up and figured I'd look for that magazine I saw earlier.   
  
I knelt in in front of her bag and unzipped some of the flaps. I did feel a little bed practically going through her things like this but I figured she wouldn't mind if I was just grabbing a magazine I mean I wasn't going through her stuff. I'm reading too much into this, that's what girls do. I ain't no girl.   
  
I had to pull out her clothes and some other things from her bag in order to get to to the magazines that were packed tightly together. When I finally found the right one I had to shake it free and tug it from her pack. There was small rattle and something fell out of her bag when I did, so I tossed the magazine on the bed and went to work stuffing her things back inside, albeit a little haphazardly.   
  
Finally ready to relax I was on the last item I had to return to her bag. It was a pill bottle. ' _Huh. I wonder what she's taking.'_ It was probably aspirin or something. I brought the bottle up off the floor to read it and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Prenatal vitamins. _'I'm gonna be a dad.'_ I put my head in my hands and reused my elbow on my knees. _'When was she gonna tell me? Why didn't she tell me?'_  
  


* * *

  
  
Glenn and I pulled into the quarry, feeling exhausted even though it was barely halfway through the day. I yawned and rubbed my face, resting my elbows on the leather steering wheel. I stuffed the keys in my pocket and opened my car door. Glenn was already out of the passenger side and walking around the front of the jeep making his way to sit down by the fire.   
  
I stepped out of the wrangler and before I could process what was happening I was on the ground looking up and the mid-morning blue sky. I never realised I'd attracted the attention of the rest of the camp by falling on my backside.   
  
"What just happened?" I asked no one in particular when I sat up.   
  
Daryl was watching me from the far circle around the campfire and Lori and Andrea were looking me with shocked expressions. Carol had already run over and was kneeling beside me. Carol was so nice.   
  
I jumped from the jeep, and immediately I was scanning the camp for Shane. He was standing by the fire, looking like he hadn't slept all night. I wasn't surprised though he was probably just worried. Glenn made his way back from the campfire as Dale was climbing down from his spot on top of the RV.   
  
"Addie, are you okay?"  
  
"Addie what happened?" Glenn and Carol asked simultaneously.   
  
"I don't know. One minute I was standing up and the next I was laying down. My ankle is killing me though." I replied looking down at my swollen left ankle.   
  
"Did you dislocate it?" Glenn asked scratching the back of his neck.   
  
Daryl hadn't started sharpening his bolts again, instead he was continuing to watch me carefully. Dale had toddled over with the first aid kit from the RV and was kneeling beside Carol, attending to my ankle. Glenn was now perched on the hood of the wrangler waiting to see what was going on, much like the other campers.   
  
While Carol and Dale were dressing my swollen appendage I noticed their were several members of the group missing; mostly the males. It was possible some of them had slept in today, however, Morales, Shane, Merle, T-Dog, Jim and Ed were missing. I suspected Ed was probably still in bed as he usually was at this time of the morning but I usually ate breakfast with Morales, T-Dog and Jim.   
  
"Where is everyone?" I asked eventually.   
  
"Some of the guys went out to gather supplies from the highway this early this morning, in case," Dalel tried to explain.  
  
"In case we didn't come back." I finished with a sigh.  
  
"No." Carol exclaimed, shocked that I would think that. "No, no, dear. Yesterday before you radioed, Jim asked why we were always sending the two of you out to King County when we had the possibility of other supplies closer by. So Shane said he'd go out with a group today and see what they could find."  
  
"Oh." I replied suddenly feeling a little awkward.   
  
"Now Addison, I need to ask you something very important." Dale started. "Did you get bit?"  
  
"No." I answered honestly.   
  
"Did you get scratched?" He asked next.   
  
"No. You can check me over if you like." I offered.   
  
"No, no, that's quite alright. I believe you." Dale waved it off, he should have checked me over. I would have in his position, but I was pretty sure I hadn't been bit or scratched. "Now, you'll need to keep off that foot for a while. You just twisted it but you should still be careful."   
  
"So I've just gotta sit here for the rest of the day?" I raised an eyebrow. Somebody better get me some sunblock.   
  
Glenn jumped off the hood and helped Carol get me to my feet as Dale laughed at my retort. I was struggling to lean all my weight on my good leg and my friends so I kept slipping. Suddenly strong arms were wrapped around my waist and I was lifted up and landed in someone's toned arms.   
  
I looked up to the face of resident redneck Daryl Dixon. "If you're gonna say anything I'll put you back down." He warned as I raised my eyebrow. "Where you goin'?" He asked, beginning to walk.  
  
"Could you just take me back to my tent?" I asked stifling a yawn.   
  
"Yo Chinaman get the door." He called out to Glenn ahead of him to unzip the tent flap.   
  
He ducked inside the door and dropped me unceremoniously down onto the airbed - which I'm surprised didn't pop as he did - and left as quickly as he'd entered.   
  
"Thank you!" I called out after him. I heard a grunt outside the tent which I assumed was acknowledgment. I lay there for a few moments trying to relax before I realised I wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon. I reached over to the bag beside my bed which seemed a little different than I left it but I shrugged it off. I dug around in there until I found a magazine and I pulled it out and began to read it.   
  
Well, more like look at the pictures. The text I could read was really boring so I never really bothered. Plus it was more fun to make up my own stories. I was flicking through the pages of a fishing magazine when I remembered I hadn't taken my prenatal vitamin for the day. I dug around in the bag for my pill bottle, waiting to hear the familiar rattle of the tablets inside plastic. But I never did.   
  
"Huh. That's weird." I thought out loud. I must have put it somewhere else by accident. Oh well I'd have to go find them when I could walk again. I shrugged it off and went back to my fishing magazine. Carol brought in some lunch to me while I was flicking through the pages and sat and ate with me, while we talked about my magazines. When she left I leant her one of my girlier fashion magazines and went back to reading mine. Around 1 I dozed off and decided to take a quick nap. I hadn't slept great last night anyway.   
  


* * *

  
  
I woke up and the sun was lower in the sky. I checked my watch and it was around 4. The temperature would be just coming down from it's peak and the cool evening air would be setting in. I stretched and rolled my shoulders back to wake myself up.   
  
"Knock, knock." I heard Dale call from outside my tent.   
  
"Come in." I responded with a smile.   
  
"I thought you might be getting bored just sitting around, cooped up in you tent so I dug this out." He gestured to the walking stick he was waving around.   
  
"Dale, you walk fine, where did you get a walking stick from?" I asked with a laugh.   
  
"It was my wife's." He said sadly, looking down.  
  
"Oh, sorry." I replied guiltily.   
  
"You're quite all right, I just miss her is all." He answered, patting my shoulder and leaving me with the stick.   
  
I wondered if Shane was back from his trip yet. It was getting late and I wondered how long he'd be out on the highway for. I got up slowly, leaning a lot of my weight on the walking stick. I took a shaky step and moved with the walking stick. After a few practice runs around the tent I was ready to take a stroll outside.   
  
I headed back to the main part of camp, by the fire, first to see what was happening. Slowly I made my way there and stopped by one of the logs for a rest. Lori sat by me for a while, we talked about the trip and I told her about Geno and Giovanni. She told me about what I'd missed while I was gone and that Shane was back and he'd been sitting by the quarry ever since. I said my goodbyes and shambled my way over to the hill leading down to the quarry.  
  
There sitting on a rock in our usual spot was Shane, looking like he hadn't slept in days and like he was ready to quit any minute. I shuffled my way over to him and perched beside him on the rock. He either ignored me or hadn't noticed I was there, the latter would have to be a miracle considering the amount of noise I made coming over to him.  
  
"Hey." I said, alerting him to my presence   
  
"Hey." He barely replied, looking out over the water. I slipped my hand in his and entwined our fingers.   
  
"You don't have to be worried anymore. Everything is going to be okay." I gave his hand a squeeze and smiled warmly at him.  
  
"What happened to your ankle?" He asked, looking down at the swollen, bandaged, bulge in my right shoe.   
  
"I sprained it somehow on the run we did yesterday. I never noticed until I got back today and fell out of the jeep." I almost laughed. "One minute I was standing the next minute I was on the ground. I'm okay though as long as I keep my weight off it for a while. Dale lent me his wife's walking stick so that's good. We managed to get extra supplies than we planned for to make up for the late homecoming."   
  
He was soundless as I spoke and when I had nothing left to tell him there was an uncomfortable silence as we sat staring at the setting sun. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair rubbing at my scalp.   
  
"Shane, there's something I need to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for so long but I was afraid tha.." I started rambling as I tried to get the words out.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me Addie." Shane interrupted. "Is it not mine, is that it? Did you not tell me because you thought I'd leave you was that it? Did you think that I wasn't good enough? Addie how could you keep something like this from me? You said you loved me yesterday but how could you when you kept this from me?"  
  
"Shane? I..I.. what are you talking about? What's wrong?" I think he might have been talking about the baby but how could he have known?  
  
"This is what's wrong!!" He yelled, stuffing the pill bottle in my hands. "Is it not mine?"   
  
"How, how could you say something like that?" his words wounded me. "Shane I do love you, you're the one who makes me feel safe after all these years. You wrap me up in your big arms every night and I fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat and I know everything is going to be okay. You understand me and you treat me like I'm a human being. With you I'm not a punching bag or something you possess, I feel important when I'm with you."  
  
"THEN WHY KEEP THIS FROM ME?!" His voice echoed around the rocky walls of the quarry.   
  
"Shane let me finish." I bit back tears, my voice cracking. I was hurt he was yelling and not trusting me but I was more hurt seeing him in so much pain.   
  
"Why should I?" He snarled.  
  
"Because you asked me a lot of questions I assume you still want answered." I replied in a low voice, upset with his tone.   
  
"Then hurry up. I don't know if I have the time for you anymore." He responded angrily.  
  
I let out a cracked squeak, a pain filled my chest and I felt like throwing up. Was he saying he didn't love me anymore? Did he love me at all? "Shane." I sobbed. He looked at me with injury in his eyes. His hard expression and his harsh glare never softened.   
  
"I.. I.." I started wiping my eyes. "Shane."  
  
"Get on with it." He barked.   
  
"The day I left your house I was the happiest I'd ever been since the divorce. I was getting my life back and I was heading into a relationship where someone cared. It was when I was walking through the park that I realised what had happened, what we'd just done and the fact that all the times we slept together that night and the next day then neither of us had thought to fucking use a condom any of those times. I dropped to my knees in the middle of the park, already feeling like I was ready to puke. We'd just met, now I could be pregnant and I didn't know what to do." I explained trying not to cry anymore than I already had.  
  
"Then what?" demanded.   
  
"Rick found me curled up in a ball in the dirt. At first he didn't know it was me, I begged him to take me to Lori she was the closest I had to family at that point and she was so much wiser than me. I needed someone to tell me what to do, I was so young the last time I got pregnant and I was worried I'd have to do it alone. I thought that if you found out you might not want me or the potential baby. I waited till I knew, I knew for sure I was pregnant and then I called you up, I tried to arrange dinner. I wanted to see you in person to tell you that we were going to have a baby and that I didn't know what to do without you because I couldn't do it on my own. I couldn't do it because I'd failed John and I didn't want to ruin anymore lives." I sobbed, the pain in my chest feeling like someone had a vise grip on my heart. "You never answered, not once. You never returned my calls and you avoided me in person. I was so angry you'd abandoned me without a second thought I knew Rick was shot and that hurt me too, he was my family too but I couldn't understand how you'd just dropped me."  
  
"So you never told me because you wanted to punish me?" He seethed.   
  
"No!!" I yelled back. "I could never.."  
  
"Then what is it!?" He cried out.  
  
"I was crushed. I planned a camping trip to go and to clear my head and then I was going to go and find you and I was going to make you listen. But before I even got to go I woke up to the world ending and I was alone. I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew I had to find you, I needed you. And then when I finally found you I looked at you and I was so angry you never spared me a second thought. I couldn't tell you." I said through hot, angry and pained tears. "Then you told me you cared and you were sorry you never got back to me and I believed you. I decided that I'd try and make things work with you. We were fighting all the time but if we could just make it work for a little while then I was going to tell you. I wanted to wait till you loved me for me and I knew you weren't with me just because you felt you had to."   
  
"So when were you going to tell me? How far along are you?"  
  
"I knew you loved me because when I radioed you all you wanted was me to safe and you cared about my wellbeing. I knew you were nothing like David and you'd never hurt me. I told you I loved you and I decided that as soon as I saw you again I was going to tell you that I was pregnant and you were going to be a daddy." I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. I felt like we were breaking up and it was all my fault. I should have told him right from the start. As soon as I had realised I should have walked right back to Shane's house and told him. I wish I hadn't been such an idiot and I was praying he's still love me after this.   
  
"How long?"  
  
"Ten weeks." I replied, trying to breath normally.   
  
"You had almost three months to tell me and you never thought to just come over and tell me. We've been sleeping in the same bed for over a month now, we're together all the time. You should have told me when you first suspected." He was hurt and I understood why but all I wanted to do was hug him and have him hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay but it wasn't.  
  
"I know." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot and it's all my fault and I wanted to tell you every day but I was afraid that.."  
  
"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I'M THAT KIND OF GUY?!?!" He shouted. "Addie ever since I met you you're all I've ever wanted, I'd never have left you because you were having a baby. I would have married you and cared for you and I would have made you the happiest girl in the world."  
  
"I didn't know that!" I yelled back in frustration. "I'd just met you and I was just learning what it was like to be alive again after being married to a monster. I trusted no one, because the last person I loved and gave all my heart to ore me to shreds and took my son the only light left in my life away from me and I had nothing left when I met you. I was learning to love again because I had Carl and Lori and Rick in my life and they showed me there was still good people left. I was just learning to trust when the rug was pulled up from under me and left me helpless and scared." He sighed and looked down at his knees.   
  
"You know what I was going to tell you when we were sitting on these rocks? I was going to tell you that I loved you and it didn't matter that the world we knew was over. It didn't matter because as long as I had you my life always meant something and I knew I was making the right calls. I was going to tell you that even though I hadn't known you for long that it felt like it was forever. I wanted to tell you that I was ready to settle down and stop all the one night stands since I met you." He was quiet now, not yelling and I was crushed with this news because I knew it was my fault he never told me.  
  
"Shane..." I started trying to speak, to beg for his forgiveness.   
  
"But you don't deserve to hear those words. I'm so glad I decided to wait a little longer and hold my tongue because I learnt what kind of person you really are. I learnt that you didn't trust me and you couldn't even tell me the person you claim to love, you didn't trust me enough with my own baby. I would have loved you and and taken care of you both. I was going to ask you to be mine forever, I wanted to marry you. But you don't deserve this ring."  
  
I never noticed him holding it before but he'd been holding a red velvet box in his hands the whole time and he opened it to reveal the most beautiful engagement ring I'd ever laid eyes on. There were three eye catching jewels, the centre one was a white opal and the two on either side were zircon or very polished and perfect blue opals. There was an intricate carving in the silver band that had tiny diamonds encrusted in them.  
  
My last engagement was a small onion ring Dave had found in his take out and slipped on my finger. Later my grandmother gave me her wedding ring and I treasured it to this day. It was one of the many personals I was carrying in the box I had brought with me from under my bed.   
  
As quickly as he'd taken it out of the box he threw it down the hill and out into the water filled quarry.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Shane!" I heard her scream she was no longer sitting beside me, she'd dropped to her knees and stayed there since I'd started talking about what I was going to tell her all those weeks ago when I was really stupid.   
  
Maybe I'd gone to far with all the things I'd said to her, I was angry and I was hurt but she had lied to me when all I wanted was her happiness and trust. I stood up and started walking away. At that point she stopped holding in her sobs and she started crying hysterically. I was a several feet away now and I wish I hadn't looked back to see her lying in the gravel and dust, gasping for breath.   
  
All I wanted to do was turn around and hold her and say I was sorry but I meant everything I said and she shouldn't have lied to me and kept from me that we were going to have a baby. We were in the middle of the apocalypse, there was flesh eating monsters roaming around and she was pregnant. That's something I should know about. I was letting her go out on runs risking both her life and our unborn child's life when literally anyone else could have been doing it. Last month she was building a damn fence and she could have overdone it something could have gone wrong and and... I just wish she'd have told me.   
  
I loved her, and you're supposed to be able to trust the one you love right? She had turned out to be exactly like all those other girls I'd given a key to.   
  
I was somewhere far off in the forest now, I hadn't been paying attention to where I was going and I dropped to my knees. I held my head in my hands and let out everything I'd been holding in myself. I just loved her so damn much. Hot, burning tears ran down my face and I ran my hands over my cheeks, wiping them away as quickly as I fell.   
  
I felt like screaming but all I wanted was to run back to the quarry and hold Addie and tell her that I loved her over and over until everything was better. 


	19. Finding Precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but also not

First it was hard to breath, then there were no sobs and the tears were uncontrollable. Then when there was no tears left I just lay there in the dirt and the gravel for what seemed liked a thousand years. The afternoon sun was almost gone and the sunset had started. It must have been almost dinner, but I couldn't think about dinner. All I could think about was Shane and the pain I was feeling right now. My head was full but empty at the same time. I couldn't think about anything except our argument because it was all that was running through my head.   
  
I thought about the rin and how Shane had just thrown it off into the abyss like that and I felt even more crushed. It was deflating and I knew I would never find another relationship like this again. I grabbed the walking stick and pushed myself off the ground. I headed down the hill further until I got the the shore. I wandered back and forth along it scanning the ground, looking for something glittering. The whole land was barren of anything but rocks and dirt. So I turned around again, this time taking off my shoes and stepping into the cool, blue water. I got down low, leaning mostly on the walking stick and I ran my hands through the water and over the cavern floor trying to find a vaguely ring shaped object. I would do this all night if I had to and I was going to find it.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Has anyone seen Addie or Shane?" Lori Grimes asked at dinner by the campfire.   
  
"I saw Shane earlier stomping off into the woods." Glenn answered her almost instantly with a mouth full of food.  
  
"I haven't seen Addie since she went down to the quarry." Carol replied as well.  
  
"For her very loud argument." Glenn added.   
  
"They're just going through a rough patch." Lori responded. "It's nobody else's business but theirs."   
  
"Well it is if our group leader is going to go taking tantrums in the woods every time he gets into a tif with his girlfriend." Andrea retorted.  
  
"Andrea!" Amy scolded.   
  
"That was way more than just a tif man. That was some next level shit." T-Dog corrected as he munched on his dinner.   
  
"It doesn't matter what it was," Lori interrupted. "I'm sure Shane will be back anytime now and their relationship remains their relationship as per usual. We don't get to comment on it, it's only involving the two of them."  
  
"Yeah, and who said Shane was the boss anyway?" Ed piped up.  
  
"Shut up Ed." Andrea called across the campfire at him.   
  


* * *

  
  
I'd been wandering around for hours now trying to clear my head. I was still upset with Addison but I couldn't keep strolling through the forest at night when I was supposed to be with the group. My relationship with Addison couldn't interfere with the group's safety and I wouldn't let our personal problems reflect on the group either.   
  
I headed back in the in what I hoped was the general direction back to camp and managed to get back just as the last of the group was heading to bed. I didn't speak to anyone as I headed to bed, sliding under the covers when I was in my boxers, wondering where Addie was but also thanking my lucky stars there was no awkward interactions or altercations when I got back to the tent.   
  
I tried to relax my body and get to sleep but just like last night I was having no luck. My mind was filled with just the thoughts of Addison except instead of the constant questions of 'why didn't she tell me?' and 'was it even mine?' I was thinking about what going through this all alone was like. I wondered how many times she spoke to me trying to tell me she was pregnant and instead changing her mind at the last second. I wondered if she was kept up late at night because of the worry about doing this along. I wonder why she felt like she couldn't tell me.   
  
Did she really think I was the kind of guy that would just leave her? Did she think I'd make her get rid of it? Did she think I'd love her any less for giving me a child of my own? Why couldn't she just trust me? Why did it have to end like this?  
  


* * *

  
  
It was too dark to see how far out in the quarry I'd gotten but I wasn't going to give up. There was no way I'd be able to sleep without it. I have to find it. If I found it... I didn't know what would happen if and when I found it, I only knew that I had to find it. It was all I could think about, I was desperate to find the damned thing even though my skin felt like ice and my hands were covered in cuts and scraped from digging through the lake's floor.   
  
I could swear there were fish swimming around me as I searched and for a moment I wondered if one of them had accidentally eaten the ring. I shook my head; that was unlikely. I'd abandoned the walking stick earlier and spent most of my time crawling through the water. as it got deeper I was ducking under the water, searching the ground and then coming back up for air. I would find it if it was the last thing I ever did.  
  


* * *

  
"Still no sign of Addie?" Carol asked at breakfast. I stayed quiet, not letting on I was listening or even cared about their conversation.   
  
"No sign at all." Lori replied before Glenn sat down between the two of them.   
  
"I checked the whole fence line, in her car and in her tent. She is nowhere to be seen." Glenn said grabbing a bowl of cereal.  
  
"Where could she be?" Lori bit her thumb worriedly.   
  
I'll admit as mad as I was it was a little concerning that she had been gone since last night and no one had seen her since out argument.   
  
"I'm sure she'll turn up. She always comes back from her runs, she's a tough cookie." Carol said after a moment.   
  
"Yeah but she doesn't usually get into screaming matches with the geeks when we go out on runs." Glenn replied cynically.   
  
"Ay you got something to say Glenn? 'Cause I'd love to hear it." I bellowed across the fire at him.   
  
"Yeah I got something to say, this is your fault asshole and you should be worried that's she's been missing all night." He snapped at me.  
  
"This ain't my fault boy, you don't know nothing." I replied. What did he know? He didn't know anything about our fight.  
  
"I know now thanks to you my best friend hasn't been seen in 16 hours." He replied irritatedly, finishing up his cereal and storming off, not bothering to wait for my response. Asshole.  
  
I looked at the two women, daring them to say anything, but they didn't. They just shared a look and went back to eating. When they were done they collected their laundry and headed down to the quarry. I watched them leave and then went back to my soggy cereal.   
  
"Well you're back then boss man." Merle commented when he sidled up.   
  
"You and Daryl should go hunting today. Get some fresh meat." I replied, generally ignoring his antics. He nodded and went off to find his brother.   
  


* * *

  
"Addie have you been out here all night?" Lori Grimes asked as she watched the blonde duck in and out of the water, muttering about finding something.  
  
"Addie are you okay?" She asked when she received no response from the girl.  
  
"Addison, yoohoo." Carol waved at the swimming girl. As if on cue Addison swam towards shore and crawled the last while when it was too shallow to swim. She got out of the water, pushing herself up with the walking stick and stood in one shoe. The two women watched the girl walk briskly up the hill, back towards camp, completely ignoring them.   
  


* * *

  
I couldn't see anything on the bottom of the lake, the only way I would get to if there was more light. The sun wasn't bright enough yet so I had to take evasive measures. I went back to camp after swimming through to shore and walked up the hill. I climbed into the trunk of the wrangler and searched for my waterproof torch. That would bring enough light under the water. I went back down the hill as quickly as I could and I stepped into the icy water. I'm pretty sure I was wearing one of my shoes but it didn't matter. I had to find the ring.   
  
"Addie? What's wrong? What are you doing with that torch dear?" I heard Carol ask from nearby.   
  
"I have to find if Carol." I responded, crawling deeper into the water so I could go back to swimming and looking for the ring. I was pretty sure it was in deeper water.   
  
"Find what Addie?" Lori asked but I didn't have time to answer stupid questions.   
  
"Why do you have to find it Addie?" Carol asked a few moments later.  
  
I stopped and looked at the two women for a second to see if she was serious. "If I find it, everything will be better." I replied and ducked back down under the water with the torch light on.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Hang on Carol, I'm going to go and get Glenn, see if he can get her out of there." Lori put down her washing and walked back up the hill to the tents. She walked along the rows until she found the brooding young adult sulking outside his tent.   
  
"We found her Glenn." She told him, kneeling in front of him.  
  
"Where was she?" He asked.   
  
"Well that's the problem. She's in the quarry and she won't come out. She keeps muttering about finding it and if she finds it everything will be better." Lori explained, standing and dusting herself off.   
  
"Okay.." Glenn replied, weirded out by what he'd just been told. "I'll come see if I can coax her out of the water."  
  


* * *

  
  
"Addie why are you out in the water?" Glenn asked me as I was halfway through the left side of the quarry.   
  
"Glenn I don't have time for this I have to find it." I replied ducking back under the water. When I came back up he was taking his shoes off and wading out into the water.  
  
"Well if you tell me what you're looking for maybe I can help you look and save time." He suggested.   
  
"No, I have to find it myself. It has to be me or it won't matter." I replied crawling through the shallows and putting the torch in my mouth so I could search with both hands. I was growing weary now but I couldn't give up. I had to find it.   
  
"What won't matter Addie, talk to me." Glenn stood in the shallows beside me and I ran my fingers through the rocks, combing for the ring.   
  
"Go away Glenn!!" I yelled in frustration and crawled further forward.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Well I tried, sorry guys she's not coming out." Glenn said as he walked up the hill soaking wet as he was followed by camp do gooders Lori and Carol.   
  
"She can't keep doing whatever it is she's doing out there." Lori replied, crossing her arms.  
  
"She's been out there all night. She's probably really tired by now." Carol commented.  
  
"If she fall asleep or passes out she'll drown. Glenn you've got to get back in there and get her out." Lori ordered.  
  
"Well maybe whatever it is she's doing out there is really important to her and we should just let her do it?" I heard Glenn reply as he sat by the fire trying to dry off.   
  
"This is all your fault, Shane. From the very beginning all her problems started with you. She was just getting better and then you swoop in and ruin her life." Lori scolded me as I was sat in a deck chair by the CV.  
  
"Excuse me, Lori, what would you know?" I asked, irritated that she was interfering in my business.   
  
"I know that the day after she met you she spent the afternoon at my house crying her eyes out." Lori replied self righteously.   
  
"Oh yeah? Did she tell you why?" I bit back, even more annoyed.   
  
"She most certainly did." Lori crossed her arms in front of her chest and stood feeling pretty proud of herself.   
  
"Well ya see darlin' that's pretty interesting since SHE NEVER TOLD ME!" I yelled the last bit, knocking her off her high horse.  
  
"She was going to tell you in her _own time_. It's  _her_ body Shane." Oh look she's back up on it again.   
  
"Yeah? Well it takes 2 Lori, I should have had a part in this too." I argued. It was my damn kid.  
  
"You did! It was you and your stupidity that put her in this situation in the first place!" Lori screamed back at me. Who the hell does she think she is? She's not even involved in this. This is between me and Addie and as far as I'm concerned the two of us are finished.   
  
"Shane, all bad blood aside, Addison is probably having a mental breakdown right now and if you don't get her out of the lake she's probably gonna die." Glenn interrupted Lori and I's screaming match.   
  
"She's what?" I raised an eyebrow.  
  
"She's down at the quarry, in the deep, with a torch looking for something with is somehow going to be the magic solution to all her problems. She has been in there all night and is probably exhausted. Do you know how long exhausted people can swim? Because I sure as hell don't." Glenn replied irritatedly.   
  
I sighed and got up from my chair by the radio and stormed down the the quarry to get a look at this myself. I could hear the crunching of the gravel under my feet and the air beginning to heat up for the day. It looked like it was going to be a hot one.   
  
I got down to the water's edge and watched Addison swimming around in the water going under the surface for a minute or so and then returning for air before repeating. She had a torch in her mouth and she was still wearing on of her shoes. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.  
  
"Addison." I called just as she went under. I waited for her to return to the surface before I called out to her again. She ignored me and kept on looking. Great, she was giving  _me_ the silent treatment. I watched her for a few minutes more and called out for a third time, louder this time.   
  
"Addison, what are you doing!?" I yelled over the water, with a hand cupped next to my mouth.  
  
"I have to find if Shane." She replied and ducked back under the water. "Everything will be better if I can just find it." Great. She's delirious.   
  
"I'm not sure what you're looking for Addison but I can assure you there's no magic fix to all your problems." I barked across the water.  
  
"You don't understand. If I can just find it you'll understand and then it'll be better." She replied, getting more distressed and frantic in her search.   
  
I sighed. I was getting nothing out of her and I was going to have to get my hands dirty on this one. I took off my boots and waded out into the lake with her, meeting her in the deep. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were wide. There was huge dark circles under her eyes and he hands were all cut up and bloody. She was most likely washing away the clotting and preventing her cuts from scabbing over by constantly being in the water.   
  
I got close to her and grabbed her in one swift movement and dragged her back to shore, hearing her scream hysterically when I did so. She was kicking and flailing to get away from me so she could go back and search for whatever 'it' was but I wasn't letting go of her anytime soon because I didn't want her accidentally drowning herself. Because the delusional woman passed out in the water.   
  
"Shane you don't understand, you have to let me go. I  _have_ to find it." She sobbed over my shoulder. I put her on the ground in front of me for a moment so she could look at me when I yelled at her.  
  
"No you don't understand Addison, you're acting like a nutcase and it's gotta stop. I don't care what you're looking for, you going up that hill, getting dried off and going to bed. And you're not getting back in that lake, do you understand me?" I asked, being rather harsh as I spoke to her.  
  
"You don't want me to find it?" She looked heartbroken all over again and silent tears fell over her face.  
  
"Find what?" I snapped at her, sick off all this.  
  
"The ring!" She yelled back, her eyes going red and puffy. "If I find it you'll know I really do care and that I'm sorry and you won't hate me and my baby won't grow up without a dad and we'll get married and we'll find John and eventually when all this blows over we'll be happy." She said through sobs and hysterical tears. My face softened a little when she said that but I sighed.   
  
"Addie, me not being with you doesn't mean our kid would grow up without a father. I'm going to be a good dad regardless. And we're never going to get married, that's why I threw the ring away. I don't care if you find it, that thing is worthless now anyway. And lastly this this is never going to blow over." I said looking into her eyes and gripping her shoulders.  
  
She looked at me as my words processed in her mind. When she realised I meant it she broke down completely and her legs gave way. When she hit the ground it was like she'd given up completely. She stopped crying, she stopped fighting, she stopped caring. If she could stop breathing I'm pretty sure she would have.


	20. I'm not David

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addie and Shane fight some more in a sad attempt at solving their problems.

"Shane you've got to apologise." Lori said sitting down next to me.   
  
"And just what the hell for?" I asked her annoyed.   
  
"You know exactly what for, Shane. You broke her." Lori replied smacking me in the shoulder for added effect.   
  
"When are you going to stop living through her and get on with your own life?" I growled, shutting the car magazine I was reading.   
  
"If you and Addie are over, when are you going to stop reading her magazines, sleeping in her tent and serving her first at breakfast?" Lori smirked, probably feeling pretty proud of herself for that one.  
  
"Where I sleep is my business, what I read is my business and I think given the situation she's in she needs to eat all she can get." I replied annoyed at Lori always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.   
  
"You don't even feed it to her, you just give an extra bowl to Carol like she's her nursemaid." Lori retorted. "She hasn't spoken a word since you stuck your foot in it and you need to stop blaming her because this is not her fault, it's yours. You were the one ignoring her calls, you were the one acting like a child when she first got her and you were the one going through her stuff and that's the why you found out the way you did. If you'd have just minded your own business you and Addison would still be together because I'm willing to bet you would have acted a hell of a lot differently."  
  
"No I wasn't! And I wasn't going through her stuff. Like I told you before I was looking for this stupid car magazine for something to do and I accidentally stumbled across them. And I would have acted exactly she should have told me as soon as she found out."  
  
"She tried to but you kept ignoring her you idiot and you shouldn't have been borrowing her stuff without asking anyway!" Lori snarled at me. She could be scary when she wanted to be. "You're going to apologise to her and you can start by finding that ring you childishly threw away. You don't have to give it to her but you owe it to her to find it since she spent all that time looking and damn near killed herself in the process."   
  
I sighed. I was hash and Lori was right but I was still hurt and nobody seemed to acknowledge that. I'm not being the bad guy just because I'm a guy, I'm right here. I'm not in the wrong. I guess I could go and look for the ring or something.   
  
I got up from my lawn chair and headed down the hill to the quarry and stood where I was when I threw the damn thing. I picked up a rock and threw it the same way I threw the ring and I watched where it fell. I walked down to where it had landed and started looking around for the little silver ring. It was so dusty here it looked like I was going to be here a while.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Hey Addie." Carl smiled as he stepped into the RV. He sat beside his old babysitter and picked up the book he'd started reading. He looked at the blonde who was lying absolutely still on the bed of the RV and breathing so relaxed that you could barely hear it. She hadn't moved from the position she had been in yesterday much except for when Carol had sat her up to feed her.   
  
He didn't understand what catatonic meant but he assumed it was something like a coma and if he could just keep reading to her and talking to her then maybe she'd wake up.   
  
"Mom said this was your favourite book so I decided to read this to you. We started it yesterday, I'm not sure if you remember but I hope you do." He started, his feet hanging off the seat, swinging as he spoke. She put the book up to his face and cleared his throat. "Some facts about Rosa Hubermann: She was five feet, one inch tall and wore her browny gray strands of elastic hair in a bun. To supplement the Hubermann income, she did the washing and ironing for five of the wealthier households in Molching. Her cooking was atrocious. She possessed the unique ability to aggravate almost anyone she ever met. But she did love Liesel Meminger. Her way of showing it just happened to be strange. It involved bashing her with wooden spoon and words at various intervals."  
  
"Hey bud, you reading to Addie again?" Lori asked poking her head into the RV.  
  
"Yeah, we've just started reading The Book Thief yesterday. She really likes it." Carl replied, smiling up at his mother.  
  
"Does she?" Lori asked, smiling back at her son and coming into the RV to ruffle her son's hair.   
  
"Yep, it's her favourite book and last week she said my reading was getting really good." Carl replied proudly, just last week his old babysitter and best friend had been walking around and talking and was happy and now she lay around all day.  
  
"Did she? That's great. Maybe I'll stay and listen too." Lori grinned at her little boy and sat beside him in the RV.  
  
"She's going to be okay, right mom?" Carl asked, looking up at his mother.   
  
"Of course she is. She's just having a bit of a rough time at the moment. She'll get back on her feet in no time. You'll see." Lori responded to her young son.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Hey Shane." Carl said as he sat down on a nearby rock.  
  
"Hey little buddy." I replied on my hands and knees looking sideways into a gap between two rocks.   
  
"What are you doing?" he asked swinging his feet while he sat on the rock.   
  
"I'm looking for something." I replied, wondering if I should go find that torch Addison had last week.   
  
"What?" He asked in response.  
  
"A ring." I said with a sigh, getting up off the ground and heading back up the hill.   
  
"Why are you looking for a ring?" Carl asked following me back up the hill.  
  
"It's what Addison was looking for last week." I headed to the back of her wrangler and opened the back hatch raking around until I found the torch in question and headed back down the hill. Carl tailed me the whole way.   
  
"Do you think that'll help her?" He asked skipping beside me to keep up.  
  
"It might." I'll admit I'm not 100% sure if this will work or why exactly I'm doing this but I'm hoping it will work and I'm hoping when I find it I'll know what I want.   
  
"Then I'll help you look!" He chirped, running down to the rocks we were at before staring through the gap from the opposite side. I shone the torch in from the top of the two rocks and we saw a glint of light reflecting off the torch beam. I couldn't quite reach it with my fingers so I pulled my knife out and slipped it in the crack, sliding it under the glittery object and pushing it up. I got jammed when it close to the top and I sighed.   
  
I got up from the ground again and went to find as many able bodied men and I could find. I ended up with the Dixons, Morales and T-Dog helping out until I roped Glenn in too. Three of us to each rock and we had them lifted and pulled apart from each other. Once we'd put the rocks down Carl reached in and grabbed the ring, running up the hill straight for the RV.  
  
I rolled my eyes and followed after him up the hill, just a few paces behind. I made it to the RV door when he was already inside and spilling his guts out to the catatonic girl before him.  
  
"Addie, Addie, Addie! You can wake up now we found the ring you were looking for. You don't need to be sad anymore. And Shane helped. Mom told me that you were sad because Shane was mean to you but I think if he was looking for your ring it means he's sorry."  
  


* * *

  
"but I think if he was looking for your ring it means he's sorry."  
  
That thing was haunting me. I was being haunted by some cursed object of Shane's "affection" and I was never going to be free. He didn't love me and now I was going to be constantly reminded of the fact now his stupid ring was back in action.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Hey little bud, you give me a few minutes alone with your aunt, Addison?" I asked stepping into the RV. He nodded warily and walked out of the RV and was probably going to wait right outside. I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and I played with the ring between my fingers.   
  
"Addie, I uh." I ran my hands through my hair, I placed the ring on the table beside the bed. "This is all really fucked up."   
  
Normally Addie would have a witty retort for that but she hadn't said anything in a week. I thought she was just avoiding me but I never realised it was this serious. I also never realised I had to power to turn people into catatonic messes. You live and you learn I guess.  
  
"We've got a lot to talk about and maybe I overreacted. Okay, I definitely overreacted and I was a dick but you hurt me and no matter how much of a jerk I was you and your nosy friends don't get to decided that you didn't hurt me. And I'm sorry and I need you to get up now and slap me or something. Punch me in the face for being a jerk, tell me I'm stupid. I know I hurt you too and I'm sorry. Please come back." I pulled the red box out of my pocket and put the ring back in it's rightful place.   
  
I sat beside her, hoping something would happen, hopping that like magic she'd say something or she'd sit up and everything would be like normal or as normal as things could get now the dead have risen.   
  


* * *

  
  
"And I'm sorry and I need you to get up now and slap me or something. Punch me in the face for being a jerk, tell me I'm stupid. I know I hurt you too and I'm sorry. Please come back." I heard Shane say from near me. I did want to get up and smack him. But I also wanted to be as far from him as I could possibly be.   
  
My body felt numb and I felt like I was missing bits of conversation, missing parts of my life. I had to move, to get up, to see something. I needed to stop feeling like a shattered vase.   
  
I put all my energy into my legs, I just had to move a little bit. I took a deep breath and pushed with all my might.  
  


* * *

  
  
My attention turned from the open door of the RV and the shadows to the woman laying beside me. Addison's breathing was heavier, more laboured and I was worried for a moment. Until out of the blue she sat up. He feet hung off the side of the bed and she stood up. The first few steps were shaky and awkward but she made it to the RV door and I moved to follow her but she didn't seem no notice my existence.   
  


* * *

  
  
I did it. My feet were moving, I was standing everything was great. I stepped out of the RV and walked out towards the fire. I was greeted with the stares of half the camp as I approached the group. I was a little confused as to why but I assumed it was to do with the argument I'd had with Shane, either today or yesterday. I couldn't seem to remember.   
  
"Addie!!" A little voice to the right of me called and Carl came running at me with open arms. I knelt down and held my arms wide just as he collided with me.   
  
"Hey little bug, what's up?" I smiled warmly and rubbed the top of his head.  
  
"I'm glad you're back." He breathed.  
  
"Back? You mean from the run?" I asked confused, I was sure I'd seen him since then. I noticed I could walk without pain now, but I could have sworn I should still needed the walking stick. I rolled my ankle around a little and sure enough it felt fine. There was no pain and it wasn't bandaged anymore, odd.   
  
"No, you were..." He started trying to explain himself.  
  
"Carl honey, would you mind giving me a moment with Addison?" Lori asked her son, getting up from the fire. I saw Shane standing in the doorway of the RV, learning on the frame, watching me.  
  
She lead me towards the forest some more where we would have some privacy to talk about whatever it was she wanted. I perched on a fallen tree while she chose to stand with her arms folded loosely around herself. She eyed me carefully for a moment before she decided to speak.  
  
"Addison, what day is it?" Lori asked me.  
  
"Uh, I haven't really been keeping track since the world ended. Uh it was the end of March when everything went to hell so it must be around the middle of July??" I replied, not really knowing what to say. I felt like I'd forgotten her anniversary or something.  
  
She sighed, "No, I mean... What's the last thing you remember?"   
  
"Uh I remember fighting with Shane and I remember him storming off somewhere and I just felt so broken that I collapsed on the ground. Is that what this was about?"   
  
"Addie," Lori crouched down in front of me, putting herself at eye level with me. "That was a week ago, you've been staying in the RV. Carol's been spoon feeding you, Carl comes in and reads to you every day."  
  
"What?? No, I came home today or maybe yesterday? And I twisted my ankle and I argued with Shane but it hasn't been a week. It can't have been I don't remember anything." My voice cracked in my throat as I was getting more stressed.   
  
"Darlin' you were in a somewhat catatonic state." Shane explained coming out of the shadows.   
  
"What are you even doing here? I thought you said you were done with me." I all but yelled at him. I stood up from the log and tried to storm away from him.  
  
"Addie wait!" He called half jogging to me and grabbing my wrist from behind me.   
  
"Get off me," I shook my wrist free from his grasp, facing him now. "You didn't listen to me when I tried to explain myself, you didn't want to hear it because you'd already decided what I'd done and who I was. You'd already decided how you felt before you even let me speak. You had so many questions yet you didn't stick around to hear the answers. But you didn't even just decide how you felt, you decided how I felt too."   
  
"Addie you didn't even trust.."  
  
" **NO!** " I cut him off. "I do trust you, I do love you I didn't tell you because before last week I wasn't ready to. You don't seem to understand who I am why I do what I do, why I act the way I act. You were so ready to marry me supposedly but you don't even know anything about me. It was my choice to have this baby, my choice. And it was my choice to come find you so you could be apart of it's life but I can see that I was wrong. I was so wrong about so many things but I don't regret my choice to try and get to know you before we tried to raise a baby together, before all the pressured that would add to a relationship." I tired to be strong, come out of my shell and I was going to stop taking the blame for everything, this was  _not_ all my fault and I was  _not_ going to be the girl I was when I was with David.   
  
"Addie whether you meant to or not, keeping this from me was a bad call because you hurt me..." Shane started.  
  
"I know I hurt you and I'm sorry but you hurt me too, and you don't get to decided that because I hurt you that you hurting me was okay. You don't get to ignore everything I say because you disagree, that's not how relationships work. I'm sorry you felt like I didn't trust you and that I was hiding this from you but I wasn't and you wouldn't have felt like that at all if you hadn't been going through all my stuff." I let slip a tear down my face, I hadn't noticed we were deeper in the forest now and Lori had left us to it. "You know most people in your situation would be mad and hurt but they wouldn't just give up and abandon me when I needed you most. And they wouldn't hurt the people they love because they want them to experience the pain they felt. It's wrong."  
  
"I never meant for you to feel that way, Addie, it' not a question of what's right and what's wrong. We both screwed up here. But what it sounds like to me is you want to give up now too and we can't."  
  
"You never cared to hear the other side, you never do. When I was trying to find you before all the world broke down you were so wrapped up in yourself you never spared a second thought to me or anyone else. So why would you even care to keep this thing alive." I sobbed.  
  
"The baby?" He looked at me, hurt.  
  
"No, us. Why would you want to keep going when you've already given up?"   
  
"I'm not giving up! Not anymore, I was wrong I said that when I was hurt. When you broke my heart, but you have got to stop seeing me as just another guy like David! You paint me into the memory of all your pain but I'm not your past!" Shane screamed at me.  
  
"I don't think you're the same, I know you're different but after the 10 years we were together I am broken and I've been trying to repair myself this past year on my own. I found you and you made me happy but you could never understand the demons that I face." I yelled back.  
  
"Go ahead and bat your eyes and cry Addie, for everything you are you are just a little girl and you can't keep telling me that I would never understand you and how you feel when you've never even tried to tell me. You didn't tell me you were pregnant, you never told me you had another son, you never ever told me how you felt about anything!"  
  
"Go ahead and believe that you're right, to keep away the dark and to help you sleep at night. Go on and decide who is wrong and what is right." I was fully sobbing now and I'd stepped back for him, I couldn't look at him and my head was down, hair hiding my face.   
  
He stopped retorting and sighed, he stepped towards me and gently cupped my face. I flinched but he just pushed my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ears. He wiped away some of my tears with his thumbs and looked at me with a softer face.  
  
"Addie, stop fighting me about this. We need to move on. I'm sorry I hurt you and that I didn't listen to you and I'm sorry I fucked up by looking for some stupid magazine. I know I'm wrong about some things and I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to know you'd tell me in your own time. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions but I'm human, I make mistakes. Despite all the fighting, we've got a good thing going here and if we can just keep it alive then I know we can be great parents and make all this work. But we have to do it together and we can't keep yelling the same things at each other phrased in different ways."   
  
I sighed, looking up at him with a sniffle. "I know you're right about that. But I can't just magically make this hurt go away. We argued and we fought and that's over now but I still need to heal. You cut me deep with your words and I know I hurt you too. I need space Shane, and I need time." I replied eventually, no longer crying.   
  
I took a step back and released myself from his hold before I turned away and headed back to camp. I went straight to my car and climbed in the back, laying down on the back seat with a blanket from the trunk and a pillow that I changed between hugging and laying on. I was restless and tired at the same time and I spent the whole night tossing and turning, no sleep at all. 


	21. Night of Passion

Shane shoved my purple overshirt off my shoulders and kissed the newly exposed skin. My skin felt like it was on fire as his hands and tongue explored my body. I gripped his shirt as he was kissing my shoulder but he pinned my hands to the hood of the car. I'd always liked the dominant side to Shane in the bedroom but it was very fun to fight for it. When he said he'd make it up to me earlier he wasn't kidding, I was in heaven.  
  
I lay further down on the hood as he lifted up my tank top, revealing my stomach. His kisses there were a lot more gentle compared to the rough passionate kisses over the rest of my exposed skin. His hands slid under my ass, cupped the tender globes and he lifted me off the car with a squeeze. He carried me with my legs wrapped firmly around his waist, to the back passenger doors and pressed me up against the side as he tugged off my overshirt completely. I yanked at the collar of his dark t-shirt and he grinned wildly at me, slowly, tantalisingly taking it off.   
  
My overshirt had been tossed aside and was lying somewhere in the dirt, Shane swung open the back passenger door open and haphazardly tossed his shirt somewhere inside the car. He dropped me on the light leather seats unceremoniously and then crawled on top of me, shutting the back door.  
  
He leaned over me and pushed my tank top up my body and lay more feathered kisses up my abdomen. When he was bored with that he tossed it off completely and put his face between my breasts which had slowly grown over the past 11 weeks to the point where they were swelling out of the cups now.   
  
"I thought these were getting bigger, it seems so obvious now." Shane commented.   
  
"What, before it just seemed like wishful thinking?" I teased with a laugh.  
  
"Hey!" He replied annoyed, "I'm not like that."   
  
I sat up under him, leaning back on my elbows gazing up at him, suggestively. But before he could act I was sitting up further and shoving him back, kissing him just as roughly and fiddling with his belt. I tugged the excess from the belt loops and undid the buckle.   
  
He undid the rest of his pants and tugged them off, scooping me up and dropping me down in his lap. Shane unclasped my bra and I groaned when he massaged my much more tender breasts. I raked my nails over his back and slid down to his boxers where I slipped my hands inside and gave his ass a squeeze, shocking him just a little.   
  
I let out a laugh and tugged them down enough to expose his member. I slid down and out of his lap, instead on my knees, belly almost pressing on the seats, eye level with his thick cock. I put it to my lips and rolled my mouth over it, he let a loud moan escape and I kept up my efforts, sucking and bobbing my head back and forth. His moaning was incorrigible and eventually it because too much for him. He pulled me off and slipped his fingers into my panties.   
  
Kissing me softly he rubbed the sensitive nub slowly, sensually teasing me and making me growl at him. He smirked at my impatience and swirled his finger around even slower. I shoved him back a bit impatiently and tugged my panties off completely, sliding his boxers down and mounting his erect member. He chuckled once again and pushed me back down against the leather interior. Taking back control he thrust in and out of me while I attempted to keep things quiet.   
  
I connected our mouths as I could feel the familiar knot forming in my abdomen and I noticed his thrusts were getting sloppy. It wasn't long before I let out a soft cry and he spilled into me, collapsing onto the backseat together, panting. After a few moments of our sweaty bliss, his head resting softly on my chest and his body next to mine, we started trying to gather our clothes.

"Boy this brings back memories." I laughed, perching on the seat once I was fully dressed.  
  
"Yeah?" He breathed heavily.   
  
"High school. Many late nights sneaking out, jumping in the car and just going." I replied, nostalgia hitting me. "Wouldn't mind making some new memories though."  
  
"Oh I assure you, we'll be making plenty of new memories." He laughed. "Now come on, let's get some rest." He kissed my shoulder and then lead me out of the car and to our tent. I slipped on my nightwear and climbed in bed beside him. I snuggled in close to him and everything in the world felt right again. Hopefully, there wouldn't be another fight like the last one. Of course we'd fight, what couple didn't? But I would turn into an emo and he wouldn't scream the place down like a five year old.   
  


* * *

  
The sun was warm on my face as the light pierced through the canvas walls. I rolled over and snuggled in closer to the warm embrace I was engulfed in. My gaze met Shane's and he smiled at me.   
  
"Morning." He breathed.   
  
Before I could smile back or even reply I was up like a shot, nausea hitting me and ready to puke. I zipped the tent open and ran out into the forest, throwing up on a tree, with just enough time to hold my hair back behind my head. I'd woken up later than I usually did these days which meant there weren't many left around still in their tents. I spied a nearby water bottle and poured some over the vomit to wash it away and leave no trace.   
  
I ran my hands through my hair with a sigh and then rinsed my mouth out with the water. Hopefully there shouldn't be that much longer that I experienced the morning sickness as I was almost 12 weeks now. Shane came out of our tent now fully dressed and rubbed my shoulders soothingly.   
  
"How much longer?" He murmured into my shoulder.  
  
"Not much longer, end of the week or so." I replied and he placed a kiss on my shoulder. "If I'm lucky." I muttered more sullenly.   
  
"It'll get better. It will." He rubbed my arms affectionately. "Let's go get breakfast while some is still around." He lead me to the camp fire where few were still eating but everyone was still around.


	22. Not Going

"We should think about checking out the city soon." Glenn commented one morning as we sat by the fire. We hadn't been out on a run since the incident with Geno and I assumed we must be running low or else he wouldn't have brought it up. 

  
"I don't know, it seems kind of risky." I replied. It seemed hard enough for some of these survivors to get out of the city in the first place and now he wants to go back in? Plus, there's got to be a lot of dead people around.   
  
"Yeah but King County is going to run out of supplies eventually, plus we should get into Atlanta while there's some good stuff still there." He stirred his spoon around in his bowl. 

  
"Yeah and run into all the looters and unsavoury characters." I responded.  
  
"What, you scared?" Glenn laughed.

  
"No, I just think it's a big risk. We've got to decide if it's worth it for the payoff. Plus we'd need a much larger group. And then we'd probably need more than one vehicle or a larger one at least. I mean, me, you and Darrel are the only ones that have really been out there since everything went to shit. I mean some of the guys have been out to the highway, but that's it." I sighed, closing my book. 

  
"What are you two talking about?" Shane asked, sitting beside me, arm around my shoulders. 

  
"Our next run." Glenn answered, Shane instantly tensing up.

  
"Glenn thinks we should try going into Atlanta.."

  
"Absolutely not." Shane cut me off with a clipped, harsh reply.

  
"That's what I said." I told him. "Or words to the same effect. We'd need a much larger group of people for starters, and a larger vehicle. Plus I'm kind of tired of always being the one to go out on runs all the time. Especially after last time. It's getting more risky." 

  
"Oh  _come on!_ " Glenn called out in outrage. "You can't expect me to believe that. I mean sure last time got a bit close but you can't be just giving up. You're the one who always volunteers." He was right, I did want to go but now I was this far along I couldn't be risking it. Plus there was no way Shane would let me go now he knew. He was touchy before hand.

  
"Yeah and I'm getting tired of it. We should be dividing up the runs equally. Grab a few volunteers and rotate them." I argued, trying to seem more annoyed than I was.

  
"Just a few days ago you were saying you were one of the few people who could actually get up and do it." Glenn pointed out, referencing my fight with Andrea. 

  
"Glenn just drop it, okay? I don't want to do it because I'm tired. It's all becoming a bit much and I need some time. After everything that's happened in the last few weeks, the months we've been out here, I need to rest. If you want to go on a run, ask around. I'm sure some people will volunteer. If you want to go to Atlanta, figure it out and then check back with Shane." I fake snapped. I thrust my book at Shane and stormed off towards the lake, my usual stomping grounds. 

  
I headed down the hill and spotted Lori and Carol doing laundry, sitting by the lake. I'd seen Jacqui by Dale's RV but Andrea was nowhere to be seen. She was probably off sulking somewhere because she didn't like the chores she was given. I mean for god's sake what was she expecting? We're all camping out here and her pre-apocalypse occupation was a civil rights lawyer. Not much use for that out here. I mean if she wanted to be useful and didn't want to do laundry literally all she has to do is bring some kind of needed skill to the table. I build shit, Darrel hunts, Glenn goes out on runs, Shane wait, what the fuck does Shane do? All he seems to do is delegate and be cranky all the time. Mind you, he does seem to be the self appointed group leader.   
  
"Hey guys." I sat down beside Carol and took my shoes off, dipping my toes in the cool, fresh water. I scooted a little closer to the buckets, my shorts now sufficiently dirty on the backside and picked up some of the clothes. I hated this job but they looked like they could use some help. 

  
"Hey Addie." Carol grinned at me. 

  
"Hey Addison," Lori responded, ringing out a shirt. "Didn't think I'd ever catch you down here, you hate laundry." 

  
"Yeah well, you guys looked like you could use some help. I figured I'd lend a hand, plus gives me a good chance to hide from Admiral Shane." I laughed. "So where's Andrea, doesn't she normally help out?"

  
"She's in the RV sulking. Amy said she couldn't even get her to come out for breakfast this morning." Lori filled me in. 

  
"Oh for gods sake." I groaned. "She can't still be pissed off about earlier." I shook my head.

  
"She is. She looks like a grudge holder." Lori said.

  
"Hey, shouldn't you girls be doing laundry and not chit chatting?" Ed heckled from the side lines, walking past smoke billowing over towards us. 

  
"The wonderful thing about women, Ed, is our ability to multi-task." I bit back. 

  
"Why you better watch that pretty little mouth of your before I.." He started, shooting daggers at me.

  
"Before you do what, Ed?" Shane asked, standing behind Ed with a hand on his shoulder. At this point, Merle who had been watching from the sidelines, stood up and stubbed out his cigarette. 

  
"Ah nothin', you just keep your damn woman in line from now on." He replied, shrugging off his hand. He stormed off away, Merle in tow. 

  
"Why is always you?" Shane turned to me as I stood up in the shin deep water. 

  
"Hey! I didn't do anything wrong." I waved my arms around dramatically. 

  
"I know but could you at least learn to pick your god damn battles." He sighed rubbing his face.

   
"Oh cheer up." I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around him. He peeked out from behind his hands and sighed. He wrapped his larger hands around me and kissed me softly. 

  
"I just worry about you, okay?" He kissed my forehand. "You're my girl."  


* * *

  
"Hey, Addie, I was wondering.." Glenn scratched the back of his head. "I know you said you didn't want to come to on this run.."

  
"And I still don't." I added from my spot by the fire.

  
" _But_ I was wondering if you minded if Andrea came along." He asked looking sheepish, deciding not to sit down beside me. 

  
"I don't care if you take her, maybe it'll knock her down a few pegs. At the very least it will keep her out of my hair and you know, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll die out there." I replied bitterly, fingering the corner of my book.

  
"Harsh." He responded, giving me an awkward look.

  
"Oh come on, I was only joking." I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, if you can get her to go along, she'll learn how hard it is out there and shut up about it being easy. Either that or the civil rights lawyer will actually prove useful and we'll add another skilled party to the team. It's a win win."

  
"Well when you put it like that it sounds a lot less psychotic." He joked, sitting down beside me. "Whatcha reading?" He eyed the book in my hands and ran his fingers over the cover.

  
"Same one as last week." I replied, holding the old pages between my fingers.

  
"We really need to get better books." He sighed. 

  
"Maybe you could look for some while you're out. If you find any grab them, don't go out of your way though. I'll be really pissed off if you die for a stupid book." I suggested, ending things on a more serious note.

  
"Don't worry Addie, they'll never kill me off." He laughed and headed back down the quarry and way from the fire.


	23. Where are the stars?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written ages ago I just for some reason decided not to publish this chapter but continued to publish the rest of the fic.

I woke up around 6 as usual and was hit with a wave of nausea that instantly leapt from the car seat and threw up on the gravel. I stayed on my knees holding myself up on the ground for a moment, then I wiped my mouth and tried to stand up. I was on shaky legs as I rose to my feet and shut the car door. I ran my hands through my hair and tied it up in a ponytail behind my head.   
  
"It's probably all all the food you ate without going to the bathroom over the past week." Daryl commented. "You'll probably feel better after."  
  
I nodded leaning up against the car. I wondered how long he'd been standing there, I wonder who else saw. I looked around and noticed we were the only two up and I noticed his things by the fire. He looked like he'd been... Okay I have no clue what he was doing but whatever.   
  
I bid him adieu as I went to go find the camp bucket. I washed away the puke by my car and then did as Daryl suggested, went to the bathroom. I filled up my bucket in order to bathe and found myself a nice private place to undress.   
  
I finished washing my skin so I picked up the bucket and poured it over my head, ringing out my hair when I was done. I set the bucket down and grabbed the towel I had hanging on a nearby tree. I wrapped myself up to dry and bent down to grab yesterday's clothes I'd left on the ground.   
  
Just as I bent down I felt the air from an arrow come whizzing past my ass, nearly striking me. I turned to my right to see where it had come from and I met Daryl's gaze. He was standing there with his crossbow, a finger pressed to his lips and he pointed out to the left.  
  
I turned my head and saw a deer with one of Daryl's bolts sticking out of it's eye. It was twitching on the ground and Daryl moved quickly and quietly over to the fallen doe. He reached under its neck and slit it's jugular cleanly to drain the blood and put it out of it's misery. I tucked the towel into my cleavage so I'd have full movement. I walked back over to the tree I'd hung my towel on and quickly dressed in fresh clothing, wrapping the towel and old clothes together. I tugged my shoes on and tossed the bundle in the bucket, holding onto it as I walked on over to him.  
  
"You want a hand taking that thing back to camp?" I knelt beside him on the ground, watching him inspect the deer. It was around 7 now and I imagine the first campers were just starting to get up for the day. He nodded at me we got to work hauling the creature back to the fire.   
  
Once we'd gotten back I'd noticed Daryl was covered in deer blood. I handed over my slightly wet towel and he nodded in appreciation at me. He rubbed his sleeveless arms and his neck and handed me back the now deep red towel. Wow, the people who do the laundry were gonna be pissed.  
  
Daryl got down and started gutting the doe and I put a hand over my mouth, the smell making me nauseous. I watched carefully as he did so, thumbing my collar anxiously, not wanting to puke. "Go ahead and yack if you gotta." He commented while he pulled out the offal. I nodded but I tried to hold if back if I could.  
  
"Ugh, Daryl, do you have to do that here?" Andrea asked disgusted with the sight of him pulling the intestines out of the doe.   
  
"Where else you want me to do it, blondie?" He bit back. I smiled a little at the comment, glad he was on better terms with me than we'd started out.   
  
"Literally anywhere else." She replied, then turned her attention to the items of clothing covered in blood. "Oh my god DARYL!! There's blood everywhere."   
  
"Chill Andrea, it'll be fine." I told the brooding blonde as she was mid-freak out.   
  
"That's easy for you to say, you've done zero laundry since you got here." Andrea snarled.   
  
"Yeah sorry about that, I've been too busy keeping food on the table Barbie." I snapped back. So maybe this was important to her because she was gonna be the one who'd have to clean it up but she's got no right to say I've done nothing since I got here.   
  
"Oh yeah like we needed  _you_ to do that. You're not special, we've already got the Dixons who can hunt, Dale's got the fishing gear and the guys just went out a week ago to gather supplies from the highway. And even if we did go out and make runs,  _anyone_ could do that, it doesn't take a genius." Andrea hissed.   
  
"Oh really? You think you can do my job G.I. Jane wannabee? Go ahead, you're more than welcome to. Provided you bring your own vehicle to the table and have the correct skillset to do so. There's plenty of jobs for me to do around here, like strengthening the fence line, fishing, I'm sure Daryl could teach me to track and hunt."  
  
"Sure." Daryl agreed from the sidelines, almost enjoying the female version of a [dick measuring contest](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dick+measuring+contest).   
  
"You don't think I can do it?" she barked bitterly.  
  
"No, I don't think you can do it. I don't think you're a very good shot, I don't think you'd be able to get out of the sticky situations Glenn and I have found ourselves in over the past few runs, I don't think you can take the geeks on without a gun and I don't think you've got the stamina and the drive to go it out there alone or with a group." I replied honestly.   
  
"Yeah? Well maybe if it'd been me out there with Glenn we wouldn't have found any sticky situations." Andrea replied and I found myself chuckling.  
  
"Sure, whatever you say, peaches." I smirked, patting her on the shoulder as I passed her, bored with the altercation.   
  
"You arrogant, condescending, slutbag!" She yelled at me.  
  
"Been looking in the mirror again have we?" I raised an eyebrow provocatively before turning around to walk away again. Our band of happy campers were beginning to gather around and I wasn't going to be today's source of entertainment.   
  
"UGH! Addison what the hell is your problem?" She growled, pointing at me with a shaking arm.  
  
"My problem? What's your problem babycakes? You started this." Now I was getting the blame for this?  
  
"No way, you started all this." She objected, stepping closer to me.  
  
"If bullshit could float, you'd be the Admiral of the fleet!" I turned back around to face her. She obviously wasn't gonna let me walk away, so I was going to make her cry.  
  
"Oh yeah.. Well..." She stuttered out.  
  
"Having trouble coming up with a comeback? Shock me, say something intelligent." I goaded stepping closer to her.  
  
"Fuck off Addison, you know you only get to do all this stuff because you're Shane's current squeeze." Savage. Rude. What an ass, she's totally crossing the line there. "Not that you will be for much longer."   
  
"Shut up, Andrea, you'll never be the man your mother was." I snapped back. "You know, I'm pretty sure you're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard."   
  
"Shane doesn't love you." She spat.   
  
"Is your ass jealous of the shit that just came out of your mouth?" I snarled.   
  
"He never will." She smirked. My hands were making themselves into fists.  
  
"What? Sorry I missed that, I was trying to imagine you with a personality." I responded, trying to keep my cool. "Anyway, I'd love to stay and shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."  
  
I turned on my heel and took a couple of steps before she lunched at me. I was able to hear her thundering feet from a mile away so I turned back around again and stepped out of the way to the left, this time heading away from her in the other direction while she lay on the ground. She had her wrist up at her face and was checking for blood, I was sure it was possible to fuck up her face anymore but look what she just dun did.  
  


* * *

  
  
I was headed up to the campfire for the morning when I heard to female voices arguing with each other.  _'Please don't let it be Addison.'_ I thought immediately. I headed out of the trees and sure enough, Addison was squaring off with Andrea.   
  
Addison I noticed had tried to leave a couple of times now however her pride was just a tad too much to walk away without a witty retort. And because of that she kept getting dragged back into whatever fight they were having. I stood beside Daryl and a deer carcass.   
  
"You get a deer this morning?" I asked watching the two women argue.   
  
"Mmmhmm." He nodded.  
  
"You been here since then?"   
  
"Mmmhmm." He nodded again.  
  
"You see who started this?"   
  
"Mmmhmm." He responded.  
  
"Addie?" I asked hoping I'd pegged the wrong woman.  
  
"Nope." Few.  
  
"Andrea?" I asked finally.  
  
"Mmmhmm." He responded, going back to the task at hand, carving up the deer.   
  
Addison stormed off into the woods after she'd delivered a one-liner and I decided to follow after her. Check she was okay. I'd heard some of what Andrea had said and I wanted to make sure she knew none of it was true. We'd fought sure but I did still love Addison and she wasn't just some person I was screwing.  
  


* * *

  
  
"I can hear you following along behind me, you're not quiet Shane." I commented. "So what do you want?" I asked turning around, putting my hands on my hips.  
  
"She's wrong about you, you know. You're not a slut and you're not just some squeeze." I started. "I do love you Addie, whatever rough patch we're going through."  
  
"I know you do, doesn't change what she said though." I commented, sighing and sitting down in the middle of the forest.   
  
"I knew you were hurt." He responded walking over to me.  
  
"Yeah, I am, but I don't want comforting from you." Okay I'm willing to admit that was a little harsh.   
  
"Addie, I'm sorry, but you can't keep hating me if we're gonna move on." He sighed, sitting beside me.  
  
"Shane I need space." I replied, not looking at him.   
  


"Oh we had space, a whole week of it." He started, probably feeling annoyed.  
  
"Yeah a week that I DON'T REMEMBER." I argued. "I just don't know what I want anymore." I sighed.  
  
"You don't know what you want anymore?" He replied through gritted teeth. "So last week when I found out and then broke up with you and you were so cut up about it you had a nervous breakdown and went into a catatonic state. The whole time wanting to get back with me and not be alone and now I want to sort things out with you, you don't want me anymore?"   
  
"Shane I don't want to be with someone who over reacts like you did a week ago and I don't want to be with someone who I always fight with. I've seen marriages like that. I don't want to do that again. I don't want to get serious with someone I want to murder or who makes me want to curl up in a ball and never see the light of day again." I explained myself.  
  
"Except we're not bad together or for each other. We had a fight, no relationship is perfect and people fight. A couple of fights isn't the end and I can see why you've got cold feet about this, I understand, I really do. But you're wrong and I'm going to sit here all day if I have to convincing you that us together is the right call." He countered. He was really making an effort and he was changing my mind just by being here but I wanted to be strong about this, but I didn't know what I wanted.   
  
I sighed, holding my knees up to my body and resting my chin on them. I sat thoughtful for a while, beside him, him letting my think. All I could think was, "Shane, what have you done to me?" He chuckled.   
  
"Don't laugh, I'm serious." I glared at him. When he was done laughing I sighed and leaned on his shoulder. "Maybe you're right. Plus I spent most of last night wanting to be away from you but at the same time not wanting to be anywhere but by your side."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean baby." Shane chuckled. "I felt exactly the same every morning I woke up without you and each night I went to sleep by myself."  
  
"Maybe we should just try to forget it. The fight, what we said, just forgive each other." I said like it was so easy and uncomplicated.   
  
"Like it's so easy." Shane laughed, "we'll do it together." He squeezed my hand. "Plus I can think of a few ways I can make it up to you." he winked at me.  
  


* * *

  
  
We were sitting around the fire eating lunch, me between Lori and Shane with Glenn and Carl nearby. Daryl had chosen to sit closer to the main group than usual. Merle and Ed around the second circle with Carol and Sophia closer to Daryl as well. Carol was waiting on Ed hand on foot which pissed me off but in the end I knew it wasn't my marriage and the only person who could help Carol was Carol. It was the same with myself and David.   
  
Once I'd finished eating I started helping Lori fold laundry. It wasn't a hard task and by no means was I insulted or any less capable by doing it. I was doing it because I didn't mind helping out and I usually took whatever job that needed doing. This of course excludes washing clothes because I hate it, but in exchange for not having to do that I do other tasks like gathering wood for the fire, going on runs, maintaining the fence, etc.   
  
Yes I'm still pissed off with Andrea.  
  
"You know what I think about boxers?" I said looking at the pair I was folding.  
  
"I'm sure you are about to tell us." Shane replied, awaiting my trivial pet peeve.   
  
"Boxers are so dumb." I groaned hating the cottony things I was holding.  
  
"Why?" Glenn laughed.  
  
"You wanna know why boxers are dumb? It's like wearing shorts under your pants! And if girls did that we couldn't wear skinny jeans." I explained, knowing full well I probably sounded ridiculous. I could see Shane and Lori smiling, though the latter was more smiling because Carl looked so happy right now.  
  
"Why not just wear normal jeans?"  Glenn asked and I shot him a 'you dun a dumb' look.  
  
"Girls with asses like mine don't wear stupid, baggy, boy pants." I replied matter of factly in a higher than normal pitched voice. Most around the campfire could tell I was joking though so the only eye roll I got was from Andrea. God I hate her.  
  
I heard Lori snort with laughter though, while she folded the male t-shirt she was folding. Glenn shook his head, though he still laughed and Shane simply smiled and gave my hand a squeeze. Eventually I went back to helping Lori fold and it was done in no time.  
  


* * *

  
  
I hadn't heard anything else from Andrea so I was pretty content when Shane and I were halfway down the path to the quarry, leaning on the rock and staring up at the stars.   
  
"I never know where any of the stars are anymore." I commented. "My brother and I learned about the constellations in the planetarium at the science works in Melbourne when we were kids. I'm completely flipped upside down here. I don't see any of them anymore because they're all opposite."  
  
Shane laughed quietly. "Well you've got forever to learn now."  
  
We sat in a comfortable silence, staring appreciatively up at the stars, now there was no light pollution from the city to block them from us. I leaned on his chest and wrapped myself in his warm, big arms.   
  
"So how far along are you now?" Shane asked after a while of laying there. We were a long way away from everyone else, all of whom had gone to bed anyway.   
  
"Eleven and a bit weeks, almost three months." I replied, snuggling in closer to his chest.  
  
"I can't believe I never noticed." He said annoyedly. "I mean you were always up before me which never happens. You were up before sunrise. And you were always so happy to go on pharmacy runs. I mean anyone could have gotten the girls their stuff if you'd just written a list but you always volunteered. I should have noticed."  
  
"Well I used to have to get up before 6 for work anyway. In summer we started at 6 and finished at 3. I always volunteered because I knew I was capable of doing it, plus, I kept hoping if I kept looting around town I might find John. Honestly I don't think they're in King county, it was mostly wishful thinking." I reassured. "And anyway, you should have felt bad if I got to 4 months and you never noticed. That's when you get your baby bump."  
  
"What are we going to tell everyone?  _When_ are we going to tell everyone?" Shane asked thinking and rubbing my arm while I rested my hands on my stomach.   
  
"When we're ready. We should keep it low key and not a big deal anyhow, I think if certain people found out just now there would be riots. Things are pretty tense right now and I don't think anyone will like the idea of a screaming baby around that'll attract the cries of the dead all around us." I replied honestly. "We'll just wait till we're good and ready, right now it's only our concern."   
  
"That sounds like a short time plan." Shane replied, disapproving.   
  
"Well you're basically in charge of the group so even if there are arguments they'll all just have to deal with it. If not we're both survivors we can find something else. Plus I have an inkling if things were to go south we wouldn't be going on our own." I responded craning my neck to look up at him.  
  
"Why's that?" He asked, running his fingers through my now loose hair.   
  
"We've made our friends. I know Glenn at least would stand by us. We could persuade Lori easily and I've been working on a friendship with Daryl unfortunately he won't come anywhere without Merle. I'm not sure about the others but we'd have a chance. Plus we could always find other survivors and start a new group. Hopefully with less wife beaters." I half joked at the end.   
  
"Mmmm." He hummed thoughtfully. "Well, how about we go back now?"   
  
"Yeah, it's getting kinda late." If I was going to be awake at dawn throwing up everywhere I should really get as much sleep as I could. Shane apparently had other ideas though, as when we got up the hill he pressed me to the hood of a car and started kissing me passionately.


	24. His Majesty

"I know you wanted to go on the run, Addie." Shane stood behind me as I raked through the stuff in the back of my jeep. I was going through what was there and taking inventory since I now had nothing to do and no run to prepare for. 

  
"Don't you pretend you're not happy about this," I glared at him. "I understand why your touchy about it, I also understand why you think Atlanta is a bad idea, I do too. I understand why I need to start taking a backseat but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

  
I went back to reorganising the back of the car. I was thankful I had all these storage boxes, they were just another thing not usually high on looters list alongside concrete and shovels.

  
"True." He agreed, he was pretty happy now I wasn't going out there and putting my neck on the line. I know he knew what I was capable of and never doubted my abilities and most of the stuff he said and did was because he cared about me, but I had the sneaking suspicion Shane, like a lot of other men his age from the South, was a little bit sexist.

  
"Also, you maybe need to consider that there might not always be the opportunity to take the backseat. I can rest now but something bad happening could be just around the corner in this new world and I need to be the top of my game," I lectured, it seemed Shane was getting a little comfortable on his throne and needed to be reminded just what kind of world was out there.

 

"Addie." He groaned, realised he wasn't exactly getting through to me. 

  
"It's the truth and you know it." I responded, closing the door behind me and moving to the glove box. 

  
"Yeah I know we all need to be at the top of our game. I think your damn problem is you can't sit still for longer than five minutes."

That I couldn't deny, I'd always been fairly restless. Without a regular routine I was kind of antsy. I wondered if I would be able to convince him to let me head out to the highway to scavenge. It was closer to camp and there would be more than just Glenn to protect me like the fragile woman I am.

  
"Addie," He warned. "Just relax please. Must you always try and come up with a way to get out of camp? It's almost like you hate it here." 

  
"I don't hate it here," I retorted, "I just like having something to do."

  
"Well I don't know why don't you start making regular patrols of the perimeter? Come up with a better fire place, you like building stuff. What about you build a real washing line instead of the one strung between cars? There's some non-lethal activities for you to enjoy."

 

"I actually wanted to still scavenge for things. I know I can't go down to King County anymore, it's too risky and I know there's no way in hell I'll be going down to Atlanta even if I had your permission. Which I  _shouldn't_ need. But that doesn't mean I can't help." I explained, a little frustrated. "The highway should be safe enough, plus, if it'd make you feel better there's  a lot of big tough manly men to protect me. "

 

"Addie," Shane groaned. "Were you even listening to anything I just said?"

 

"I listened to everything you just said!" I threw my hands up, getting frustrated. "It's another non-lethal activity."

 

He sighed. "Let's talk about this some other time," he said, shaking his head and starting to walk away. 

 

"Shane!" I yelled, pissed he wasn't hearing me out. 

 

"No Addie," he yelled back before turning on his heel and marching away. I sighed and when to go back to the trunk of my car. 

  
"Well that's you told," I heard Ed say and I growled under my breath, ready to smack this guy but in my condition, it would be a dumb idea. 

 

"C'mon Ed, let's go smoke out by the quarry," I heard the older of the two Dixon's say after I'd decided not to beat the shit out of Ed. I looked up at them and spotted Daryl had stayed behind and was lingering by the truck. 

 

"Lookin' for some'nt to do?" He asked and I nodded, running a hand over my face. "I'm goin' on a hunt round the forest get us some real food. You're a pretty good shot and fighter, you should come with. And Merle don't wanna go neither."

 

"I'm going to have to ask his majesty," I started. "But I'd love to."

 

"I don't see why you gotta," Daryl replied. "If you wanna go their ain't nothin' stoppin' you. It's your life girl."

 

"That's very true," I replied as he walked away thinking. Sure Shane and I were a couple and we had to talk about things but talking didn't me taking orders the rest of my life. I got to make the decisions sometimes too.

* * *

I scanned the area between the cars where our current camp washing line was and tried to think about a better place to put it. I sighed as I realised Shane was right, we did need a better one. I thought about putting one closer to the quarry, middle of the hill maybe, where the ground was flat. The girls would have to carry the heavy wet washing all the way up anymore, which would be a bonus. 

 

"Shane," I said in a sigh, walking over to his spot by the RV. 

 

"Yes Addie?" He asked in response, not looking too happy about what he thought I was about to say. 

 

"I thought about the washing line," I admitted and he perked up considerably. 

 

"You did sweetheart?" He grinned at me, all his ducks in a row. 

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna need help though," I replied. "I need wood. To get wood someone has to cut down a tree and cut it into planks for me."

 

"And you want my help?" He looked at me like I'd grown a second head. 

 

"No, you're camp leader," I replied. "Delegate."

 

"I'll ask the Dixon's," he sighed. 

 

"Please and thank you," I grinned back at him. 

* * *

"How many you want, Princess Goldilocks?" Merle said and I didn't want to bother pointing out Goldilocks wasn't a princess she was just a home invader that narrowly avoided being mauled by bears.

 

"I'm making this," I held up a drawing I'd sketched out of the washing line I'd planned to make and he nodded, seemingly a little impressed with my work. "So however many you think," I explained. 

 

"Can do peaches," he went to the tree Daryl had just chopped down and started splitting it into planks while Daryl was chopping down another tree. I sighed watching them for as I realised I couldn't do anything. I needed someone to dig four holes for me as well. I went down to the spot I wanted to build it and marked them out. 

I looked at the spots I'd marked and then back at the shovel sitting idly by and debated what was considered strenuous. Because really, doctors said don't do anything out of the ordinary. I was a construction worker, I did in fact usually do work so... I sighed. I shouldn't. 

 

"Diggin' holes?" Glenn asked as he walked by. 

 

"I uh, can't," I replied. 

 

"What, why not?" He asked surprised and I internally swore. 

 

"Uh, I hurt my arm," I replied with a quick lie and apparently, believably so. 

 

"Oh," he nodded. "Let me help then. What are we building today, huh?"

 

"Shane's been on at me over building a new, more permanent washing line for a while," I explained. 

 

"Hey Addie, be real with me," he started, picking up the shovel and jabbing it into the ground. "Are you not going on the run because you don't want to or because Shane doesn't want you to?" I sighed. 

 

"It's a bit of both Glenn," I replied honestly. "I'm not sure it's such a great idea going to Atlanta, but I know it's a necessary risk, and if we do it right we could get lucky. And honestly, I'd feel much better about this whole thing  if I was out there with you, but, Shane doesn't really want me to go, and I can see why. I really do see things his way, but that doesn't take away the urge."

 

"How does he see it?" Glenn asked and I frowned. 

 

"Glenn," Lori called, coming up the hill to meet us. "Was wondering where you got to, say, could you do me a favour and look after Carl for a bit, I've got some errands to run and he should be out playing or doing something fun."

 

"Uhh sure," he replied looking like he was torn between being here and looking after Carl. 

 

"You can go off Glenn, pleantly of others can dig holes but few can entertain Carl Grimes," I smiled. Really it would be a blessing if he left and stopped asking questions. So off he was to baby sit while I stared at the hole in the ground.


	25. Clotheslines

"Why are you just staring at the ground?" Shane asked as he came up. 

 

"I'm trying, Shane," I sighed. "I feel so useless. I can't even dig out the holes for this damn washing line. This whole thing is stupid. I don't remember feeling this way the last time."

 

"It won't be like this forever," he replied slinging an arm over my shoulders. "Come on, I'll dig out these holes for you and then we can go for a swim or something."

 

"Thanks," I nodded, smiling at him.

 

"I've got you baby," he replied and stuck the shovel into the dirt. He made quick work of the holed I'd marked out and Merle came up with the first of what would be two large pillars for the base of the washing line.

"Brilliant," I smiled as a sign of good faith. "Thank you."

"Ain't no problem peaches," he replied and went back to get another while I marked out the length and width of a plank on one flat side of the log. I got the chisel and hammer working on removing the right amount of wood the old fashioned way instead of just using a power tool like I would have. At least for part of it, that is. 

By the time I was brought the thicker plank for the first pole I was done carving out a hole. I got Daryl to hold it in place while I hammered it in and then used nails for security. I did the same thing with the next one while Merle went to get a wheel barrow and a bag of cement. Shane went down to the lake, having decided to be helpful, and get some water to make the concrete to fix the poles into the ground. 

"Addie," Carl came running up. 

"Hey baby," I smiled wrapping my arms around him and smiling at Glenn who was a few feet back. 

"What are you doing?" He asked and I smiled. 

"We're building a clothes line," I told him and he looked back bored. 

"Not swings?" he asked. 

"Next time," I ruffled his hair. 

Merle mixed up the cement and I was able to shovel it into the holes while Daryl held the first pole in place. We moved on to the second and then I looked at the amount of cement we had left. 

"We got anymore of them poles?" I asked and Merle nodded. "Guess we are making some swings."

"I'll start the digging," Daryl said as he went out to the shovel and marked out two areas for two more holes, same distance apart as the washing line. He was done by the time Merle was back with the first pole and I started chiseling out the first section. Shane came back with water for all of us before grumbling at the idea of swings. 

"What?" I laughed. "You worried you'll be doing all the pushing?"

"This is a camp," he replied. 

"Exactly, and camps are fun," I grinned and he grumbled, saying something about going to look for some rope. 

We cemented the swing poles in and then I let two go off to do whatever they wanted. Daryl opted to stay here and help out with cutting the planks they'd made into the right lengths. I showed him the plan for the line and he agreed to do that one while I worked on the swings. I first made two seats to give the cement a little while to dry before I started measuring the area, although in this heat the cement wouldn't take long to set at all. 

I manually drilled two holed in each seat for the rope to go through and then worked on putting holes in the two planks that the line for the washing line would go through. Shane came to get me eventually, putting a sunhat on my head and making me drink more water. 

"I think I'm done for the day," I said. "Can't do anything else until the cement dries, might as well go do something fun."

"Wanna go for a nap?" He grinned at me. 

"You know me so well," I smiled back and took his hand as we went to our tent to lay down for a while in the shelter the canvas provided and the shade of the trees. I lay back with my arms behind my head and smiled  at him before closing my eyes and dozing for a few hours. 

"I'm gonna check on the cement," I mumbled, pushing myself up off the ground and Shane grunted in response, not really listening. 

I headed out and tested it, Georgia heat strong enough to have it all virtually set. I had Daryl and Glenn (the first two people I found) hold one of the planks I'd put holes into, up in the air by the plank coming out of the post and nailed it in place. We did the same with the next one and I had to climb up on Daryl's shoulders to tie the plastic coated line material through each hole. He put me down while we waited for Glenn to come back and hand me each piece I'd tied down on the other side while I was on top of Daryl's shoulders at the other side. Things went pretty quickly and eventually we were done with the swing set as well. 

It was more of a stretch trying to tie the rope for the swings to the beam running cross to each pole because we'd made that structure slightly taller. I hopped down and then I went to hang out by the fire while the sun started to set and Lori started to make dinner for the night. While I waited on Shane to get up from his nap I spoke with Daryl about the upcoming hunting trip to try and keep my mind of the upcoming Atlanta run that Glenn would be going on, the first run he'd be going on without me. He was a grown man, he could cope without me, but I still had an uneasy feeling about it.

* * *

I sat on a log by the fire sketching out, onto some paper I'd found, a design for a better fireplace than our temporary one.

"What are you up to now?" Shane asked, sitting down beside me. 

"Was there any kind of trucks belonging to construction workers or concretes out in the highway? Like the ones you cleared?" I asked, ignoring him, trying to come up with a better way to cook on the fire. 

"Uhh, there might have been, why, you need some tools?" He asked rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Sort of," I replied. "You know how you said I should build a better fireplace?" 

"Yeah," he agreed. 

"Well I was thinking if we could get a sheet of reo or some sort of steel mesh we'd have better cooking facilities here at the camp," I replied and he nodded, a pleasantly surprised smile spreading across his face. 

"Wait," he paused. "You're not suggesting this so I'll let you go out scavenging on the highway again."

"I hadn't thought about that actually," I replied and he paled, making me laugh.  "Look at this," I handed him my sketch. 

"Not bad," he nodded thoughtfully, clicking his tongue. "Alright, come on then, let's go before it gets dark."


	26. Where's the Fire?

I watched behind Shane as he popped the hood of the first car we walked up to as he disconnected the alarm wire from the battery so it wouldn't go off when I smashed into it. 

He gave me a nod and I slammed my crowbar into the glass window, unlocking the door and then pulling it open. I crouched and reached for the leaver for the gas tank. It popped open and Shane pulled out the plastic tubing to syphon the gas out. He figured, if we were coming out here, we might as well come back with more than a sheet of reenforced steel mesh. 

While he was doing that I alternated between going through the car and keeping watch for any geeks or hoards. I managed to grab a couple packs of beef jerky from the glove box along with a small first aid kit but other than that, nothing of use. 

I went over to the next car and popped the hood, looking for the same wires Shane had disconnected on the last one to see if I could do the same. He came up beside me smelling slightly of gasoline and he helped me  pick the right wire to disconnect. 

"Shane," I said after a while of us scavenging. 

"Hmm?" He murmured, screwing the cap back on the petrol tank. 

"I wanna find my son," I replied bluntly. 

"Is that why you're always itching to go out on runs?" He asked and I shrugged. 

"It makes me feel useful, it makes me feel good about myself when I come home with something for the group," I explained. "But I can't help but hope and pray that every time I go out I get closer and closer to running into them again."

"You know what's going to happen when you run into David again though, don't you?" Shane replied as I walked up to a dirt and concrete covered truck. 

"He's got my son, Shane," I told him. "He doesn't have me to use as a punching bag, it's only a matter of time. This is a high stress world now, how do we know he hasn't started already?"

"We don't know anything, we don't know they made it out at all," Shane responded harshly. "I can't risk you going out in your condition and something happening. It's dangerous for anyone to go out, but you are not only carrying what could be the future of this species but MY child. If we find them, I'll stop at nothing to protect you and John, but until then, we're not doing this. We'll find him when we find him."

I whipped my head away, turning around so I was no longer facing him as the corners of my eyes started to sting. I put a end up to my face as I felt the salty tears slid down my cheeks. It was agony being away from my son all this time. I'd spent so long before all this trying to get him back but now there was a possibility of me never seeing him again.

"Addie," I heard him sigh behind me. "Look, I'm sorry," he started and I leaned forward into myself and away from his touch. 

He came up behind me anyway and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I wanted to fight him, to break from his hold, but even though it was his harsh words that had upset me, his warmth and grip brought me comfort. 

"Let's go back," I said after a moment or two composing myself. 

"Addie," he started but I shook my head and he accepted eventually, turning around behind us to reach into the back of the truck and grab a toolbox and a small role of reenforced steel mesh. He'd found it most likely while I was turned away and sobbing like a child. 

We walked back towards the quarry in relative silence, nothing but the sounds of birds chirping and trees rushing in the breeze. It would almost be peaceful if it wasn't a demonstration of all the apocalypse had taken from us. 

We made it back eventually, Shane putting everything down in the communal area while I headed straight back to my tent to lay down. I dropped down onto the squishy air mattress and put an arm over my eyes. Shane was right in the respect that if I went out while I was pregnant I could get injured or something and lose not one child but two. But that didn't mean I didn't want my son back before I had this damn baby. 

"Addie," Shane announced his presence before unzipping the canvas flap to the tent and climbing in. "I'm sorry," he started and moved to come sit in front of me. 

"You're right I just miss him. He's my son," I said wiping my face. "I want my baby."

"I know," he nodded and climbed into bed beside me, wrapping me tightly in his strong embrace. He placed a soft kiss on the side of my neck before resting his head there while we took a nap.

* * *

That night at dinner Daryl had brought up the hunting trip I'd neglected to mention in front of Shane and he wasn't particularly happy about it. But Daryl, being the equally as grumpy, redneck that he is, wasn't taking any of Shane's shit. With the volume of their argument, by the end of it I even had Merle's support. 

"Alright, alright," Shane grumbled. "I suppose it would keep you close by, out of trouble and you'd have someone who knows what their doing at your side."

"Are you implying I don't know what I'm doing?" I put a hand on my hip and raised a blonde brow. 

"I'm saying if something goes wrong you're not on your own," he corrected looking frustrated. 

"Sure," I joked, acting annoyed and watching his face twist.

"You ready to go?" Daryl asked from behind me. 

"Yep," I nodded and pulled on Shane's deputy cap, following the disgruntled redneck as he turned on his heel and marched away from the fire pit.

I tried my best to keep a pace as quick as his while walking as quietly as I could so I didn't spook anything. I probably looked like a massive dork wandering around emulating some survival expert. I blame it on having too many Bear Grills episodes under my belt. 

"You look like an idiot," Daryl's voice broke the silence and I looked up up him from my semi crouched position. He'd turned around and was glaring at me like he was considering shooting me with the crossbow he was tightly holding. 

"Sorry," I stood up straight, shrugging a little. "I got a little carried away."

"Just keep walking as lightly as you are and you'll be fine," he told me. "No talking."

"Got it," I whispered and followed along behind him, quietly, but looking less like an idiot. 

* * *

Merle Dixon is shooting at several of the Walkers on the street below with a sniper rifle, killing some of them.

"Hey, Dixon, are you crazy?!" T-Dog called as the group made it to the roof. Merle just laughed and kept on shooting.

"Oh jeez," said Andrea.

"Hey! Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun! Huh? Ah! Only common sense," Merle said as he found more targets to shoot.

"Man, you wasting bullets we ain't even got!" T-Dog argued as they all watched Merle continue to laugh and shoot. "And you're bringing even more of them down on our ass! Man, just chill."

"Hey! Bad enough I've got this taco-bender on my ass all day. Now I'm gonna take orders from you? I don't think so, bro. That'll be the day," Merle replied and Glenn sighed. He was beginning to think Addison was right, Daryl wasn't so bad after all.

"That'll be the day? You got something you want to tell me?" T-Dog replied angrily. 

"Hey, T-Dog man, just leave it," Morales patted his friend on the shoulder.

"No," T-Dog replied.

"All right? It ain't worth it. Now Merle, just relax, okay? We've got enough trouble," Morales continued. 

"You want to know the day?" Merle asked, stirring up more trouble. 

"Yeah," T-Dog replied and Glenn ran a hand over his face. 

"I'll tell you the day, Mr. "Yo." It's the day I take orders from a nigger," Merle replied.

"Mother… " Glenn watched T-Dog punch Merle in the face after he'd tossed out the racial slur. It was no secret Merle was a racist, redneck, douchebag but Glenn's jaw dropped at the slur. Merle smacked T-Dog in the face with his rifle in retaliation and Glenn and Rick moved forwards to try and break up the fight.

"Hey, come on, Merle. That's enough," Morales tried to settle them down. 

"Come on. Dixon!" Andrea tried to intervene. 

Merle launched a punch into Rick, sending sailing towards the ground. 

"Whoa, cut it out, man!" Morales tried to get a hold of the brawling men. 

"Stop it! Dixon, get off him! Dixon, you're gonna hurt him," Andrea called. 

Merle dropped T-Dog and sent him into the pipe on the roof, his head smacking before he hit the ground. Glenn watched in horror and Merle went wild on T-Dog, while Rick was holding a hand in front of his face trying to recover. 

"Merle, cut it out!" Andrea called. She watched as Merle pulled a pistol out and aimed it for the man pinned underneath him. "No no no, please. Please."

"Yeah! All right! We're gonna have ourselves a little powwow, huh? Talk about who's in charge. I vote me. Anybody else? Huh? Democracy time, y'all. Show of hands, huh? All in favor? Huh? Come on. Let's see 'em. Oh, come on. All in favor? Yeah. That's good. Now that means I'm the boss, right? Yeah. Anybody else? Hmm? Anybody?" Merle said as everyone watched him with shock and horror.

"Yeah," Rick said hitting Merle over the head with a pipe. He then handcuffed him to a nearby pipe. 

"Who the hell are you, man?!" Merle said as he looked up at Rick.

"Officer friendly," Rick replied and leaned in close to Merle. "Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart."

"Screw you, man," Merle replied.

"I can see you make a habit of missing the point," Rick commented. 

"Yeah? Well, screw you twice," Merle countered. 

"Ought to be polite to a man with a gun," Rick said cocking his gun. "Only common sense."

"You wouldn't. You're a cop," Merle concluded. 

"All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose. I'll give you a moment to think about that," Rick explained and Glenn nodded in the background. "Got some on your nose there."

"What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" Merle laughed. It was times like these Glenn wished he'd brought Addie along on this run too. 

"Man, I wish Addie was here," he groaned. 

"I hear you," T-Dog nodded, glaring at Merle. "She was pretty good at controlling the white trash."

"She was pretty good at leading runs like this," Glenn continued. "Always knew how to get out of situations like this. 

"Addison who?" Rick asked. 

"Who wants to know?" Glenn replied, suspicious of the stranger. 

"Rick," Rick replied and Glenn glared at the offending male. 

"You know a David?" The Korean man glared at the officer.

* * *

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind," Dale said as Shane came back from the other fire circle.

"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me," T-Dog answered.

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine," Rick countered.  

"Guys, it's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy," Glenn interjected.

"I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him," T-Dog explained.

"We could lie," suggested Amy.

"Or tell the truth. Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed. Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's," Andrea said.

"And that's what we tell Daryl? I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise… We're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt," Dale said.

"We could tell Addie first," Glenn suggested. 

"Well it is certainly true, the Dixon brothers have certainly bonded with the blonde since they started working together on the projects around the camp," Dale agreed. "We might have better luck if she were to tell him. But there is one problem.."

"She wasn't there," Shane finished for the older male. "And if she wasn't there, he's gonna start asking how she knows exactly what went on, and he's gonna want to go back there himself."


	27. Atlanta

"We'll be out most of the night to catch some night shift animals," Daryl commented, talking about the nocturnal wildlife around the forest. 

"I'll radio his Highness then," I replied and Daryl gave a nod. "Shane," I called into the walkie talkie that had been in the bag from the sheriff's station all this time. We'd found batteries for it in one of the cars we'd scavenged on the highway.

"You coming back soon?" Shane's voice crackled through the radio, barely making full words. 

"No," I replied. "We're hunting some nocturnal animals, I'll be back later. I'm doing alright."

"I think that's a bad idea," Shane started. 

"It's better than trying to make it back by myself, you said yourself safety in numbers," I used his own game against him. 

"Fine," he replied. "Stay safe and stick behind Dixon."

"Got it," I turned off the walkie talkie to conserve battery and stepped in front of Daryl, catching the smirk on his face as I completely ignored the instructions of my over protective fiancé. 

It wasn't long before we were on the move again, stalking the area and stepping lightly so as not to spook the rabbits we were hunting now. 

* * *

The night had shifted into a light blue/grey colour and we had been out for hours. After gathering an impressive haul of squirrels and rabbits, which Daryl caught all of, we started making our way back toward came and the fence line we had constructed together. I walked less quietly now, hot and sweaty from trapping around in the woods for hours and pretty tired. I was ready to head back and take a nap. 

We got closer to camp and Daryl moved in front of me to take lead. We cleared the woods and made it back to the gravel of the quarry, I could smell the smoke from the burning fire and relaxed a little bit, but could swear I heard extra voices. The others must have been back from Atlanta or something. 

Daryl put a hand out in front of me and I slowed. I turned my head to him and he put a finger in front of his lips and pointed in front of us. There was a deer, a hundred meters away or less. I stayed very still and very quiet and watched as he shot a couple of bolts from his crossbow at the wildlife in front of us. It took off and Daryl stopped me from heading after it. 

"No point," he said. "It'll drop soon, we'll find it when it's down. It won't get far."

I nodded and then followed after him eventually we neared the area where it had fallen and I looked ahead. first I saw the deer on the ground and a dead walker near it and then I saw all the gus standing around. Before I had time to process any of it, I heard the sounds of guns cocking.

Daryl looked ahead annoyed and I just instinctively sent my hands half up in the air bent at the elbows and level with my head. I saw Shane and the slow smile spread across his face when he recognised it was me and I sent a sheepish look and a shrug back.

"Hey baby," Shane greeted.

"Son of a bitch. That's my deer! Look at it," he looked back at me and pointed. "All gnawed on by this… filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!" Daryl started kicking the carcass of the walker and I sighed. Whatever makes him feel better I suppose. 

"Calm down, son. That's not helping," Dale replied and I inwardly rolled my eyes. Well now you've done it. Daryl's a hot head.

"What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to "on golden pond"? I've been tracking this deer for miles," Daryl explained. "Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

"I would not risk that," Shane replied and Daryl sighed.

"That's a damn shame. I got some squirrel… about a dozen or so. Some rabbit too. That'll have to do," Daryl said and then the walker's head started to gnaw and bit.

"Oh god," said Amy, who I just now noticed was here.

"Come on, people. What the hell?" Daryl grumbled. He shot it with one of his arrows and then went forward to pull out the bolt again. "t's gotta be the brain. Don't y'all know nothing?"

"Where the hell did that thing come from?" I asked. "There's never been any up this far before."

"That's what we just said," a familiar voice said and my head shot up.

"Rick?" I asked, surprised to find him standing in front of me alive.

"In the flesh," he smiled and I walked over to give him a hug. 

"I'm glad you made it," I smiled. 

"And what about you?" He asked. "Last time I saw you, you were sitting in the dirt and sobbing. You alright now? You fix up that stupid thing?"

I laughed. "Oh god that was a long time ago," I laughed again. "Yeah, that stupid thing is right here," I gestured to Shane who just smiled. 

"You two? Really?" He asked and Shane and I nodded. 

"Yes sir," I smiled and he patted us both on the shoulder. 

"I'm happy for you both," he said. 

He headed back towards camp, Daryl taking lead and carrying all the animals we did manage to catch and kill. Well, I say we but I really mean he. 

"Merle," Daryl called out as we filed into camp. "Merle. Get your ugly ass here. Got us some squirrel. Let's stew 'em up."

"Daryl, you slow up a bit I need to talk to you," I heard Shane say and I turned around to see the gathering crowd of campers.

"Bout what?" Daryl turned and asked, confused. 

"About Merle," Shane answered. "There was a… There was a problem in Atlanta."

"He dead?" Daryl asked and I instantly felt bad. If Merle had died.. I didn't really like him but I do have a brother, and I can't imagine how I'd feel in the same situation.

"We're not sure," Shane answered and I sighed. They'd lost him somehow. 

"He either is or he ain't!" Daryl yelled. 

"No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it," Rick started and I eyed him. Was Rick involved somehow?

"Who are you?" Daryl asked annoyed. 

"Rick grimes." He answered. 

"Rick grimes, you got something you want to tell me?" Daryl rounded on him.

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there," he explained. 

"Hold on. Let me process this. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!"

"Yeah," Rick answered only to have Daryl launch himself at him. 

"Hey! Watch the knife!" T-Dog yells and I whipped my head around to see Daryl pull a knife. 

"Shit, Daryl!" I yelled out. Shane came up from behind, putting Daryl in a chokehold. 

"Okay. Okay," Shane said trying to calm the situation. 

"You'd best let me go!" Daryl yelled. 

"Nah, I think it's better if I don't," Shane replied. 

"Choke hold's illegal," Daryl commented. 

"Yeah, file a complaint. Come on, man. We'll keep this up all day."

"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic," Rick said leaning into Daryl's face. "Do you think we can manage that? Do you think we can manage that?"

"Hmm?" Shane asked. 

"Mmm. Yeah," Daryl said finally and Shane let him go.

"What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others," Rick tried to explain, a fact I could personally attest to.

"It's not Rick's fault. I had the key. I dropped it," T-Dog provided.

"You couldn't pick it up?" Daryl asked.

"Well, I dropped it in a drain," T-Dog replied looking guilty.

"If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't," Daryl replied. 

"Well, maybe this will. Look, I chained the door to the roof… So the geeks couldn't get at him… With a padlock. It's gotta count for something," he explained. 

"Hell with all y'all! Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him," he grumbled, gathering his stuff.

"He'll show you. Isn't that right?" Lori said and I raised a brow, didn't she just get him back?

"I'm going back," he agreed and Daryl glared between the two as Rick walked off to change.

"So that's it, huh? You're just gonna walk off? Just to hell with everybody else?" Shane asked Rick, trying to find out what the hell was going on. But I'd like to point out, this was Lori's fault in the first place. She suggested it. 

"I'm not saying to hell with anybody… Not you Shane…" Rick started.

"Lori least of all. Tell her that," Shane explained. 

"She knows."

"Well, look, I… I don't, okay, Rick? So could you just… Could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?" Shane asked, it was a good point. Rick doesn't even know Merle, we do and a lot of people in this camp don't wanna come.

"Hey, choose your words more carefully," Daryl warned. 

"No, I did. Douche bag's what I meant," Shane replied and I smiled a little. "Merle Dixon…The guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst."

"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst… me. Thirst and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being."

"So you and Daryl, that's your big plan?" Lori asked. IT WAS HER IDEA.

"Oh, come on," Glenn whined as everyone in the group turned to him. 

"You know the way. You've been there before… In and out, no problem. You said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask… I know that, but I'd feel a lot better with you along. I know she would too," Rick begged, and pointed to Lori. 

"But I wouldn't," I interjected and Glenn gave me a nod.

"That's just great. Now you're gonna risk three men, huh?" Shane asked annoyed.

"Four," T-Dog replied. 

"My day just gets better and better, don't it?" Daryl grumbled. 

"You see anybody else here stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?" T-Dog replied and I sighed.

"Why you?" Daryl replied as I watched on silently.

"You wouldn't even begin to understand. You don't speak my language," T-Dog replied. 

"That's four," Dale counted.

"It's not just four," Shane argued. "You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come on, you saw that walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back, we need every able body we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp." 

"It seems to me what you really need most here are more guns," Rick responded. Really, with the stuff I brought from the Sheriff Station, what we needed was more ammunition. 

"Right, the guns," Glenn nodded, obviously privy to more information than I was. 

"Wait. What guns?" Shane replied. 

"Six shotguns, two high-powered rifles, over a dozen handguns. I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. I dropped the bag in Atlanta when I got swarmed. It's just sitting there on the street, waiting to be picked up," Rick explained and I thought back to Armstrong. I felt really bad that he had to die so early on. He was a pretty good guy. 

"Ammo?" Shane asked. 

"700 rounds, assorted," Rick returned. 

"You went through hell to find us. You just got here and you're gonna turn around and leave?" Lori replied. Am I the only one who's noticed the complete 180 she's just done?

"Dad, I don't want you to go," Carl said and I instantly felt a pull on my heart strings. I walked over to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder and he instantly threw himself into me, hugging me tightly. 

"To hell with the guns. Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in. Tell me. Make me understand," Lori demanded. 

"I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy. Lori, if they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died. It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him," Ricked explained. 

"Were they at your house?" I asked and Rick turned to look at me.

"How do you know that?" He asked.

"Was the little boy called Duane? Would have been maybe 13/14. Average height for that age, african american?" I asked. 

"Yeah he was," Rick agreed and then came closer to get more out of me.

"They were there when I went to find Lori and Carl before I left King County and ended up here," I explained. "Kid was funny. Bright too."

"I've got to warn them then," Rick said. 

"What's stopping you?" Lori asked.

"The walkie-talkie, the one in the bag I dropped. He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer," Rick explained. 

"These are our walkies?" Shane asked, I had one, if we had another that would be really helpful. And if we met up with that dude and his son, that made three. 

"Yeah," Rick confirmed. 

"So use the CB. What's wrong with that?" Andrea interjected.

"The CB's fine. It's the walkies that suck to crap… Date back to the '70s, don't match any other bandwidth… Not even the scanners in our cars," Shane explained. 

"I need that bag. Okay?" Rick relied. 

"All right," Lori agreed. 

 "Okay?" Rick crouched by Carl and he nodded. 

"I want Addie too," Daryl demanded. 

"What?!" Shane swung round. "Forget about it."

"Like it's your decision," I grumbled. 

"Actually I'd feel a lot better if we had her watching our backs," Glenn agreed. "She's the one with the most experience on these runs."

"And she can control the Dixons," T-Dog agreed.

"We ain't animals, we don't need no control," Daryl objected. 

"No you're not," I agreed. "But I have a plan," I told him and all eyes were on me. 

"Rick, you and T-Dog take the moving van. You take lead cause you've got the dexterity should we run into tough stuff. Daryl, Glenn and I will take my jeep. It's quiet and it's fast and plenty good to play team distraction if need be. And frankly I trust none of y'all with my car without me in it. We'll meet up at the building you left him at but have a car either side in case we can't get out one way. And," I said heading back to my car and unlocking it. "Bolt cutters. If he's cuffed to the roof, then we're going to set him free. We go in for Merle first and then we we use Glenn's car to our advantage to get the guns. If all goes well, we're back before sundown."

"So you, me and the Chinaman and those assholes over there?" Daryl asked.

"He's Korean," I corrected. "I figure if we're doing this, you want someone you can trust watching your back."

"Let's go," Daryl said and started heading out to the car. 

"Addie just wait a damn second," Shane marched towards us. "I thought we agreed you weren't going out anymore."

"We agreed no such thing," I returned. "We agreed I wouldn't go on that run, and look what happened. Look I get you want to protect me, and I know why, but right now we don't have a choice. You want all your ducks to come home when you yell quack, quack, quack? This is how it has to be. I'll see you when I get back."

"Actually," Glenn started. "I picked this up for you while we were on the run earlier. You seem to like melee weapons," he went back to the red car and handed me a machete in it's case. 

"Where the hell did you find this?" I laughed, chuffed at the gift. "Although I thought I asked for a book."

"Same thing," he laughed and I hung the machete to my belt. 

"Come on let's go!!" I could hear Daryl yelling and honking the horn in the moving van from the back. I walked with Glenn over to where Shane and Rick were, stopping just before because their conversation sounded private. 

"Last time we were on the gun range, I'm sure I wound up with a few loose rounds of yours," Shane said and I smiled. I thought back to it actually, when I learned to shoot Rick was the one who suggested I head down to the same range the Sherrifs Station use. 

_"Probably the best guns for you to learn to shoot with are these two right here," the guy behind the counter said while Officer Grimes stood behind me. "They're lightweight and easy use for beginners."_

_"What do you think?" I turned around behind me to asked the kindly deputy._

_"They're both equally good guns, each have their strong points and drawbacks. Why not see if he has any rentals behind the counter that you can go out back and try out. That way you know which to buy," Rick suggested and the guy nodded._

_"I  have both of these in rentals," he confirmed. "You'll be teaching her?" He looked to Rick._

_"To start with," Rick nodded. "The rest of the time she can come back here to practice."_

_"Alright," the guy nodded and headed out back._

_"You fill out all the stuff you need for concealed carry permits?" Rick asked as he stepped closer to the counter, staring down at a gripped shaped bruise on my forearm that was still fading._

_"Yeah," I nodded._

_"That's good," he praised. "You'll be safe here, learning how to practice. The Sheriff's Station doesn't have it's own range at the moment, but it's well known that this is where the police go. No one will touch you here."_

_"Rick," a tall, dark and southernly handsome guy walked up to him holding a black duffle with Sheriff written across it. "Got some of your rounds in here."_

_He put the bag on the counter and handed them over to the deputy behind me. He smiled at me slightly before picking up his bag, patting Rick on the shoulder and then heading out._

_"Him and that back," Rick commented._

"You and that bag… like the bottom of an old lady's purse," Rick smiled and I couldn't help but think back to what could have actually been the first time I'd met Shane. 

"I hate that you're doing this, man. I think that it's foolish and reckless. But if you're gonna go, you're taking bullets," Shane said. 

"I'm not sure I'd want to fire a shot in the city, not after what happened last time," Rick replied and I turned to look at Glenn who wore a look that said he'd fill me in later.

"That's up to you," Shane said. "Well… Four men, four rounds. What are the odds, huh? Well, let's just hope that… Let's just hope four is your lucky number, okay?"

"Thank you," Rick replied walking away.

"All right," he breathed. "And Addie, I swear to god,"

"If I don't come back you'll hunt me down and tie me to the RV, I know," I replied smiling and standing on my tip toes to kiss him.

"And when you get back," he stared. 

"We're going to have a serious discussion about my choices," I finished. "I know."

"Just come back," he said a little more desperately. "Please."

"I will," I nodded. "I have to much here. I have you, I have us," I explained. "I have our family."

He put a hand on my stomach and leaned down to kiss my forehead. He rested his head on the top of mine. It would have been a nice moment if Daryl wasn't in my car now honking the horn and yelling at me. 

"Come on, come on, stop makin' babies and let's go," he called out and I rolled my eyes.   
  
"Autobots, let's roll out," I said in my best Optimus Prime voice next to Glenn and he just laughed. I waved to Shane one last time and headed to the jeep.

I climbed into the back of the car while Glenn drove and Daryl took the passenger seat. I sat most of the journey wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. But I couldn't help thinking this was partly my fault. This wouldn't have happened if I'd gone on this run with them. It just wouldn't have. Just thinking back to the game of Keep Away, I was good at uniting these guys. And I had been outside of the quarry's walls before. I wouldn't get caught up in the excitement or the chaos. 

"How do you know Grimes?" Daryl asked. 

"He's Carl's dad," I replied as if it was obvious. 

"He's more than that," Daryl countered. 

"Yeah, you two know each other a lot better than dad and the baby sitter. Unless you had a porn dad and baby sitter relationship," Glenn interjected. 

"He responded to mose of the 911 calls I made when I was living with Dave," I explained. "He took a lot of reports from me and a few from my brother, he's the one who built the case enough to take it to court."

"But from the way you described it," Glenn said. "It wasn't enough. Shouldn't you be mad at him?"

"I'm fucking furious right now," I agreed. "But not at him. I've got a lot of things to be mad about, but the way he handled my case was nothing but professional. And he was helping me appeal the court's decision. Taught me how to shoot."

"This Dave guy," Daryl asked. "Was he hitting you?"

"He was," I confirmed.

"If we ever find him, I'm gonna kill him," Daryl said. 

"Get in line," I replied and Glenn laughed.

We were silent the rest of the trip. We drove up along some old train tacks and then pulled up, the moving van stopping behind us. 

"We walk from here," Glenn turned back to me and I nodded, hopping out of the back. We met up with T-Dog and then headed out, running along the tracks and up towards the overpass. Glenn opened up some wire that someone had cut through another time and then Rick ducked through. 

"Merle first or guns?" Rick asked looking at Glenn. 

"Merle! We ain't even having this conversation," Daryl told him gruffly. 

"We are," Rick replied and then looked back to Glenn and I. "You know the geography. It's your call."

"We go with Addie's plan, Merle's closest. The guns would mean doubling back. Merle first," He explains and I nodded. I just suggested we get Merle first because I thought he'd be in danger. I didn't know it would actually be the most efficient plan.

We jogged until we got to the department store and Glenn showed us the way back in. He went in first, Rick right after. Daryl held the door open for me as he checked behind us to make sure nothing followed and I ducked in as quickly as possible. He closed the way just as quickly and then walked up closer to the front.

We spotted a geek right away and we all kept quiet on our approach. Daryl took the front and held his crossbow up in front of him. 

"Damn. You are one ugly skank," he said quietly before pulling the trigger and shooting her in the face. 

We headed to the back and then ran up the stairs, I deliberately took the back in case there were geeks up the stairs, I knew fine Shane would kill me if I died here in the stairwell. I watched as T-Dog cut the padlock with the bolt cutters I gave him and Daryl kicked the door open. 

"Merle! Merle!" Daryl called out as he ran onto the roof. We followed after him hurriedly. He looked down and saw a hand laying on the ground where the handcuffs were and he started to sob. "No! No!" 

We silently watched in horror and I put a hand up to my mouth. 

"No!" Daryl yelled and I felt sick. "No! No!"

The cuffs were covered in blood but it seemed odd there would be nothing left but a hand if the geeks had got to him. I looked and saw a bloody saw nearby and a trail of blood and then I knew what had happened. Merle had cut off his own hand to free himself and most likely left as soon as he got free. 

Daryl spun round and let out a frustrated growl, throwing his crossbow up in front of him and pointing it at T-Dog. My voice cracked as I threw my hand up out towards the two, trying to yell out no. Rick was quicker, cocking his gun and holding it to Daryl's head. 

"I won't hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it," Rick said and I could se the gears turning in Daryl's head as he realised Rick was serious. He dropped his crossbow and then Rick put his gun down, uncocking it and holding it by his side. 

"You got a do-rag or something?" Daryl asked after composing himself for a moment. T-Dog handed him one and Daryl meant down to pick up Merle's hand that had already started to decay."I guess the saw blade was too dull for the handcuffs. Ain't that a bitch."

He turned and walked over to Glenn, putting it in his backpack. I could see by the disgusted lok on his face he wasn't too happy about it. Daryl turned to me then, at this point he was mostly only talking to me. "He must have used a tourniquet… maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't," he explained and then spotted the blood trail I had earlier. He pointed to it, like he had whoever we caught a trail out in the woods and we started to follow it. 

T-Dog went over and started to pick up the tools I recognised as Dale's. They'd had to borrow his because I'd refused to lend out mine. Seems that was something the old guy and I had in common. We didn't like to lend out tools.

We followed the blood to the next entrance back inside, this one was open and had lockers in the doorway. When we came in to the next anding there were both stairs going up and going down. I looked up quickly to make sure there were no geeks and then trained my eyes down. None their either. 

"Merle? You in here?" Daryl hollered out as we headed down the stairs. 

We got down to someone's office and there was a woman standing there. She growled as she turned around and I could see part of her jaw was missing. Daryl shot a bolt from his crossbow at her and she went straight down like a sack of potatoes. Rick and Glenn came round the corner then and we headed through the rest of the building. 

There were two geeks laying on the ground, dead already. And Daryl assessed them. 

"Had enough in him to take out these two sumbitches. One handed," Daryl said. "Toughest asshole I ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer, he'd crap out nails." I smiled that that.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is," Rick told him, concerned over the situation and what we might find. 

There was more of a blood trail up ahead and we followed it through a couple of rooms through to an office kitchen. 

"Merle!" Daryl yelled and Rick glared at him. 

"We're not alone here. Remember?" He scolded through a whisper. 

"Screw that. He could be bleeding out. You said so yourself," Daryl replied and Rick gave me a once over, I had the weird feeling every time he looked at me and I wondered what he was thinking. If he knew something I didn't.

The stove was still lit and there was a flat, iron looking thing with some crispy flesh on it. Rick walked over and picked it up for inspection. 

"What's that burnt stuff?" Glenn asked. 

"Skin," Rick answered. "He He cauterized the stump.

"Told you he was tough," Daryl said like a little brother bragging about the elder. "Nobody can kill Merle but Merle."

"Don't take that on faith. He's lost a lot of blood," Rick explained. 

"Yeah? Didn't stop him from busting out of this death trap," Daryl replied and I sighed, it was never easy here, was it?

"He left the building? Why the hell would he do that?" Glenn asked as we came to a smashed window. 

"Damn him," I grumbled under my breath.

"Why wouldn't he? He's out there alone as far as he knows, doing what he's got to do. Surviving," Daryl replied. 

"You call that surviving? Just wandering out in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?" T-Dog responded, and was making a pretty solid argument. But I wasn't exactly ready to give up, even if I was never more pissed off than I was earlier. 

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you sorry pricks," Daryl replied walking round him, then turning to Rick. "You couldn't kill him. Ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard."

"What about 1,000 dead dumb bastards? Different story?" Rick replied. 

"Why don't you take a tally? Do what you want," Daryl countered. "I'm gonna go get him, Addie you can come if you want.." He said turning to me but Rick wouldn't let him go.

"Daryl, wait," Rick said pushing him back. 

"Get your hands off me! You can't stop me," Daryl growled. 

"I don't blame you. He's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine. I know exactly how you feel. He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but only if we keep a level head," Rick replied. 

"I could do that," Daryl nodded, happier now he could see Rick was more willing to help him. Rick turned to T-Dog.

"Only if we get those guns first. I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?" T-Dog said and I nodded, I wasn't to happy about being the only one armed to the teeth. I patted each side for my guns, checking the back of my jeans too. Bringing comfort to myself when I confirmed what I already knew. 

We knelt on the kitchen floor as Glenn drew out the plan and I grew pretty nervous at what he was suggesting. 

"You're not doing this alone," Rick said and I furiously nodded. 

"I'll come with you if I have to Glenn, then you can be the one who explains to Shane why I'm making reckless choices," I told him and Daryl smiled a little. 

"Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like you much," he said and Glenn sighed. 

"It's a good idea, okay, if you just hear me out. If we go out there in a group, we're slow, drawing attention. If I'm alone, I can move fast," Glenn stated and drew on all the marks of the guns, tank and where we were on the map. "Look. That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now. That's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl and I will go."

"Why me?" Daryl asked and I kind of eyed him.

"Your crossbow is quieter than his gun. While Daryl waits here in the alley, I run up the street, grab the bag," Glenn explained. 

"You got us elsewhere?" Rick asked and Glenn posted further down the street.

"You and T-Dog, right. You'll be in this alley here,"

"Two blocks away? Why?" Rick asked and I crossed my arms, yet to find out where I was going. 

"I may not be able to come back the same way. Walkers might cut me off. If that happens, I won't go back to Daryl. I'll go forward instead, all the way around to that alley where you guys are. Whichever direction I go, I got you in both places to cover me. Afterwards, we'll all meet back here."

"Hey, kid, what'd you do before all this?" Daryl asked.

"Delivered pizzas. Why?" He asked and I laughed. No wonder I never got my pizza free if people like Glenn were delivering. It would be practically guaranteed to get to me in under 30 minutes. 

"You're pretty good at this," Daryl said. 

"Where do you want me?" I asked and he marked out a spot on the map across the street from where Daryl was waiting. 

"I need you here just in case geeks sneak up behind me," Glenn said. 

"Wouldn't it be better then, if I came with you? You know, watch your back?" I asked. 

"I need to keep you out of the way," he explained. "Or Shane'll kill me."

"You die because of this and I'll kill you twice," I replied and he sighed. 

"Fine," he rubbed the mark out. "You're with me but if he kills me, you're coming too."

I laughed. "Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> BOOM BABY How'd you like that?


End file.
